Connor's Battle with Pills to Heroin | True Stories of Addiction | Detox To Rehab



my name is Connor I'm a heroin addict I remember the first time that that I got high right I was in seventh grade and the plan was to smoke weed and then go to school one of the friends I was there with he had a pipe and they were all hitting it and I remember hitting it and nothing happened to me and I didn't get high but I remember watching them and they were having such a good time I wanted that connection and I hit the pipe again and I got high this time and I remember my mom picked me up after that and I was all worried and I could tell like she's getting suspicious the next day I wake up and she's like we're gonna go take a drug test and I lied to her and we still go take the drug test I was freaking out for a couple days waiting for the results and they came back negative she's like I appreciate you telling the truth and I knew that I lied to her and so I continued to smoke weed I think that was seventh grade and drinking and smoking weed became the center of everything that I wanted to do my grades fell so much that I had to drop out and my mom's like you have to go to this military school type thing and she's like you have to pass a drug test to go I kept smoking weed I kept drinking and the time came where I had to take this drug test I failed the drug test that you're supposed to pass and they let me in anyway I was like damn it but they take me in and they shaved my head and all this stuff and I ended up doing really well immediately after I got out of this program I kind of fell into hanging out with those same kind of people they kept going into the bathroom right and spending a couple minutes in the bathroom and coming out and and I could see a difference in their eyes when they came out right and they were falling asleep I'm like what are you guys doing you know I know you're doing something they're not just smoking weed and they're like well you know we're smoking percocets so I was like let me let me get some of that and I just remember like everything kind of fallen away you know what I mean there wasn't worries I didn't really think about too much else besides how good I felt so I continue to do it I started spending all my money on pills and the consequences came back right I started failing in school again I started stealing more and taking all these actions that help me get high so at some point I ran into a few more friends who had graduated from pills and they're smoking something else off a tin foil and so you know I start smoking heroin and the heroin just just takes over completely immediately I'm stealing and I start going to jail and my family doesn't really talk to me anymore they know something's going on I avoid any kind of family outing I'm not going to birthday parties I'm not going to I'm definitely not going to school at this point right I start going to jail more on those one nights don't turn to One Nights anymore and just experiencing all these consequences and I start shooting heroin and I did that for about a year and I'm accounting for probation and it doesn't matter what's going on in my life I'm gonna get out of jail and I'm gonna go I remember my mom coming to visit me and and family friends coming to visit me and high school teachers coming to visit me and these people that I didn't even know cared about me this much they're like are you gonna get your shit together you know I don't want to get high but you don't understand what it's like to be afraid of yourself to know that no matter what you do you're going to get high again and burn down everything around you I spend the rest of my time in jail and I get out and I do my best right it's about six hours and I find what's left of a wine bottle in the fridge I finish it off and I get on Facebook immediately and I'm talking to people I shouldn't be talking to you immediately and this is just after I told myself that I wasn't gonna associate with these people I wasn't gonna drink I wasn't gonna get high and immediately I'm doing all these things and so I'm smoking heroin again right and all these things are going on in my head like you know they reinstated my probation I'm not gonna be able to pass a drug test to save my life I'm already I've already drank smoked weed and done heroin my mom had let me back in the house and I wake up the next morning and she you know she finds a bag right next to me a bag of heroin and tinfoil and she's like get out you know immediately she's like you have to go I cannot do this anymore I've tried so many times to help you to give you consequences to do whatever I can to help you get sober and you just shit on me I just can't stop you know there's nothing that's gonna stop me and she's like get out I called a friend of mine he's selling heroin at the time and he picks me up and and we go get some acid right because I've got so much going on in my life that I need something else to distract me so I get acid and we do acid I was having a good time for a couple hours right my problems fell away again and I start coming off of it and my friend loads up his spoon you know and I see it and I'm thinking back to that rush I'm like load me up 1 2 I woke up in the hospital I'm thinking like I'm gonna go back to jail I almost died just now and I don't even care it doesn't even cross my mind I'm just worried about going back to jail I still have a key to my mom's and somehow I get home and I fall asleep on the couch again I wake up to her looking at my my wrist and I've got a hospital band on I look like crap and she's like what happened and I tell her you know I overdosed and I can tell that she believes that her son is gonna die yeah and there's nothing absolutely nothing that she can do about it she's like you have to call this halfway house and go there and at this point I'm like I'll do whatever it takes to stay sober so they take me in and there's probably like 60 70 other guys at this halfway house and they're drug addicts and alcoholics and they get high and they drink the same way that I do and it was comforting to get that connection and to feel like I wasn't the only one out there for these people to be sober and happy at the same time and I'm seeing this coming in I'm like this is crazy so I did those things I went to a meeting every day I got a sponsor that man is still my sponsor today I worked the 12 steps with him and they guide me into having an experience that has given me an incredible life I have true friends you know and I don't have to be afraid of what they think about me I can go to them with anything right I have a connection with a power that's definitely greater than myself and my life has turned around completely right I went from absolutely nothing to having a life that I didn't think I could doing normal things right playing basketball with friends going to movies sitting and having a real conversation with somebody you know going out to dinner for for celebrations and like just things that I had no idea that people even did and now I'm a part of it in and I have a family in recovery and these these are people that I can tell anything to I truly love them and I owe them my life and they kind of lead me into giving back and going back to those places where you went to meetings and you talked to these people that helped you out and guided you and led you and being that guide to other people and so I try to reach my hand out wherever I can and to be someone that can motivate somebody else to want to stay sober and to convey that you can be sober and happy at the same time I don't experience that constant obsession of I have to get hot or I have to not get high it's just not there and I've got that connection with a higher power and I have people I can rely on and they love me and I love them more than anything for someone that's suffering you just have to do the work and have your own experience and these things aren't difficult it's writing some stuff down on paper it's taking actions it you know what I mean moving your body to go to a meeting these things are not as hard as we make them in our mind these thoughts and these crazy things that go on inside of our head it's not always real you don't have to be afraid of what these people think of you or or whatever else it's a life that comes about because of positive action you know what I mean and doing these things can can increase the value in your life and you can open up and be honest with people and not have to be afraid and and live a life full of connections with other human beings you

