Anxiety Attack At 33 Thousand Feet – Fundraiser 10 | Kirstie Bryce



and then out of nowhere the plane dropped and a way that I was certain that this plane was just gonna keep dropping hello hi and welcome to another installment of my mental health awareness and suicide prevention fundraiser series for the tryi called here for you if you've never seen these videos before and you don't know what I'm talking about don't click off please give them a chance if you want some more information about what I'm doing with us fundraiser then there's some more information about the charity that I'm doing it for in the description as well as a link to the Jess Kevin page where you can donate to and also there's some more information over there as well in this video I'm going to be talking about something that I have been loving with I don't want to say dealing with loving worth for a lull well no and that is anxiety you know if you've heard the word anxiety and you're getting a little bit frustrated by it already I completely understand there is people out there that use anxiety as an attention-seeking mechanism there are people who use anxiety as an excuse for views to appear relatable in some way and there's also people who self diagnosed anxiety but I'm not one of those people so you can relax with me okay I was fully diagnosed with having anxiety disorders when I was 19 and my three now so cut them for a couple of years and I believed that I had them before I was diagnosed just given things that I topped through with my counselors and such that seems to pretty much be the case as you may have guessed from what I said about speaking at a massage and stuff I have had treatment for my anxiety initially I got a short course of EMDR therapy which is a movement desensitization and reprocessing Nantz essentially an eye movement technique that is used to take energies that and full twit your mind on voluntarily and then move them to a space in the brain where they can't you know spring up on you and the scene where they're not as intrusive you know they only come up and the feelings related to them only come up in the body sensations related to them only come up if you think about them actively so I had that I had talked therapy and then I also had cognitive behavioral therapy that's the one that I had for the longest I had it for about six months and then I was over treatment and then I had again for over a year and then I have just briefly gone back for a couple of sessions just like things I'm just gonna check up and make sure that I have the techniques that I need the two people I deal with things on my own when they happen which is great so anxiety attacks they take many different forms anxiety can present in so many different ways that I don't want I want to clarify that right now I'm not saying that this is the only cut-and-dry like cookie cutter mold of this is her anxiety it can go this is what it will look like this is what they'll experience this is what they'll think and feel no doesn't work like that I'm gonna be talking about how anxiety presents for me and some cases obviously I can't cover everything because we'll be here all day and ain't nobody cabinet I'll talk about what I've thought and felt well I feel anxious and well I've had pretty bad anxiety attacks I'll talk about the symptoms that I get how they present themselves in some cases and it's all gonna pertain to my own individual situation I'm not saying that someone who doesn't feel or think or go through these things doesn't have anxiety they do it just presents itself in an entirely different way in this video I'm actually going to be talking about one particular anxiety attack that I had and as you can see from the title you know what I'm talking about for me anxiety attacks aren't they're not I mean they're not great in the best of times are they they're just horrible they're horrible to see I hate being around people when they happen I'm like I just feel so horrible because they can be quite like shocking to see they're horrible to feel and to go through and just when you think you've had your worst one and you can't get any worse you have one at 33,000 feet and bad turbulence before I get into the details of that specific anxiety attack let's backtrack a little bit like a lot of people who have anxiety main house triggers I'm very fortunate to be very aware of those triggers and to be able to identify some of them but you're always gonna be in situations where you can't predict things fully and you can't see a tracker coming so you can't really deal with it until you're confronted with it and it really just depends then how significant the trigger was how quickly the onset of anxiety attack is are you then able to Reena n or is it all just gonna come out and you just need to do your absolute best to deal with it as it comes again that's a speaking in my case for me my triggers are necessarily particular they can vary quite a lot which is quite difficult but it's more the emojis and thoughts and feelings and body sensations that come as a result of something happening I'll give you an example of something that seems really trivial but it had such a significant impact I was at rock climbing with my boyfriend and I was pretty much like halfway to three-quarters of the way up the wall right I have a fear of falling so me doing rock climbing is a good way for me to naturally get a hold of fear because my anxiety has nothing to do with fear I can handle that separately and nor that anxiety is not going to come into it that is fightin so there was half way three-quarters the way up this wall I'm pretty much the highest that I had ever been for a long time but claimants will feel a really pro to myself I was in a really positive mindset and then out of nowhere the rope can have jerked around quite a chunky hold above my head and it made this really like jerk noise it wasn't that the rope jerked and I went down a little bit it was just the noise and to me it signaled all these types of things in my head and it signaled like a rope jerk in um when you see someone falling I think you can pretty much get a sense of what I'm saying it wasn't like a voluntary thought it was just like an image in my head and I was just like so that was one of my triggers that it was just an unforeseeable trigger typically I can tell if an anxiety attack is coming efforts something that's happened relatively quickly I will know instantly what to expect my bodies to do and I will know