EMDR Therapy Demonstration: Dissociative Considerations

(relaxing music) – So hello Jamie. – Hi Rachel, how you doing? – Doing well. So I know that we’re colleagues and I know we have a little
bit of history and background, but just for the sake of practice, it’s making sure that I
kinda check all the boxes. Give me a little bit
about what’s going on, and what you would like to work on today. – Yeah, so there was an
incident that happened a little over a month ago, that you were actually present for,
which is one of the reasons I really kinda trust you
to do this piece of work. So as I shared with you, I have
a really hard time sometimes setting up for a training in the morning. – Okay. – If I don’t feel I have adequate time to get set up, to get cooled
down, and get grounded, then I feel like I’m just totally frenetic and I’m not in a good enough place to actually begin the training. And I learned that a lot of that is not necessarily a bad thing, to get there to get early to get grounded because I do generate
a lot of natural heat, but whenever there’s this
tendency for me to feel rushed, like you know some of
the buildings we train in don’t let us in until
7:30, and then participants are coming in at 7:30, and so
it was this training we did a couple weeks ago now,
I guess it woulda been, and you were there, you saw
kind of how activated I got when a bunch of different
things were coming at me at once and I think things went fine,
by the time we got started and I rolled into it, but yeah, I definitely remember
how you and Tom said, “yeah, you definitely got activated, “there’s something there.” – Sure. – And the more and more
I thought about it, I dropped two things that morning. I dropped my golden milk, which is this real orange-ish
beverage that people know it’s there when I’m drinking it. And I spilled that on a counter as the lady, the host of the agency was kind of asking me
all kind of questions. I spilled it. And then later I ended
up dropping my keys. And as you guys kinda called me out on it and I made some connections, that nervousness, that
freneticness, that hah, gets worse when I drop stuff, and I think it ties to old
messages about being clumsy, not being very coordinated, and then, you know wondering if
there’s shame around that with my dissociation and so yeah, it’s that whole dropping
things, clumsiness, having this tendency to
get me more worked up. – Gotcha. – That’s the basics of it. – Okay, so knowing this and
knowing we’re gonna work on it, what would you say you would like to get out of doing this work today? – I mean I just think deeper insight into what this is about,
because it would be awesome in my life going forward
if I didn’t beat myself up so much when I drop things. ‘Cause even I think a few days later when you and Tom and I were at lunch, I ended up dropping my
keys again or something, and I felt that gut, you
know, you clumsy stupid fool. And I just dropped my damn keys. – Right. – But it still can– And I notice that happens
whenever I drop things, and I drop things often, but it still kinda has that, I’m clumsy. But that coming with a lot of loaded… – Still has charge. – Yeah. – There’s charge there. – So if I can work on
being kinder to myself when I drop things, I think
it’ll just help me in life. And if it is connected
to some deeper stuff that would help me just stay more grounded and calm in the morning,
especially when I set up for a training, ’cause you know that’s a big part of my life. – Of course. – That would be fantastic. – Lovely. So it sounds like you
kind of already found your target memory, from that training. – Well I don’t think that’s necessarily the target memory, as much as like, the target cognition
would be more, I’m clumsy. – “I’m clumsy.” – If that makes sense. – Yeah, yeah, that makes sense. – And yeah I’d be curious for you to like float that back with me, ’cause you know after all kinda did some
fact-finding around it, it’s, yeah it’s specifically
dropping things. – Okay, okay, so the negative
belief of “I am clumsy.” – Yeah, I think let’s
start there as a basic. – And see where it goes. – And see where this matrix takes us. (laughing) – Let’s go. – As you like to say. – Absolutely. So with the negative
belief of “I am clumsy,” looking back over the course of your life, from the very beginning,
when was the first time that you remember
believing, “I am clumsy?” – Wow, I think I’m just gonna go there. It was when I first tried
to learn how to ice skate. I was five years old. My babysitter Carrie Anne took me, although my father was there as well, ’cause it was at Rocky Ridge where there was sledding and all of that. And I really wanted to skate. You know I ended up learning how to skate and skating well and all of that. But that first time, just
clinging to the side of the rink and feeling like it should’ve
been easier than that. That was the first. – Okay. So, looking over the course of your life, from the very beginning,
when was the worst time that you believed “I am clumsy?” (exhales deeply) – I’m not drawing on a specific, but just a general sense of it always being an issue for my parents, with both my brother and I. Paul would get all messy with stuff. It may have been the, “beaned in the head
with a fastball” comment that my dad used to make. I think that would probably be
