(inhale) try to calm anxious hands it starts with this i watch myself stand in the bathroom mirror feel the contours of my face oils and dirt against fingertips and bumps embedded into my flesh i want them gone rub the abnormalities to erase them but to no avail rubbing turns to scratching and scratching turns to picking my nails clutch onto raised skin it catches and pulls opening the wound like a curtain wincing through the pain open flesh stings, exposed (repetition) (blood pulsates) i can’t stop my skin is raw (tender) i only wanted soft, smooth skin what happened? (heavy breathing) (mortification) irritation expands into a pink smear i want to stop someone stop this isn’t working it never works i’ll never be satisfied i’ll tear her skin off completely if i can until my face is raw muscle upon bone i’ll never be satisfied i’ll never be satisfied

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