43 comments

  1. 'To see people sober and happy, that is crazy.' That's it exactly. Although I'm sober now, it still boggles the mind of an addict how one can achieve happiness through sobreity. When you are accustomed to only achieving contentment through intoxication, the notion that one can be at peace with themselves and with life becomes unfathomable. Only other addicts can understand this. I am starting to get glimpses of happiness back but it's a slow process. People who have never touched hard drugs simply can never understand our persepctive. It's not as though we don't know the dangers of getting involved with this stuff, it's just that when you're so down, full of anxiety, guilt, anger and you feel so lacking in hope, to the extent that death would be a blessing, strong drugs like heroin is the perfect solution. I'm about the same age as this guy. I was more into pills than heroin and I never resorted to stealing and never used a needle. Not that any of that matters anyway, I have lied so much to both myself and everyone around me that I even began to believe my own lies. I am still trying to gain people's trust again. That being said, I have learned from this experience. I believe I'm more open-minded and compassionate as a result of my illness. I am now trying to contribute back to society in my own way. I hope this guy is still doing okay.

  2. weed is not a gateway… weed can actually help with addictions!!!!! Marijuana is beautiful,, smoke weed only weed

  3. Hey folks. I truly found two big pieces helped me.
    1. People, places and things. Unequivocally nobody. If they’re involved in drugs in any way — stay away.
    2. This is the biggest for me. As an addict, you are not supposed to win. That bothered me. You’re supposed to keep fucking up and I didn’t wanna be that 95%. I wanted to be the guy who rebounded and so far, 2008, I have.

  4. In the 60's 70's the blacks people use Heroin.This children of it had to go through horror torments and tell their children.never stop heroin it ruins your whole live.you can see it today almost only white people Heroin.the black ones probably learned from it

  5. Same thing happend to me grades are bad dropped out going to a military school can’t stop smoking weed shits crazy

  6. people smoke percocet? .. I was never a pill person. I went from drinking and taking a shitload of ecstasy straight to heroin. It's had me in it's death grip for almost 10 years now. I fucking hate it. But … I love it cause it feels it's the only thing that gives a shit about me… sounds weird I know but that's jus how I feel.

  7. Pills for a decade. Luckily I had a strong will against heroin but if say I had another year and I'd be on heroin. Clean for 7-8 years now but the next step is getting off the subs.

  8. 19 year old heroin and meth addict clean & sober for 7 months. Only person who had pure hope for me was my mother, everyone else had lost all hope for me. You can recover. There is a solution and it will be okay ❤️

  9. Y does every one who gets hooked on hard drugs like Heroin and crack always act like it’s the Cannabis’s Fault just a
    Poor Excuse it’s the individuals Fault u know as soon as u hit that pipe or get that Tinfoil out and chase that dragon it’s not gonna end well before u know it u searching for a vain sharein Needles .. I’ve got a problem with coke sniffing it and I like weed but always promised myself Heroin crack never gonna touch it y because I know that I would probably fuckin love it u know the trouble that stuff gets you in u see it from the people that use it look at the State They are in just don’t get y u would start taking that shit when the storyline is Already there u become a junkie like I said i use drugs I’m not gonna lie I’m probably got a Cocaine habit or problem but I can go without it not getting sick if I don’t do it like Heroin crack Addicks Have to go though it’s people that choose to go down that road not the other drugs they used before they become Addicted to heroin they chose to pick up that Needle it’s your fault don’t be blaming weed or u started doing Heroin because it blokes the pain of a shit Childhood or the shit cards u was delt that’s all lies they tell them self that and end up believe in it It’s an excuse People fuck up their own life addiction its a sickness well u Happily went along and decided to be sick addicted just stop blaming weed as the gateway to hard drugs You are the gateway to what you do if you open the gate you chose that life stop Stop saying they’re sick they did To them self to stop pussyfooting around and tell them straight fax it’s your fault u decided to take it u Knows what it had in store for you Addiction You chosen to be an addict

  10. Uuu lookkk great Connor…..Congrats….I was introduced to pills 4 yrs ago….struggle of lifetime….but I'm trying to live ma best life now….it exist….but no one gets wat we fill….the cravings will always be there…n the old using friends will always be there….its alllll on uuuuuu if u go right or left….🖤

  11. idk why you guys are al saying he looks good wtf

    his teeth are gross and messed up, and his body is shaped weird (3:49)

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