the big representational one. Like you know, Jamie falls,
or Jamie drops things “’cause she’s walking around looking like “she’s beaned in the
head with a fastball.” And that’s a statement I often associate with my dissociative stuff. – Gotcha, gotcha, all right. (breathing deeply) So, looking over the course of your life, from the very beginning,
when was the most recent time that you believed, “I am clumsy?” – Probably whenever the last
time was I dropped my keys, which was a few days ago. (laughing) But yeah, we can go with
that Portage training, spilling the golden milk. – Was the most recent, okay. – Was an oucher, ’cause that was probably the most embarrassing drop of late. – Okay, okay. So do you feel comfortable,
going with that first memory. – It was interesting, ’cause the first… I wasn’t expecting it to go there, so I think that’s probably
where we need to go. – Okay. – Even though even as we’re talking I would say the worst
carries the most charge, but you know what we teach, let’s go with the first
and see what happens. – Okay, so before we jump
into any reprocessing, walk me through kind of maybe
top three or four techniques that you currently use
to be able to stabilize, that you already have prepared. – Yeah, well the Asatoma prayer, which is a huge prayer in the spiritual tradition I practice. I was just sharing with a friend today about how I pray that prayer no less than four or five times a day. You know which is, “divine, lead me from
the unreal to the real, “from darkness into the light, “from time bound consciousness “to the timeless state
of being that I am.” So really any of my spiritual
practices with yoga. I do japa meditation, asana practice, breath practice, chanting, all of that. So that’s more than three. (laughs) But those are specific to yoga, so reaching out to my friends. – So you got a good toolbox to work with. – Yeah, I’m pretty, as
you would say, skilled up. – Yes. – In your work.
– Pretty skilled up. – So for our work today,
what would be one of those that you would like to return to, should activation become too much, should you need to do a
stop, or give me a signal. – Yeah, ’cause I would definitely give you like this for pause, like
I just need a breath. ‘Cause often I just
need to catch my breath and look around and ground. ‘Cause even when I do reprocess, I’d like to keep my eyes closed, but I can get a little floaty, so sometimes it’s like,
mm, just need a minute. And this would be a full on stop. I mean definitely grounding me, just doing this kinda scan the room works. Doing the Asatoma prayer like I mentioned, and probably some yoga pose
that I’m feeling in the moment, or we can dance or something like that. – Okay, sounds good. Ready to rock? – Let’s rock. – All right. So we’re gonna look at the target of the first time you
learned how to ice skate. So looking back on it now, what image represents the worst part of the target? – I can see myself… I have to talk this out a little bit. I can see myself clinging
to the boards for dear life, at the Rocky Ridge ice rink
where I learned to skate. I’m still wearing like this maroon coat, that I remember having, and I can see like the skates kinda– That’s the worst part, the skates kind of (makes scraping noises) out from under me. And I could see Carrie
Anne, I could see my dad on the sides getting frustrated. Jeez, I’m trying to… Yeah it’s seeing them getting frustrated. – Okay, okay. When you bring up that image now, what is the negative belief about yourself that goes along with it? – I’m uncoordinated. ‘Cause that plagued me
throughout my skating. When I skated and competed, and you know, I’m uncoordinated, I’m
not naturally athletic. But yeah, I’m uncoordinated, yeah. – When you bring up the
image of the target, what would you like to
believe about yourself now? – Um… (exhaling slowly) Um… Probably something like,
I can handle myself. ‘Cause like, I am coordinated, doesn’t… Probably, I can handle myself. But I don’t know where that’s gonna go. – It’s all right. All right, so as you look
back on the image now, what is your gut level feeling of how true that positive belief is right now, with one being completely false and seven being completely true. – Three. – What emotions do you feel
when you link the image with the negative belief
of “I am uncoordinated?” – Wow, um, (laughs) I can’t even really put words. – And you don’t have to. – Just like I’m an
embarrassment to myself. I know it’s almost a cognition too, but like, embarrassing,
like I’m embarrassed. I’m just disgusted with myself. – What is your level of disturbance as you bring up the image,
the negative belief, and all the emotions together, with zero being no disturbance or neutral, and 10 being the worst
that you can imagine? – It’s middle of the road, about five. – What are you noticing in
your body in this moment as you bring up the image,
the negative belief, and the emotions all together? – My stomach feels like
it has a pit in it. – So bring up the body
sensations together, the negative belief of
“I am uncoordinated,” and the image of the target memory. Notice whatever you notice. – I’d change the negative cognition. – Okay. – It’s, I’m an embarrassment to myself. – “I’m an embarrassment to myself.” – Yeah. ‘Cause that feels even… – Even more. – Ugh.