instantly to expect what my body is gonna feel there are also people around me who are in the possession now where they know pretty much what my body goes through and the stages that my anxiety attacks go through and they'll be able to know what to do at each of those stages which I thank them for unbelievably so so the first thing that typically goes for me is movement I find that my movement is either limited or in that moment what I perceive to be impossible I feel like I can't move after that my breathing starts to go it gets very very rushed and then it gets very gasping and very tight in my chest and I struggle to you know really regulate that if it gets to a point and that's where I may need help other times I've been able to regulate myself though and that is great the next thing that I start to experience mildly is pens and needle a tape feelings and my hands feet and face particularly around this part and going into my mouth I'll find that when I get an anxiety attack my mouth will start to do this and it will close up and obviously when your mouth does this and everything's really tense it's even harder to breathe with the pens and needles um that kind of escalates and to cramp on my hands wall sometimes kweilyn eventually get into something resembling that kind of position you know when your feet cramp up licking your toes cramp up and they can occur and like sometimes want to lick go over the other in the liquor line and you you can't move them imagine that and and your hands as well as your feet I'm also with my mouth I'll try and like open my mouth to breathe properly and it's like you can't you can't stretch it's like an elastic bands being pulled and it's tight into my mouth and I can't release that next thing that I'll know to expect as I will feel cold I will go from feeling a regular temperature or really really warm to cold now I've never had a thermometer nearby when I've had an anxiety attack you know I mean I just I don't I don't go oh I can I can I can feel anxiety attack come and let me go get my thermometer so I don't actually know if my body temperature actually goes then I just know that I feel like it's gone down I feel cold after that those symptoms pretty much continue to the point where my lungs do start to get very very sore I sometimes you know when someone has that kind of budget where they like bones their foot up and down underneath the desk I feel like I'm mildly moving the camera but after that continues for a couple of minutes my body temperature at least how I feel my body temperature has changes again and skyrockets I feel so warm no matter whether I'm wearing a shorts and t-shirt I could be on a freaking bikini or if I meant a pair of course of jammies it will do the exact same and I will feel the see after that my body starts to sweat a lot I find that that's also maybe an early indicator in some cases I found that sweating has sometimes come before the the inability to move in my movement being limited and also the reason changing sometimes it's an early symptom typically though it does come with me feeling warmer after that I pretty much continues until I get through it things are really helpful for me as someone to do some kind of tapping or for me to try and do some kind of tapping for example my laptop keeps falling down this idea an example on this part of your hand if you just do a gentle tap or I sometimes feel here it's also quite helpful or here if I just do a gentle tap then I can sometimes feel like you know I can keep I can try and keep time with that and then try and get my breathing to correspond with that so just to try and like regularly obviously I wouldn't over something that fast but that's just to show you as an example another thing that's really helpful is um someone to help me try and get movement back into my hands I'm typically when these happen I'm wearing shoes you can't really help that with your feet I'll just try and flex my feet on my own but my hands I tend to need a lot but hilt worth if it gets at that point so just trying to you know uncoil the hands and stretch them a little bit they will probably come back in and I will probably make some kinda noise to see like how that works but I know that I need to do it so and I know that it's gonna be better in the long run so that's like and also just someone being there I find really helpful you know I've been in situations where I have had tough anxiety attacks on my own and I've dealt with them on my own and I've I've survived but someone being there especially for someone who knows you and knows what you go through and knows how it typically presents for you and my experience there over faster or sometimes stopped in their tracks before they even escalate through all those symptoms so you never know after an anxiety attack I feel like I've been hit by a bus I feel drained I feel exhausted not unlike the desi lightheaded can I wait just the lake my body is so done and I do occasionally feel tired as a result of that or just like I want to lie down and rest for a little while so we've covered triggers symptoms coping mechanisms that I think just for journaling zakat sack and also her I feel afterwards let's talk about what I would probably see is up there and and my top five of worst anxiety attacks I've ever had I was flying down to see my boyfriend and I was on plane I don't have any problem flying flying is not something I'm afraid of so I want to knock that out the park real quick I've been on flights that range from like 40 minutes to 16 hours I've been through turbulence before and you get through obviously have those we jerks where you're like oh I gave me a Weber wee bit of a funky feeling I might tell me there can we can we slow down and see biscuits I'm not afraid of flying so to clarify again anxiety and I incite attack and feeling panicked does not enter Kate fear but anyway we were on the plane and out of nowhere we had probably the worst turbulence I've ever been through the plane was full-and going down and up to the side the ero assesses that were walking around at the time that the turbulence hit were nearly like fallen and holding on to the chairs I'm actually got to the point where one of them a few doors in front of me just held onto the chairs and kind of kneeled a little bit down because it was safe referred to do that and brace for the turbulence rather than trying to get to her seat I was pretty much just sitting there listening to my music at the time and I was just trying