3 Ways to Beat Social Anxiety!

hey everyone today we're gonna talk about three CBT techniques that can help you overcome social anxiety and also I want to give a huge thank you to the great courses Plus who is sponsoring this video first let's define the term anxiety anxiety is a feeling of worry nervousness or unease typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome now when we talk about social anxiety that worry or nervousness is focused primarily on social interactions and in order to specifically target social anxiety we have to understand anxiety as a whole an anxiety is created and sustained by three different components the physiological component cognitive and behavioral now the physiological part is how anxiety feels in our body could be a racing heart sweaty palms flushed face or even feeling faint and this is one of the most important components of anxiety because it's the first one people notice if you suffer from panic attacks those symptoms would fall under this portion the second is the cognitive part now cognitive is honestly it's just a fancy way of saying thoughts or thought processes any anxious thoughts that we have would fall into this category many of my patients report thinking I'm going to make a fool of myself or they'll just think that I'm so boring so any prediction that comes out of our anxiety would be considered part of the cognitive portion and the third is the behavioural part for something to be part of this component it needs to be something that someone else could notice us doing or not doing could be not making eye contact looking away stuttering or even walking quickly by this could also be something we aren't doing because we're avoiding it completely but someone would still notice that we didn't go to lunch with the team like everyone else therefore avoiding something because of our anxiety would still fall under this category now most people with social anxiety don't just experience one of these components in fact these three parts usually work together to intensify our anxiety episodes for example let's just say that your boss comes Oh to your desk and says they would like to see you after lunch you could automatically think that you must have done something wrong or that you're you know in really big trouble for something then you begin to feel your muscles tighten your heart starts to race and you begin to sweat then you may dread going in to see them in their office trying to put it off as long as you can or even struggle to make eye contact once you get in there so you can see just based on that simple example how all three components almost happen automatically when we struggle with anxiety therefore in order to overcome our social anxiety we're gonna have to fight back against all three of them and the first step to fighting back is doing systemic graduated exposure which is honestly just another fancy way of saying that we're going to have to slowly expose ourselves to the scary or anxiety provoking thing until it's no longer so scary or anxiety provoking now I've talked about exposure therapy in the past and this is very similar however it is specific to social anxiety and its treatment and it's important that this type of exposure therapy be done with a mental health professional so that we can roleplay different scenarios in session and get feedback on how it went it also allows us to play out any situations or circumstances that were afraid will happen when we try to do this outside of therapy this type of treatment works so well because it allows us to practice exactly what it is that we need or want to do and we get to say what it is that we need to say and imagine what someone else would say back and then we get feedback immediately after about how it went it also works because it gives you the time you need to see that any of the bodily responses you're having to the anxiety like shaky knees racing heart all of that will go away after a while as long as we're able to stay in the anxiety provoking situation because let's be honest we usually don't right instead we assume that we'll felt terrible and anxious forever if we didn't run away or find a way to leave immediately but staying in it we can realize that our feelings of anxiety only last for a little bit and the more we practice it and expose ourselves to those anxious experiences the better it gets also by role-playing in the anxiety provoking situation in therapy we can test out any of our dysfunctional beliefs meaning that if we worry that when we stand up and give a presentation at work that we're gonna sneeze and spit all over our boss and have to walk out in shame we can practice giving our presentation pretending that our therapist is our boss and see just how unlikely that scenario really is it's sort of another way of testing our anxious beliefs to show us just how faulty they are and step number two is cognitive restructuring which is just another fancy saying but it really means that we are going to safely question any beliefs assumptions or expectations that we have just like I mentioned before we may believe that when we give our presentation we're gonna sneeze on our boss and we have to walk out and shame this portion of treatment helps us acknowledge that expectation and learn to healthfully question it just like I said before if we're role-playing we can see just how unlikely it is that that's actually gonna happen and part of that is kind of the cognitive restructuring now how this would work in therapy is that you and your therapist will begin noticing any beliefs assumptions or expectations that you have that may be false or only making your anxiety worse and you'll bring these up in session and work together to question them to see if they really make sense or are actually helpful in your life now I know this can sound intense and really terrifying but know that all of this is done slowly and with care as you roleplay different anxiety producing social situations you can suss all of this out you can even start today honestly by simply noticing what it is you're worried will happen if you do the thing you feel anxious about by taking the time to question those beliefs or the thoughts that come up we're not only changing and challenging the cognitive component of anxiety but we're also decreasing the avoidance or behavioral components so it's kind of like a two-in-one the third and final tip is to practice in real life every social anxiety treatment is going to involve some homework outside of therapy because just practicing things in therapy isn't going to make doing it in real life any easier we have to push ourselves to try new things out and report back how it went this homework could also include just keeping track of our anxious or dysfunctional thoughts maybe reading certain books are working in a workbook but it will need to be done outside of your therapy sessions and it's really important to remember to be honest with your therapist during this part of your work together because we need to let them know what we'll be able to do or not do it doesn't help us to just say yes I'm gonna do all this homework this is fine if we really aren't gonna be able to follow through so if you feel that they're going too fast or pushing you too hard let them know speak up and just by doing that you're already practicing being assertive and speaking up for yourself which are both things to be honest that my patience with social anxiety struggle with a lot thanks again to the great courses plus for sponsoring this video the great courses plus is a subscription on-demand video learning service where you can enjoy lectures from top professors around the world by signing up you get unlimited access to a huge library of video lectures on anything that interest you like science math or even cognitive behavioral therapy they have a new app that you can use to learn on the go although you can stream it on your TV tablet and your laptop too I completed their CBT course on anxiety and fear and it was a great refresher for me what I love about the course is that you aren't just told about CBT and how it works as a therapy style you also get to see actual therapy being done very cool and it's essentially a more in-depth look at what we talked about in this video today so if you're interested in a free trial of the great courses plus go to the great courses plus com /k T or click the link in the description and get started today and I don't know about you but after watching something that's kind of intense and I need time to digest I like to watch something funny or silly on youtube so go ahead and click over there and check out those videos and take some time to relax and absorb all that you learn today and remember together we're working towards a healthy mind and a healthy body and I'll see you next time right