– ‘Kay. Well then let’s do that. So, “I’m an embarrassment to myself.” So let’s do this. (breathing deeply) What is your level of disturbance as you bring up the image,
the negative belief, all the emotions together, with zero being no disturbance or neutral, 10 being the worst that you can imagine? – It’s a little higher, it’s a seven. I already feel it linking in to the “beaned with a fastball” stuff. – Okay. What are you noticing in
your body in the moment as you bring up the image,
the negative belief, and the emotions all together? – It’s still the pit, with a little bit of twinging in the chest. – Okay, so bring up the body sensation together with the negative belief of “I’m an embarrassment to myself” and the image of the target memory. Notice whatever you notice, as we begin. (hands tapping) Take a breath. (breathing deeply) What do you notice? – That I probably need
to leave my eyes open even if I’m looking up,
’cause I felt myself like getting floaty to not go there. I’ll look up I think. (breathing deeply) – Let’s go with that. (hands tapping) Take a breath. (breathing deeply) What are you noticing now? – I’m just so fucking awkward. I can see that maroon coat,
this horrible hair I had, with the beanie cap on outside, and, I mean there’s other stuff connected to that I
don’t wanna say out loud, but it’s just like,
I’m so fucking awkward. – Go with that. (hands tapping) Deep breath. (breathing deeply) – It’s interesting that went
to a different picture of me, that I actually have,
I can show you later, of me skating on that
same ice rink when I’m 13, when I know what I’m doing, when I’m doing like this beautiful spin. And I love that picture,
’cause it’s me in one of my freest states and I don’t really know why the picture’s coming up other than, there’s a lot of other good
memories tied to that picture, ’cause, you know, high school got better. And I was in high school. Maybe I was more like 14, 15, I was 14. Yeah, it’s still just that picture. – Let’s go with that. (hands tapping) – I had those like flying
90s cheese poof bangs. (both laughing) Going back and forth in the picture. And Swishy pants. (laughs) (hands tapping) (exhaling deeply) – What are you noticing? – Dad saying “you’re
not really an athlete.” Which is something he said
to me around that time and it’s weird ’cause, I
mean you know we’ve had a complicated relationship, but, on one hand, I know he
was very proud of me for learning how to skate and
he did a lot to support that, but I remember one time
around that same time, when I was about 14, I referred
to myself as an athlete and he said “you’re not a real athlete.” – Let’s go with that. (hands tapping) – Wow. (breathing deeply) Dammit. – What are you noticing? – So I just went into this whole kind of long parade of body shame stuff. (groans) Yeah, ’cause when I did figure skate, I mean I was usually
one of the bigger girls you know at camps or in
my class or in my club and I had lost a
considerable amount of weight between my seventh and eight grade yeah, but even still, you know
going from 165 to 135 pounds that was still heavy for skating. And you know it’s just things… (sighs) (exhales) So I know not to give
the whole like litany of where it went, I guess
where it landed with is like, my body is awkward, my
heavy body is awkward. It always has been. It just always has been. (laughs) – Let’s go with that. (hands tapping) (sighs) – Wow. (hands tapping) (sighs) – Deep breath. (breathing deeply) What are you noticing? – Weird. Eighth grade, about a
year before that picture, still kinda in it right now. I was on a class field trip to Pittsburgh and I fell and hit my head. We were at some kind of public park and I think, but I’m not sure, my mom took me to the ER
that night to get it checked. And my dad made the comment, “well did you fall down
these stairs in the park…” it was a “beaned with the head
and the fastball” comment. You know, “’cause you were like kind of “off in another world?” That’s what he said. And the weird thing was,
what I was doing in that park on those steps was skating things. – Should we go with that? – Mm hm. Yeah. – How d’you feel about being present. Feel like you need to keep
eyes open, or doing okay? – Just, yeah, I’m gonna keep my eyes open. – ‘Kay. Let’s go with that. (hands tapping) Deep breath. (breathing deeply) What do you notice? – It’s not shame, ’cause I don’t… You know I’ve worked through having shame about being a dissociative person. But I think it’s embarrassment ’cause, like sometimes I can
feel like I’m demanding or I’m being a diva if I tell facilities I gotta be able to get in early to do my grounding and to
make sure I’m there and… – Let’s go with that. – Yeah. (hands tapping) – Deep breath. (breathing deeply) – I think I have to close my eyes, but let me know if it gets bad. ‘Cause it’s embarrassed about
