Addicted To Likes | Poppy Jamie | TEDxHollywood



who has checked their Facebook today yeah good number I have checked my facebook I've checked my Instagram my Twitter sent a few vines and I've updated my snapchat 14 times and this is what I uploaded her definitely didn't upload that no no no no no this is what I uploaded yes after I had filtered cropped and edited it and then thought for an hour about my caption hashtag blessed yes I am a self-confessed social media junkie this thing the extension of my arm I can't get away from my social life beats on here 24/7 and my work is totally dependent on it but it was only after I bumped into a lamppost for the sixth time after I was walking and texting did I really begin to consider how extreme my and my generations tech obsession has become I'm pretty sure if I do get married Siri will be doing the speech at my wedding technology has completely altered the nature quality and quantity of our social interactions never before in the history of mankind have we been this exposed to so much personal information of our friends family acquaintances and even strangers our digital identity is arguably more important than our physical one because that's what we're being judged on first who's online stored someone before meeting them trying desperately hard not to like that Instagram photo from three years back they want to include these things they've forgotten matter more than ever put it this way it was only when I changed my profile picture to a more photoshopped version of myself did my tinder account become a lot more active so the social media wave has submerged two billion people globally it's opened up communication channels Age Discovery Education on average a person has five social media accounts and they roughly spend an hour and 14 minutes browsing these networks every single day and in 2014 as study found that American college students were on these things but for about nine hours a day it's a lot so along with this huge growth in tech we've also seen another acceleration a rise in mental health problems the most socially connected generation Millennials according to the American Psychological Association are said to be the most stressed-out generation Newark Magazine stated that anxiety in young people was at an 80-year high the front of The Times newspaper in the UK a few weeks back stated teenagers were in a depression epidemic the independent said teenage depression has risen 70 percent in the past 25 years eating disorders has increased has doubled even in the past 7 years and it doesn't just stop at young people over 14 million adults in the US are said to be struggling from anxiety and stress disorders well that's all plugged in the entire time so overwhelmed by emails texts whatsapp's tumblers and Pinterest many of us haven't taken a second to consider what our new tech habits the impact our new tech habits are having on our mental well-being and overall health when studies start associating time spent on social media sites with depression it can't help but get you thinking after social media started connecting the world and we all began shrinking our highly complex lives into a series of 140 characters filtered snaps and started running our own personal accounts like advertising agencies marketing fabulous slides many of us forgot to read the attached handbook that said beware this might put your life and here's how to deal with it oh no no we all jumped on the oversharing train obliviously not really knowing knowing where is going to lead us to and many of us have been left more insecure than ever addicted to external validation and suffering from acute emotion overload unplug then that's what we need to do we just need to unplug that's the answer but what if you can't unplug what about if your work requires you to be plugged in what about if sometimes you enjoy being plugged in the question we need to explore is how do we make our plugged in lives better less toxic more healthy so I was about 14 when social media became a thing so I clearly remember what life was like before in order to compare and it has definitely made me more insecure for years my daily routine used to go as so before I had even turned on the lights I would reach my phone and start scrolling watching commenting and of course liking like that light light light light light light light light light again then I would finish what psychologically had I just done there I had gone through about 300 people validated celebrated light they're wonderfully filtered life and then returned to my unfiltered reality not taking a second to double tap or validate myself it shouldn't be called Instagram it should be called compare a gram all I was doing was absorbing information of information about everybody else's life but my own social media makes us believe life is up here the entire time but in reality life goes up and down some of us are in high some of us are in those and that's that no one posts will very few people post had a day thought was my boyfriend got a spot on my forehead of my life nello we are totally embellish inflate and make our lives look wonderful so it's unsurprising many of us feel like we need to do better be better look better just to keep up with the illusion of everyone else's life around us our increasing warped reality means our expectations for life just keep going up here and the pressure we put on ourselves just just so we're not left behind is almost suffocating social media has the ability to magnify human emotions and then slap you with them on a daily basis before you could kind of – a you wouldn't quite know what was going on and you know it was great but now FOMO has been created and intensified you know you go online and you have a little cheeky browse and then suddenly bang you see all your friends at a party and you're not invited to it and you're like oh my god they're clearly having the best night of their life and I'm not there this is a disaster I mean look I wish I could not be sucked in but you just ah I can't help myself before I know it I'm on my friends sisters mothers brothers dogs owners profile wondering why my life isn't fun is as fun as theirs all human beings need to feel supported we need to feel loved to function at our best and for the light culture is a bit dangerous because it plays into these human desires but then slightly stings you with them at the same time I'm sure some of you can relate to that moment when you've uploaded a post and you're waiting for the ticker to go up you're like oh like my photograph and there's no likes coming and you're like come on just like that photograph I mean I've gotten to the extent of calling up friends to ask them to like a post I mean could you get any more lame and by the way I will be posting about this talk afterwards and I expect you all to like no joke without realizing it we've entered without realising yet we have entered into this vicious cycle of likely of validating others and craving their validation so badly why have we become so addicted all lights are like a drop there's science behind it when you get a light this sparks a dopamine release a positive endorphin release in your brain so when you upload a post it's exciting you don't know how much interaction you're gonna get but if you don't get as much as you want you feel that you've almost lost you feel inadequate you feel deflated it doesn't matter who you are these little double taps have become an addictive currency from the most liked people on Instagram making careers out of it to innocent newbies like my mum who is a confessed tapir of social media she finally paid during my last visit home she had set up hospice profile to connect with old friends and she uploaded a picture of our dog called Wally for anyone who's interested and she was thrilled to tell me that she had got a personal best of 3 likes and I just looked at her after oh god it's only downhill from here the insta monster has captured Mt so look technology is not slowing down we are only getting more connected so to prevent us from suffering further FOMO further insecurities and further addiction we need to quickly establish a new relationship with our digital identity it is unrealistic to say everybody just unplug we are way too far in what we need to focus on is changing our mindset creating a more loving relationship with these things and hopefully by talking about these things we can prevent social media new breeze from falling down the old negative potholes so in the handbook I wish I was given before jumping online it would have said one prepare to be connected to the world it is an amazing thing if used wisely – everyone looks prettier happier and skinnier don't believe it three use it to be inspired and connected rather than to validate your life choices for people share what they want you to believe pinch of salt needed 5 upload carefully that photo of you half naked after 8 tequila's might be less funny when applying for a job noted sit be kind to people online every glossy account hides a sensitive soul struggling with their own battles 7 avoid scrolling feeds if you're feeling a bit low instead focus on what you have over what you don't 8 nurture yourself before others take time to care for you well this just be taking some deep breaths in the morning 9 choose love over likes love is doing more for friends than just double tapping photos and love for yourself is liking your own life before needing others – 10 live life or experiences not for the ground the best things in life for real and come without a filter miss we this is easier to write them to implement I'm still a work in progress but a happy one nonetheless so the next time you feel yourself waiting for the ticket to go up or the next time you're experiencing FOMO or the next time you spend an hour thinking about your caption use that moment to consider what would your hand that's it take the power back thank you

