Clinical depression: Lawrence's story | NHS



I realized I wasn't coping at work but I was in denial about that I was in a stressful job I had a lot of responsibilities and my defense mechanism was it'll just all it'll all pass law continue what you're doing it's just a little bit of stress you're experiencing and it'll all pass in time with the depression my thoughts were very negative which is often the case with depression everything in the world is seen in a negative light I was feeling that I wasn't doing my job properly my self-esteem wasn't as high my confidence level had been affected decision-making where I would normally make decisions and stick by them I was then questioning the decisions I was making was I making the right decision which wasn't normally something I would do sleeping was affected during the night I would wake up ruminating as we call it in mental health terminology all the certain things negative things when I was in a room with people in a meeting I was feeling very anxious I was having panic attack sensations so then I wonder whether other people were noticing that in me you know the junior members of staff at the time were there realizing that I was struggling with my emotions because of the way I was behaving going to my office closing the door and just hoping that things would go away but of course it didn't go away it just got worse at the point when I realized that I needed help was a meeting with my manager and she could see that I was struggling to be with some of the issues we were talking about and she said law I don't think you well basically I think you need to seek help deep down I knew that anyway and it but it probably took some body to say it after me and the manager at the time was probably the right person to say that started feeling a change probably after about two weeks of taking the medication so I then attributed that to the medication I felt right with Moore's antidepressant medications we takes two to three weeks we just are having a therapeutic effect so in my own mind I knew that my I was conscious my mood was changing I was enjoying things more and I was I was having less negative thoughts I wasn't feeling so negative about myself and different things so after about two weeks I noticed I was changing and things were starting to improve I feel I've become a stronger person because I took time off work and I accepted what the problems were and I dealt with them in the appropriate manner and now I'm more insightful now as to what keeps me well so I can spot the trigger signs a lot sooner now and I'll act upon them if I feel I'm getting stressed now I know what to do in order to to act upon my mental illness can happen to one in four of the population so if it can happen to me as a psychiatric nurse it can happen to anybody for more information visit www.hsn.com

4 comments

  1. It didn't say if you were to the point of suicidal thoughts , or spending days in bed not eating or drinking, which most people with clinical depression suffer from on a regular basis, even with medication.

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