to zoning out like I was just like it's fine it's fine that occasional like in my belly but other not it's fine and then out of nowhere the plane dropped and a way that I was certain that this plane was just gonna keep dropping it was like it was fast but it felt like it went on forever and then there was a jerk and again similar imagery similar thoughts and as you can imagine it's skyrocketed from there everything I think this is might be one of the fastest times that my body's gone through so many symptoms at this point the turbulence was still ongoing and when my breathing started to go and I felt like I couldn't move my hands already started to coil my legs were already shaking I really couldn't breathe I was jerking my head back because like the the turbulence was like walking us back and forth a little bit so fact that my chin and it was even gonna further compress my chest so I was leaning my head back and then I was like there was a call button and I tried to raise my arm and I couldn't feel it me as my arm and blesser the woman that was sitting next to me who I did not know there was an empty seat and then her she reached up and pushed the button for me and she moved over and to the other seat and instantly put a belt back on don't panic she just wanted to get closer to me because she could clearly see there was something wrong she instantly tried to take my hands and I don't know if my base she knew someone I never actually got the opportunity to speak to her afterwards I watched shame because I can only imagine how scary that must have seemed for her but she instantly took my hands and started saying they okay like I know you can't breathe right now I know your fingers aren't really really hard but I need you to try I need you to try with everything that you've got to try get your breathing under control because everything will come after that and she was just really really great with her she talked through it like she she must know someone who's gone through something somewhere I I swear I got really lucky with who I was sitting next to after that the turbulence started to subside a little it was still pretty much ongoing and we got on a message from the pilot that that was going to be the case but that was so far out the back of my mind was concentrating on it I was too busy thinking about all my god I'm sweating buckets my can't breathing and then at this point someone from the Ryanair staff it was right now no law and I know a lot of people have opinions on Ryanair staff and I've had my clear rant about them in the past okay but in this particular situation their staff where phenomenal I've had my fair share of anxiety attacks around no one that I know and it's had to be complete strangers have had to step in and help this was the best response I have ever had tonight's I attack the air hostess came down and she asked the woman if she would move into the other seats where she could come and sit next to me and then eventually got to the point where she had to move the reserved spare seat a funeral was back and she moved and sat there and she doesn't have any problem with that the best woman was next to me and she pretty much just started to ask me questions to try and get me to answer them so that that would you know speaking would regulate my breathing to some extent and she flagged another plate attendant to come down and was just kind of speaking to them but all the time kind of looking back at me and just seemed like just keep breathing with me you're fine it's okay so that's other person win I didn't know I wasn't really paying attention it wasn't till they came back that I realized she'd asked this person to go and get things for her this woman was so on point she got a blanket because she knew that body temp song teams go down she got a cup of ice because she knows that body temp sometimes go up she got water because sometimes drinking fluids can help encourage like the regulation of breathing and she also brought a tank of oxygen and an oxygen mask because she knew that effort was getting to the point that I really couldn't regulate my breathing given the pressure in the plane I might need it she knew all this she knew how to respond to all this and I know that people may think oh that's really basic stuff for someone to to bring in that situation but as far as she knew I wasn't having a medical emergency I could have just been really really frightened to the turbulence but she was able to hear me sing anxiety and be like I know I got this I'm on this absolutely amazing and I smile about it now obviously it was not a great experience to go throughout thank you a million times I thanked her at the end of the flight when we landed I gave her a hug and I was like you're incredible like on behalf of everyone that's ever had to deal with an anxiety attack and an unfortunate situation you're incredible and we thank you because oh my god so anyway I got the oxygen mask on my breathing came back a lot better and they spoke to someone at the front of the plane and wasn't basically asked would someone be willing to move so that I could be closer to the flight attendants and just in case anthem happens again so she could get to me quicker at this point I wasn't really sure if I wanted to move because one my lunch really really hurt and two people around the plane as you can imagine we're all looking at me and I would not be surprised if some SEC editor has a video of me on there falling somewhere okay so I was just really worried about people looking at me because I know the misconceptions that people have and then instantly in my head after things started to countdown and I was definitely coming out the other side of it I was like oh God all these people are gonna think that I'm someone who just like was really frightened of turbulence like and it's just such a poxy little thing like oh my god they have no idea what my body and my hair just experienced they have no idea and I can't go through this plane and tell them all individually like what am I supposed to do and just like hey by the way see that like a weird funky look that you were giving me earlier having anxiety it's I have a nice life so eventually I did get up and they moved my back to the front of the plane and I sat down and the woman that was next to me she basically turned round and was like you know there's really nothing to be frightened of like it's fun and she just looked very judgmental and her tone was just horrible and just not nice at