  1. I made my uni class watch this today. Future paramedics of the U.K. have now seen this. We had a discussion about it too ♥️

  2. I wanted to be an actress since I was 9 and I am almost 30. I took acting in high school, but I’d get so anxious when getting on stage in class that I would totally black out, well sorta. I’d go through my monologue really quick to get off stage. I’d get frustrated because it felt like I never had a moment to like calm down and get over it and preform the way I pictured it in my head. So I kinda just gave up on the dream.

  3. My social anxiety started when I got verbally bullied in my secondary school I use to be very confident guy in school whenever a group of people ask me to do things with them but soon later they started mocking me and telling me to do them favors for there own benefit like borrow lunch money or borrow my food to them and since then I haven’t been able to trust myself with groups of people because I feel like they always make you do things you don’t want to do….and it really sucks

  4. Is it social anxiety if it only affects me at school and church because when I talk to strangers in myself but anywhere I think I’ll have a reputation or I know I’ll see them he next day I go into full panic mode

  5. I came to a new school this year I haven’t made any friends. But I’m so mad at myself because so many people talked to me but I was too scared and now I’m going to high school next year all alone😖

  6. Yeah often I am mistaken for anti social disorder and I’m not judging or saying this is bad , I love all people but I see how high functioning anti socials feels when they are all made out to be crazy like . Because my very relaxed face and lack of interest (just a pushing people away teqniqe) I’m told I’m crazy or this or that and it really like hurts my feelings I feel like no one understands me like I’m not being mean or it’s not that I don’t care it’s just I don’t wanna possibly be out in a certain situation because I’m scared and also tired of dealing with certain people.

  7. Me: I should talk to that person they look bored
    Me: nuh uh. But what if they don't like me?
    My social anxiety: HURRY SCRAM!!!
    Me: YOU GOT IT!

  8. I am going to college in a few months and visited campus and met some fellow classmates. I broke down and cried when I got home because my social anxiety got the best of me and I was unable to meet anyone. A group of friends i met on Facebook are going hiking and out to eat and even took pictures that day. I felt so left out and embarrassed. I really want to be outgoing and make friends. Honestly, I hope this works.

  9. I am so so nervous for my presentation I have next week. I’m scared there going to laugh or judge me. I cried last time I did A presentation.

  10. For me I have it due to bullying from school and family, and the problem about the 1st one is that if 1 single person is rude, it will make my anxiety worse/unchanged

  11. I've dealt with people claiming to "support" mental health and movements like "Bell Let's Talk". At the same time can't recognize mental health issues and even ridicule individuals with these issues. I could only relate to people that have experienced or are experiencing it.

  12. I have not left my house in 2 years now. I find it difficult to talk to people and I just don't go out. I find the thought of going out physically sick and I am comfortable with my own company, I don't mind being alone. I think the Japanese call it:"hikikamori ".

  13. Idk if I’m socially anxious or just shy, but I’m like crazy at home, wants to share (though afraid to seem too loud) in front of close friends and anyone who falls outside these two categories, well, I basically ignore lol. Idk if it makes this weirder, but I cringe at myself for saying too much or when people stay silent after what I said more when I’m in front of friends.

  14. I always don’t get how to talk to a complete stranger about these problems when I can’t even tell my family

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