needing to say what I feel. – Let’s go with that. (hands tapping) (breathing deeply) – You can tap my legs ’cause I think I have to hold my heart. – What are you noticing? – I can’t put words to it. – Okay. (hands tapping) (exhaling deeply) (hands tapping) Deep breath. (breathing deeply) What are you noticing now? – I’m floaty. – Do you feel like you
need a pause, a stop? – No I’ll just keep my
eyes open for this one. – Okay. – Looking ahead. – Okay. (hands tapping) (laughs) Deep breath. (breathing deeply) – That was cool. ‘Cause as you know, I kind of identify having this four-year-old ego state, nine-year-old ego state. Oh god the nine-year-old
was amazingly awkward. (both laughing) You know when I was actually nine. One of my most awkward years, and a lot of the healing I’ve done is to help her heal that. And it was just both of
them telling my adult self, we’re very proud of you. – Go with that? – Yeah. (hands tapping) (breathing deeply) – What are you noticing now? – So, I know I don’t have
to recount the whole thing, but I just wanna share
this, that at one point the four-year-old kinda said like, “you fucking learned how to skate, “like well, that’s awesome.” – Yeah. – “You learned how to spin and jump “and think of like where you
came from being at the boards “to what you were able
to learn how to do.” And then that went to, I
recently found a picture of myself at about six,
which was, you know, in that super duper
awkward cauldron of years between about like four and 14. (laughs) And yeah, it was from my brother’s baptism and it was this picture of me at six and I had seen other pictures
from that event before and had always judged
myself as like super awkward and as I was going
through some old photos, I found a new picture from that event and it just struck me as
like, I was a beautiful child. It was seeing myself in a new light, looking at that photo that I had not kind of consciously remembered. So I have it on my studio, I’m probably gonna do something with
it, art piece wise. But it just kinda came
to that picture of me, being able to claim, like
I was a beautiful child even with my awkwardness. – So let’s do this, let’s check back in. Check back and see kind
of where you’re at. So, when you return to the
target image where we began, what is your level of
distress in this moment with zero being no disturbance or neutral, 10 being the worst that you can imagine? – It’s down. It’s a two. – Okay. What do you feel keeps
it from being a zero? – It’s still a little bit of… ‘Cause I look at myself
and I was precious. It’s still more of this
look of disappointment. And I wanna be clear
like, Carrie Anne was not a bad babysitter or anything,
but I think it was like even how we can feel teaching, just a little bit of that frustration of teaching a kid something new, like, come on Jamie you almost had it. (laughs) But yeah, just seeing that frustration, seeing my dad’s frustration
and it’s just connecting to some other teachers
I’ve had over the years who I think have gotten
frustrated with me. – ‘Kay, so let’s go with that. (hands tapping) – Deep breath. (both laughing) – Well that was funny, ’cause
where I got to was like, gosh, looking at Carrie
Anne and that helps me feel how I feel teaching people sometimes. So I know that’s like,
completely innocuous. My dad’s still sticking a little bit. – Okay. – And I’m hearing again, “beaned in the head with a fastball.” – Let’s go with that. (hands tapping) – Which is odd, ’cause baseball consistently has been
one of our common tongues over the years. (hands tapping) – Wow. Woo. – Deep breath. (breathing deeply) – That landed on a memory
of when I was playing little league softball. You know, again, was never really great, but I enjoyed doing it. And this one time, I forget
exactly how old I was, but I dropped the most routine fly ball when I was in the outfield. And even afterwards, like you know, he was never one of those
super sports parents ’cause he knew I was
like, not at that level, to be this great ath– As we’ve discussed. But it was, come on, he’s like, “Jamie, I know you know
how to catch those.” – Should we go with that? – Yeah. That’s the dropping shit. (laughs) (hands tapping) But then that goes to, keep tapping, about three years later when I was 12, it was the last year I
played at that division. One of the proudest things ever was that I played first base. And my only really job
at playing first base was to catch the damn ball (laughs) when it was thrown to
me to get somebody out. So like, in that three year period, I learned how to catch a ball. (sighs) Yeah, why am I still
really unkind to myself when I drop my keys. – Go with that. (hands tapping) – ‘Cause I’m still associating with, that there’s something wrong with my body. So it’s like I can learn, I can adapt, all that’s cool, but there’s