29 comments

  1. She is hot and cute 🙂 AND smart! Great talk . I quit all social media today (been thinking about it a good while) and i only use it for business purposes now if i do use it (to run ads).

  2. Just unplug from all the BS, I doubt many people have to use social media for their work, or dont get on social media on your phone, restrict it to a computer

  3. I’m social media free and still doing okay. I’m alive, I have friends, my life is richer and boy do I have a lot more time.

  4. It certainly IS realistic to 'unplug' now from electronics. In fact, it might be the only thing that is going to save anyone who is addicted to their cell phones.

  5. Wow, that's scary… before she even turned on her light in the morning, she would go right to her cell phone, go to her internet and check her Instagram messages?? She had it bad!

  6. "What if your work requires social media?" If it does get a new line of work. But it probably doesn't. Either way, don't do it.

  7. I can't believe people count on likes to determine whether what they post is nice or not. I have seen people posting pictures and videos smoking hooka in their house getting thousands of likes, and then I have seen videos of people playing Mozart songs with an instruments getting 2 likes. When I post something I post it not thinking about likes because people will not like even if it is the best picture ever for several. Society is becoming a weird place.

  8. This is…a really good TedTalk. Honestly I was expecting another middle aged white woman going on and on about how the internet is bad and how the new generation is filled with idiots. But I gotta say, this was a good breath of fresh air. Finaly someone acknowledging that the internet isn't a scary monster looking to eat your soul. It's only that if you make it that way. It can be an amazing place to discover new things and meet new people, as long as we use it wisely.

  9. Almost everyone of these TED talks about social media start with the person talking about how unhealthy it is to have a system where we crave likes and affirmation and instead of saying, "We need to go back to a more normal form of social interaction and communication." they say, "We can't go back so we need to reestablish how we do our online life."

    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! We need to cut the cord!! You can't manage this! It causes anxiety and depression not because we are doing it wrong, but because the system itself causes it. You can't change it! You can't manage it. You're trying to have it both ways and it can't be that way.

  10. Where can I find this with Portuguese subtitles? I wish I could share it so more people can have access to it.

  11. This chick made a few good points but SHE has some serious mental health addition issues.  Telling everything she is going to post about her TED talk afterwards and she expects everyone to "like" her post.  That's​ ridiculous.  "We cant just unplug, we are way to far in"  NO, that is false.  That is absolute nonsense.  You can easily unplug and there's nothing wrong with that.  SHE is way to far in.

  12. Poppy I think we should be friends 😊 I'm a therapist working with young people in England and I see the effects of what you are saying everyday. I'd love to do some work together, I can be your geeky friend 😀 x

  13. I don't have a cell phone and I have never been on any of those social media sites lol. I just walk around shaking my head at all the nerds walking around with their head down staring at their phone all day.

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