Disney Couples Therapy: Session Two

– I mean, it would just be nice if I could just, you know, come home from work. – Oh, I didn’t know that riding a horse wearing a tunic was a job [laughs]. I’m sorry. I seem to remember slaying a dragon for you. Does that ring any bells? Oh right, right. You slept through the hole thing– – [laughs] You know what? Like I lived it. It’s the only thing he talks about at every ball we ever go to, and we are never invited to anything anymore, because he’s so boring. It was 20 years ago– – It was a fucking dragon. Do you know how much shit I had to go through? Thorn forrest, fire– – [yawns] – There was a rock in my boot! – Statutory rape? I don’t know what that is. Why are you freaking out? He asked me how old we were when we got married. – I know. – I said I was 16. – Fuck. – Am I missing something? – Clearly. – I was this many… [whispers] that many. – We haven’t had sex, uh, since the incident. – [therapist]: What happened? – Well, we walked in on her father, and, uh, mrs. Pots… Just, going to town. – and she’s never on time. We are late for everything. – That is not fair. I’m not just getting myself ready for the ball, I have 7 other dwarfs that I have to get ready too. – He is my father. You need to respect him. – He needs to respect me. Me. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask him to put on a shirt to cover up those saucer sized nipples during a meal. Just one meal. – I think the worse part of it was when she said, “Try my grey stuff. It’s delicious.” Don’t believe me? Ask the dishes. You can’t unhear that. – All you have to do is squeeze yourself into some tights– – So here’s a thought. If you know that it’s going to take you 3 hours to get ready, start 3 hours earlier. Simple isn’t it, simple– – I fucking hate you. – Ohh. – Eat a apple, you son of a bitch. – You should see the fucking moobs on this guy. [whispers] hypnotic. Hypnotic. – Okay, every time I think about it, my stomach gets tied up in knots. I can’t breathe. Even the whisper– even the whisper of having to choose between them makes my heart ache. – Well you have to choose. We can’t keep going on like this. – [sigh] – Is it going to be pink, or is it going to be blue?

94 comments

  1. does funnyordie cut any profits? their videos don't seem to be getting very many views, at least not the non-viral ones.

  2. Hello i'm french and I don't get most of the lines in this video. Could someone just write them down in a comment, for me, please ??? 

  3. advice for all of them

    Either try to work it out or skidoo

    also on triton…he doesn't have moobs…they're called pecs…

  4. "I don't think it is unreasonable to ask him to put on a shirt to cover up those saucer sized nipples during a meal…just one meal."

    OH MY GAWD! XD

  5. Come on! There are 3 parts to this, so why weren't there more Disney characters included in the sequels?! Everyone is saying 'Aladdin & Jasmine', and that one is an absolute must!!! I would also want to see Dumbo in therapy because of him losing his mom and being exploited as a child worker and how is Bambi doing with the loss of his mother at a young age?!?! I'm sure he has mommy issues! And Simba and Nala, we know had a kid! How is parenting going?! Lol

  6. Cinderella? Her closet homosexual prince? A guy dances with one girl all night, cannot describe her face…way too obsessed with her shoes!

  7. If She has a break down choosing between pink and blue maybe avoid them and focus on yellow, green, white, black, grey, purple, orange, red and brown?

  8. Ariel is freakin' hot (though apparently not too bright 😉 )!!! On a different note, I don't get Sleeping Beauty's pink/blue conflict. Is she unsure what dress to wear or does it refer to something else?

  9. LOL @ Sleeping Beauty and Prince Philip. "You have to choose. We can't keep going on like this. Is it going to be pink or blue?"

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