all and I clammed up had I not just had that experience that I've had I would have been like sure you do not want to speak to me like that and I would have told her exactly what was on my mind but at that point in time I was just like I'm try for kiss I'm just like just just being here at the moment so sure but the flight attendant that was sitting in her seat her like faulty down seat just in front of the front row actually leaned forward and said it's an anxiety attack she's not frightened to the plane at all and she looked at me and went are you and I was like no and she smelled it in she was like no seasoned fire she's not frightened of the turbulence and I was like my god and my corner or what she wasn't doing it to be cheeky but I think she was just being like there's no reason for you to be the snarky way and I know that someone you were sitting next to volunteered to move their seat and oh you make me really peeves about that but they're a great human being you're not being your best self at the moment so maybe you should just check that and appreciate that you maybe don't nor the fill entirety of every situation you confront and like and this is one of them bye-bye but as I said we made it there safely I gave the flight attendant a hug I thanked the other ones that were there to help and got things and it was just really really amazing and they were just great Olin just really really great so I thank them it helps me get my bag off the plane they asked if I would need any help they were like her you feeling okay do you want someone to walk in with you and I was like no I'm absolutely fine thank you so much for everything that you've done and I actually really can hold that I'm on another flight someday and I get to see them again just like you are amazing so yeah that is my little story about my horn playing sigh it's a cat 33,000 feet there are some things I want to cover quickly just before I wrap the video up and if you are dealing with anxiety in any way whether it presents in ways that are similar to ones I just talked about whether it's entirely different whether it's related to trauma like mine or you have triggers or if it's something completely different if you deal with it in any way shape or form basically here's some things that I encourage you to do talk about it for one it sounds really really simple even just talking about it out loud like if you feel yourself feeling anxious talking yourself through it out loads can actually be really therapeutic and I really want to encourage self help with anxiety because a lot of people seem to thank that you know unique treatment for anxiety and yes I did get professional treatment for my anxiety but that was related to a lot of other stuff anxiety was like like the sidekick to a lot of other stuff that was going on there so that's the only reason I was able to get that kind of professional one-to-one help and if you need that ask great that is fine absolutely you do what is best for you but but don't feel like it's the only way that you can get help or help yourself or just talk to people about what you feel what your experience and maybe start to make a little bit of a note about when they can a comment a plea and then maybe look at what the similarities are remember you can identify your triggers there's just loads of things that you can do there's lots of self-help books about managing your anxiety and taking control of that part of it obviously there are going to be situations like I said where you do need more than that you do need to speak to someone about it but self-help is a really powerful thing and I don't want that to go unnoticed another thing I'm gonna say is be patient like obviously there's a difference between being patient and setting back and not doing anything to help yourself and I know that sounds really really harsh but it can be relatively easy to just sit back and say it's a part of my life myth you know I felt like that for a little while but see once you actively work every single day and that's another thing like work consistently on it I try every single day and I will confront situations probably every single day where I have to remind myself about my breathing whether it's related to an anxiety attack or not even just something as simple as that can be really great so being mindful about yourself and your body and being very self aware and taking the time to understand your anxiety can make all the difference because knowledge is power that I've never had such a true saying about mental health and my life knowledge as power the more you work to know about yourself and your anxiety and how you experience it my um the more power you're gonna have to confront it and I think that's everything I want to talk about I'm starting to get sore throat again yeah also if you enjoyed this video please remember to give it a big one of these and don't forget to visit the link and the top lane in the description that teacher to the just given page where you can donate to hear for you I know I said the informations and the description at the start of this video I will quickly briefly mention that at the suicide prevention mental awareness and counseling charity they offer free counseling over the phone or in person and they also offer meetings to people who need it people who have been bereaved by suicide families and friends of someone who is experiencing suicidal thoughts has attempted suicide or someone who's and the possession where they have feel or are feeling suicidal it's a great charity the Germans I've had experience with them personally after use money for them before and I really could not think of another worthy cause to really put this work and to but not a lot of people know about them so the money that we raise is gonna go towards outreach and maybe more people who need help can get it but other than that I'm done if you want to see the rest of my mental health awareness videos they are down in that playlist right down there the link to donate is in the top way in the description of all of my videos over the past nearly a year at this point also if you want to see something else I don't know I'll put a video or a playlist or something up there mm-hmm also subscribe if you haven't already for more content like this horror movie trailer reactions and breakdowns movie reviews comedy stuff more randomness subscribe stick around but great fun we'll have a good day other nuts much love you guys and I'll see you all very soon bye bye