something wrong with my body. (sighs) (hands tapping) – Deep breath. (breathing deeply) – It’s still that, there’s
something wrong with my body. – Okay. Let’s go with that. (hands tapping) – Deep breath. (breathing deeply) What are you noticing now? – Um… It landed on this memory of
when I was in the Caribbean, probably about six, seven years ago and this one like hiking tour guide that my friend Maureen and I went with, he just could not stop
commenting about my weight. And like was talking to
Maureen in my earshot about like, “does she know
there are things she could do?” And stuff like that. And yeah, I was lagging behind
a little bit on the hike, as I usually have, but what
I showed myself that day was I could still do it, I just
may need a little more time or a little more modification, you know, even if I choose
not to modify my body in any way, ’cause on one
hand I’m kind of like, icked and ashamed this is coming up because I’m all about like body love and I feel fundamentally
I do accept my body and my sexuality and all this, but (exhales forcefully) you know maybe the issue is more about it’s still what other people
think that bothers me, when it comes to my body, I don’t know. – Let’s go with that. (exhales forcefully) (hands tapping) – Deep breath. (breathing deeply) – Let’s not even get started,
all the times my father had commentary about my body. Just other things I don’t wanna say. (sighs) – Let’s do a litmus test,
let’s do a check back in, just to kinda see where it’s landed. – Ah, there’s something here. – Wanna keep going? – Yeah. – All right, okay, let’s go with that. (hands tapping) – If you’re hands need a break, take it, but this is good, this
position I’m in right now, I need to stay here for a bit. – Okay, you stay there,
let’s take a breath. (breathing deeply) What are you noticing? – Just that this is a position
I kind of often come into in EMDR when something’s clearing. – Okay, let’s go with that. (hands tapping) (breathing deeply) What are you noticing now? – Just that my body is
beautiful, it’s adaptable, but none of that will ever
be good enough for my father. Kind of like just, and
so that’s the way it is, like I’m not feeling a lot of
distress with that, just that. – Let’s check in. – All right. – We’ll see where we landed. All right. So, when you return to the
target image where we began, what is your level of
distress in this moment with zero being no disturbance or neutral, 10 being the worst that you can imagine? – Um, it’s a one. – Okay, what keeps it from being a zero? – I guess I’m just wondering if there’s like a deeper cauldron of dad stuff that needs to be explored with that, that I’m like, I don’t
know if pushing away or it needs to be opened
up in other targets, but… – So for our work today…? – Uh huh, we could go with that other one. I can ask myself, no I mean I can ask what keeps it from being a zero. ‘Cause it’s definitely dad related. – ‘Kay. So dad related. Let’s go with that. (hands tapping) Breath. (breathing deeply) What are you noticing? – Something I don’t wanna say. – Okay. Let’s go with that. (hands tapping) (breathing deeply) – Honestly what I’m getting
is I’ll never measure up to their standard, you know, mom and dad. ‘Cause I certainly got my share of clumsy commentary from mom too. And that’s okay. Like it really kinda
feels like, that’s okay. Like I’ll never have the body either of them want me to have either. That’s okay, ’cause it’s no
longer about pleasing them. And it probably never really ever was. – Should we go with that? – Yeah. (hands tapping) (laughs) That felt good, to say that. (laughs) (hands tapping) (breathing deeply) – What are you noticing now? (laughs) – Honest thing that came
up, ’cause obviously I know we’re being filmed,
and there’s this sense even as I’m doing this of oh, I’m sure I look chubby on the
camera, but who really cares. So. That felt good in my body. – Okay. Let’s do this. When you return to the
target image where we began, what is your level of
distress in this moment? Zero is no disturbance or neutral, 10 is the worst that you can imagine. – I don’t even see my
dad on the side boards. And that makes it a zero. – Okay. All right. So when you bring up the image, does the original positive
belief that we have, of “I can handle myself,”
does that still fit? Or is there another positive belief that might fit better now? – “I can handle myself” fits, but I think there’s
one that’s even better. I don’t know if this is too bold, but, I have an amazing body. You know, amazing in terms of… Well no, I’m not gonna
qualify it, ’cause I can, but it’s just like, I
have an amazing body. – Yeah, it’s your positive belief. You can make it whatever you want. – Yeah.
