Doc Vader on “Clinical” Administrators

Well, every time I get home and I sit in my meditation chair and I put on my, you know, lounge wear, I think, life could have
been so much better, Vader, if you had just taken the route of the Clinical Administrators, you know, the people who used to be at
the bedside touching patients, finger in the exhaust
board, but then said: “You know what? I got
better things to do like, “I dunno, making money,
having my weekends off, “not being on call, and
tormenting other bedside people.” And if I’d done that, well boy, I’d have a golden-plated Landspeeder, I’d have plenty of time off,
I mean, this is the thing, Bob, all right, Bob was an intern, saw a bunch of patients,
everybody was like: “You know, Bob is a little dangerous, “you know, a little 007, “possibly a little strong
with the dark energy, “I wouldn’t send my mother to him, “but we’ll refer every now and again.” Well, Bob, of course, sees the path: “Administrator time, boo yah!”, kisses the emperor’s buttocks. The next thing you know, he’s in charge of PQRS
Optimization let’s just say. Or, maybe, doing better on HCAHPS or, he decides to be an Epic champion and that lets him down the path. It’s like he went into
Dagobah into that cave and saw the evil in him and instead of trying to
destroy it with a lightsaber, just gave it a little hug
and a pat on the buttocks. Then, there he is, now he’s behind a desk. He’s on the phone and you know what? “The numbers are down, the numbers are up. “You tell those front line clinicians “to work harder, not smarter. “Wait, reverse that. “No, tell them to do all of the above. “All right, I’m goin’ to play golf.” (hands slap) Clinical Administrators. And it’s, “Oh, no, we used to be there. “I know, Vader, we used
to touch patients.” Did you? Did you? You were the worst. Everybody remembers you. That’s why you’re an
Administrator now, okay? Can we get good people to
rise through the ranks? It’s always the Palpatines, uh! You’re green, all right? You were green from the beginning, you’re a bad person and now you’re a bad
person with power and money and you’re hurting everyone around you! Everyday it’s like this! “Oh, click this box so we
get paid, oh, you know what? “You need to work smarter not harder.” You need to shut up harder! We don’t trust these guys. This is the problem though: The front line continues
to snipe at these guys. “Well, you know Bob’s a sell-out.” No, he never sold in! He’s just, you know,
he was never very good. There are a few that are good. Look, I’m just venting, guys, you know? You know what else is good at venting? Stress eating, okay? I will tell you, the best
way to eat a Whopper: Cut it four ways and eat
each slice from the middle. That way you never have
that inappropriate ratio of goodies inside and delicious
sauce and cheese, to bun. It’s always perfect and you know what? You’re welcome. Have it your way, b****. (offscreen chuckle)

43 comments

  1. Have it your way bitch. πŸ˜‚ πŸ˜‚ πŸ˜‚ πŸ˜‚ πŸ˜‚ πŸ˜‚ I don't want Doc Vader be an administrator either

  2. O-M-G, you had me until Burger King. πŸ₯΄ The test market for soylent green. This message was approved by the Administrator of In-N-Out.

  3. The administration types back in day when applying to med school spouted β€œI want to do primary care and help the underserved!” Then they become a suit to make the big bucks

  4. The manager that everyone goes to HR with complaints is moved to a higher and better position. Just because they kissed up to senior management.

  5. Don't get me wrong, I want nothing to do with admin, but I see why they get drawn into it. True clinicians work their asses off and are the scapegoats when things go wrong. The admin folks work 9-5 and make more money. It's absurd.

  6. I LOVE this. … so is there some way I can pull down my full clinical salary by inventing new buttons and features for Epic that no one will ever use? I'd prefer M-F all holidays off and 6 weeks vacation. Other docs who are actually seeing patients can generate the income for my salary. Thanks!

  7. Doc Vader, I think you are being too unkind to these folks. I suspect that a good part of them are really the best of us. They are the folks who are too caring, they take too much of the work home with them, they are not cynical enough and they get burned out. The system destroys good people. My impression is that an angry surgeon might operate day in and day out until old age. A real empathetic internist? You got maybe 7 years of that before you need to start phasing out of patient care.
    It is people who want to save their marriages and see their kids that say to themselves "you know all those BS meetings that Bob goes to and gets paid for? I think I could do that. I won't get sued again, stalked by a patient again, lose sleep again, get told I am not meeting metrics again, work Sundays again…."

  8. Well, that took an unexpectedly useful turn there at the end.
    Come for the biting sarcasm, stay for the lifehacks.

  9. Bob sounds remarkably like that Grand Admiral Thrawn guy the Emperor keeps raving about. I’m just saying. πŸ˜†

  10. Love your videos but you’re wrong about the proper way to eat a Whopper
    1. Slice Whopper into 4 pieces.
    2. Place pieces in a blender.
    3. Add 500ml sweet tea to blender. (Don’t use anything carbonated, it ends badly)
    4. Run blender on high 60 seconds.
    5. Pour contents of blender down the drain.
    6. Burn blender and anything else the Whopper may have touched.
    7. Drive to Five Guys and get a proper heart attack in a bag.

  11. Healthcare admins are part of the broken system. there is nothing wrong with healthcare as a business. But there is no transparency in USA. Everyone wants an mri, 1 hour doctor appointments, ADLs altering plastic surgery, dental implants instead of dentures. Guess what? Even with 100% socialized medicine that ain’t happening. No socialized car insurance can provide everyone with a Lexus or Porsche. no socialized system will keep giving out free Kia to bad drivers.

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