15 comments

  1. This was so deep! Thank you for sharing your personal experience, Kirstie! πŸ™
    It is greatly appreciated, and I can say I learned something today!
    If I ever encounter someone going through any similar symptoms like you, now I have a better understanding on how to react.

    People speculate on the power of prayer, but I'm an open minded individual and I believe prayers do get heard. That being said, I'll pray for you in regards to your anxiety symptoms!
    Thanks again for sharing, take care! ✊❀

  2. As a fellow anxiety suffer and somebody who has dealt with awful panic attacks that have sent me to an emergency room, you definitely have my sympathy. 😞 all of your symptoms are basically the fight or flight response, and there are dozens upon dozens of symptoms that anybody can feel during a panic attack and they feed into themselves.

    I feel like I could type a 4000 word response to this and I’m only halfway through watching the video. I’ll be merciful and spare you. 😜

    Hang in there.

  3. A similar situation happened to me on my flight home from camp last year definitely not as severe as your story but it’s definitely shaken me up, so thank you for sharing ❀️

  4. Thanks once more, love, for being so honest and awesome! ❀ Daresay your guardian angel appointed you a seatmate who must've been a psych nurse or other medically trained responder – you had a phenomenally responsive team, the kind that should be on every flight, really. Of course, people could always board without their smug judgement of other people's vulnerability, right?? 😣

    Panic attacks are truly no joke at all – and all the symptoms you mentioned seem very typical. The whole phenomenon is like a microcosm of what happens with PTSD, in a sense, minus (I guess) the clearly defined origin in trauma. I've so far not had the kind of 'struck by lightning' kind of attack you describe. I have had various 'attacks' on my emotional equilibrium, but, like you say, the true anxiety/panic attach seems to lurch straight from the body and the nerves, not the mind or the emotion of the moment. You make me want to go get First Responder training over here, so I will no what to do (and not to do) if somebody has a panic attack and needs the right help on the spot.