– Yeah. So “I have an amazing body.” All right. So what is your gut level feeling of how true that positive
belief is right now as you look back on the image, with one being completely false, seven being completely true? – It’s about a six and a half. And I know what you’re gonna ask me next. (both laughing) – What keeps it from being a seven? – Yeah, I mean the lingering essence is there’s a little bit of it is like, oh is that arrogant to say? You know ’cause there
is that sense I have, I wanna qualify it, like,
yeah I have an amazing body, it’s healthy, it’s adaptable,
you know, it’s all this. I know, it’s not in my
spiritual beliefs to say I am an amazing body, ’cause my body is just a thing of this life. – Okay. But it has gotten me
through a lot of shit. – Yeah. – And I fucking learned
how to figure skate. – Yeah, with your body. – Yeah, and I drop my keys and
drop my drinks all the time and I still am on point at 8:00 to teach. – Yes. So the question is, what keeps it from being a seven, or do you feel like six and a half is…? – Six and a half and there’s still that, you know, is it arrogant. – “Is it arrogant?” – Yeah. – Let’s go with that? – Yeah.
– ‘Kay. Okay. – Yeah yeah. (hands tapping) (sighs) (hands tapping) (breathing deeply) I’d say keep going, ’cause I
was in the middle of something. – Yeah, all right. (hands tapping) (laughs) – I can’t believe– I mean this is so weird to me. (breathing deeply) So it went to this song called “Bodies,” which is by a folk artist who does a lot of contemplative work that I like. And it’s all about like,
I have a physical body, an emotional body, it’s
all about the koshas, you know, and the
different layers of body. And when she’s talking
about the mind body, there’s this line in the
song where it’s like, you know, I do this, I do this, I do this, and oh, I just found my lost keys. Like as if to say that like,
you know, misplacing stuff is part of what makes us brilliant. – Wanna go with that? – Yeah. So maybe it is just part of
my whimsy to drop my keys. And spill my coffee. (hands tapping) A very dear person to me
recently said something like, “it’s part of your charm.” So, it’s just… (hands tapping) (breathing deeply) – What are you noticing now? – It’s a seven. (laughs) – You’re like, yeah it is. – Yeah. – Awesome, okay. – I have an amazing body. It’s been through a lot
and it’s adapted to a lot and it just is a lot, but
yeah, I have an amazing body. – Okay, here’s what we’re gonna do. Place that positive belief,
of “I have an amazing body,” together with the original image. (breathing deeply) (hands tapping) (breathing deeply) – It’s weird, ’cause as
soon as you started tapping it went to that representative
from the agency that morning and there was a little
bit of this twinge of, oh I felt her judging me. And it cleared, but I think like kind of moving forward, there’s this– ’cause this is the reality of my life that I put myself in positions for people to judge me all the time, ’cause I’m in business for
myself and I’m a public person and I’m a teacher and all of this and, is it fair to say, so what? – Let’s go with that. – All right. (hands tapping) (breathing deeply) And it’s this like, process I know I’m gonna have to deal
with more moving forward. Like I’m recognizing it
even as my hands did this, of like navigating this interplay between being evaluated, not
necessarily being judged, ’cause yeah, I am
constantly being evaluated, that’s the nature of my life. Versus, I can be human. – I say let’s do one more. – All right. – Let’s go with that. (hands tapping) Deep breath. (breathing deeply) – I really like this picture
my hand is making now. I’d like to receive the
image when we’re done. Have you take it. – Absolutely. – ‘Cause it looks like a house from this perspective, kinda
with two chimneys on it. You know and I do this a lot, where it’s like there’s this interplay. It’s like there’s a Dr. Jamie and a Jamie. And we’re the same person, but you know there’s two different hands that make her. And it’s okay, I can love them both. – Okay. So now that the positive
belief has been installed, what are you noticing,
as you scan your body. – It’s this. It’s this symbol here and I think whenever I get overwhelmed, whenever I, you know, ’cause like even that morning, I made sure I still had
that minute before I taught to like get myself. (breathing deeply) And I have to add this to
my arsenal, to my toolkit. And the rest of my body
feels very present, very here in a way it wasn’t, ’cause I was getting a little floaty very early on in this. – So this feels very grounding? – Very grounding. And like my eyes feel
very open and, it’s cool. – So from what hearing, let’s
hold that clear body scan together with the original target, and that positive belief of
“I have an amazing body.” (hands tapping) (exhales deeply) (hands tapping) Breath. (breathing deeply) What are you noticing now? – This like idea of, this is my expression and
then this is home base, it’s coming home. Oh and just so many like,
spiritual cool things, which I can share with you, – Yes!