  5. I absolutely love ya girl , I had this on plane to Dublin last August it was my first ever time on plane myself but not scared of flying I think I was panic coz never been on my own , but I couldn’t feel my hands either and my breathing went fast! And it was rayair too and they where fabulous hun so thank as always and as you no being so inspirational to me xxxx

  6. I had a similar (although less intense) experience on a flight. I live in Denver, Colorado. I was once on a flight out of DIA to the airport in Munich, and as the plane reached its cruising altitude, it entered a brief state of freefall. I had just enough time to think, "Oh my god! We're-" and then the plane righted itself. I initially figured it was a brief atmospheric phenomenon, but then on the return trip, it happened again, in much the same part of the sky.

  7. I have just the opposite problem. I've been diagnosed with clinical depression. It surprised me when I first heard about it, but as I learned more and more about it, the more it became clear that, for the longest time, I've had it and compensated for it without actually recognizing it.
    It was a consistent stumbling block, in the Navy, that I had to get up an hour before my roommates, just to make sure I had everything all set to go for the day. If this happened once in a while, one could chock it up to anomaly, but for me, it happened every single day and I never recognized it. It's the damndest thing. I compensated for it (in as much as I had the ability) without recognizing it.
    It probably has something to do with public misconception about this phenomenon. Depression is not a form of sadness. It's a lack of emotion. It's the chronic inability to get motivated.

  8. Ayeee i was deployed last october up until april and i had some moments after hearing bombs going off or moments during work that stressed me out. I'm usually quite reserved and quite but after all that stress i would start opening up and my coworkers notice i seemed more energetic and happy but really i was freaking out most of the time. Even after we left the people who didn't deploy said i was more outgoing but i feel miserable. Glad you made this because i never really thought of mental health before these videos.

  9. I feel what you felt in that plane, I used to love to fly and the more I flew, the more uncomfortable I got until I flew into Reno once. It is always a bit of a roller coaster ride into the airport (it is about at a mile altitude), the last time I flew there the plane did that large drop and it felt like it was going to crash, It was like having the bottom fell out, the flight attendants continued to move through the cabin, even though it continued for quite a while, they did an excellent job calming people, including one lady who was obviously going through a serious anxiety attack and pretty much did for her what your attendant did for you, the only difference was, the lady needed assistance leaving the plane, so they delayed us from deplaning until she was helped off. I think some people people take it for granted about what the flight attendants do (and though the attendant was talking to the lady, hearing the calming way she was dealing with the other passenger, I felt myself being able to breath). . . .I seriously believe if I could find that plane, I could find my seat because I gripped that ends of the arm rests so tightly that I am sure my hand prints are still embedded in them. When the pilot finally landed, the passengers actually applauded and cheered. . . I no longer go anywhere if I can't drive to get there, so my trip to Scotland will have to wait until they build that Trans-Atlantic Highway. Keep doing what you are doing, it is nice to know that no one is alone in this πŸ‘πŸ‘

  10. I was diagnosed with PTSD a couple of years ago and Anxiety does come with that. I had Cognitive Behavioural Therapy which really helped. I no longer have as many flashbacks or negative dreams from the past. I still get them, but I have the tools to cope with it now. I have my mental health toolbox. I go to find something funny to release endorphins and until I laugh I keep watching something funny. I then go and look at something that makes me happy, like pictures of my children. I then go to my most favourite smell which is Bergamot. That brings my anxiety level right down. If I don't have that tool box to hand, if I am out, I have used EFT Tapping Technique to bring that back down. I am so glad to hear you have something to help you too. xx

    I spoke about it nationally in the paper, about what happened to me. Here it is. I am much better now than I ever was before. Although this week has hit me like a tonne of bricks and no clear indicators, no clear triggers as to why my body feels done in. I have been trying to get a job and I never put down my mental health issues, because I do think there is a stigma still attached. It's bad enough I am 20 years older than my oldest child, trying to get back into the workforce when she has more of a chance (apprenticeships etc) because she is young. Now wishing I got my act together earlier. Anyhoo here is the link to that article. xx *** TRIGGER WARNING for CSA Survivors ***
    https://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/scottish-news/girl-abused-jehovahs-witness-dad-10370979

  11. Great video. Thank you for sharing your experience. I wish I had a fraction of your confidence to share my experience with my own mental illnesses.

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