– ‘Cause it’s like, you know, left and right, masculine feminine, this is hanuman in the
center and it’s the bridge. – Patanjali. – Yeah. – Snake kundalini. – Kundalini. Um, this is really cool. ‘Cause as many things as
I do with Mudras and hands and all this, this exact position is not something I’ve ever
really come into before. – Well actually now
that I’m looking at it, if we count, one two
three four five six seven. – That chakras. – Chakras. (laughs) – Can we go with that? (both laughing) Let’s go with that. (hands tapping) (exhales deeply) (hands tapping) Breath. (breathing deeply) – I like it. – Cool. So it seems to me from
what you’re telling me that, body’s clear. How would you say that you’re
feeling in this moment? – Very grounded, very like, and I think you know this too, when you can get through the EMDR like, where the heck did all
this connect and come from? And this is not anything,
believe it or not, I’ve consciously worked on before. As much EMDR as I’ve done. – Sure. – And, yeah I guess since the intention that brought me here was like, how I kind of behave in
the morning with trainings, I’m just curious to see
like how using this skill, you know, and we’ll see, but over all I feel a real sense of, like it’s huge that I no longer see my dad on the boards when I bring up that memory. Just yeah, you were
this awkward little bean who learned how to skate. (breathing deeply) – So for closure, do you feel like there’s anything that you need? Is there a skill that you
would like to revisit? Would you like some debriefing of what possibly could
happen between sessions? What do you think that
you need for closure. – I think I’m good on what could happen, ’cause we’ve done enough of this. – Yes. – Um, yeah, will you just
kind of hold this with me? – Love to. – I’ll let you guide me, but let’s do some breaths together with this. – Inhale. (breathing deeply) And let it go. (exhaling deeply) Inhale. (breathing deeply) Let it go. (exhaling deeply) One more, inhale. (breathing deeply) let it go. (exhaling deeply) – I just wanna do the prayer. – Do it. – “Lead me from the unreal to the real, “from darkness into the light, “and from time bound consciousness “into the timeless state
of being that I am.” (breathing deeply) Thank you Rachel. – Thank you Jamie. (light music)


  1. Thank you for your courage in sharing, Jamie! I’m curious about the workbook that Rachel is using. What is the title of the workbook? Thank you!

  2. Please continue posting videos. I'm finding them very helpful, inspirational and motivational in my beginning practice with EMDR! You are beautiful!!!!!

  3. I have been so happy to watch your demo videos of EMDR. I will have my first session of EMDR next week. I have found the videos to be very calming and reassuring along with a positive article, on EMDR, written by Focus on the Family. I come from a religious background that puts red flags and question marks up about things even like yoga. I would like to know what you mean when you describe yourself as feeling floaty during this session.

  4. This was so helpful to me.I suffer with dissociative disorder this help me in learning what to expect in working within my work. Thank you.

  5. This is so helpful! What a beautiful thing to see the therapist in the role of client. What I love about EMDR is that it demonstrates that all healing comes from within.

  6. nobody can ever get healed while inviting demonic entities into your life through yoga or other eastern practises. Jesus is the only way to life and healing

  7. This is so interesting and helpful. I love your honesty, openess and the groundedness you bring to mindfull activities. Thanks so much for sharing

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