Family Guy – Brian Takes Anal Pills

“We now return to yet another, Indiana Jones movie.” Snakes, why did it have to be snakes? Elderly potheads, why did it have to be elderly potheads? Is everyone warm in here? Is it warm? Brian, are you feeling alright? Yeah, I’m fine it just seems kind of… *throws up* Oh my God! Uh, Lewis, your dog threw up. Peter, Brian’s clearly not feeling well, you gotta take him to the vet. Unbelievable. Brian throws up once and you rush into the vet. I was throwing up all night last night. Good start, keep it up snack pack. Peter you gotta take him now! really. I- I- I got more energy than a cruise ship conga line. I’m very sick from Lobster. Brian your bloodwork shows that your liver isn’t functioning properly. Would you happen to be a drinker? Well, I don’t know if I’d label myself a drinker. I know I like a cold beer after I mow the lawn. There were three lies in that sentence. Well you have Mickey Mantle’s disease. Now the most obvious step would simply be to stop drinking. Orrrr? Well, we do have these pills that may correct the enzyme and balance in your liver. Yeah that one, okay. I’ll be in the waiting room barking at the fish in the tank. All right, Mr. Griffin these pills will clear up Brian’s condition, but unfortunately they only come in suppository form. It means they have to be inserted into the patient’s anus. Oh,your a deady doctor arent you? you’ll need to administer these pills, because no dog ever voluntarily takes a suppository Well one in ten does. Brian have you ever heard of Lou Gehrig’s disease? *gasps* Oh, no? Well you have Mickey Mantle’s disease. Now the most obvious step would simply be to stop drinking. Orrrr? Well, we do have these pills that may correct the enzyme and balance in your liver. Yeah that one, okay. What. Wait.. what? Oh no, no no no no no no no no, that is not happening! No no no no, I do not go the butt way. Okay, Uh- It means they have to be inserted into the patient’s anus. Oh- ho. Oh,your a deady doctor arent you? Mr. Griffin, I’m not joking or a doctor. Now you’ll need to administer these pills, because no dog ever voluntarily takes a suppository Well one in ten does. Oh, I know the one: Brian’s cousin Jasper. His bum looks like that guy with a hundred cigarettes in his mouth. All right Brian. It’s time for you to take one of these pills from the vet Oh, yeah Right can we do what we normally do where you roll it up in a piece of cheese like you’re fooling me yeah I guess but then you’re gonna have cheese in your ass What. Wait.. what? Yeah, the doctor said I gotta give you these pills the butt way. Oh no, no no no no no no no no no, that is not happening! No no no no, I do not go the butt way. Look, I know, it sounds a little rough but why don’t we start with a gentle massage of the area and see how you feel? Peter get away from my ass! Bri- Brian! No! Huh. Guess I’m just gonna have to take him by surprise. Shouldn’t be too hard. After all I used to be a “Pete In The Box”… *gasps* Uh! Ah! Uh! Goes the wheezle! Alright, if I’m gonna give Brian his medicine I should probably watch that old episode of “Lassie” where Timmy has to give her a supository. *barking* “What’s that lassie? You feel sick? What’s wrong girl?” *barking* A suposi- what? What am I supposed to do with it? *barking* Gosh, I- well, if you’re in that much pain, I- I guess… Okay. *dog noises* You were lying? You weren’t feeling sick? I don’t understand? Why did you want me to do this? *barking* *clapping* What? He was in on it? It was just a prank? You guys are gross! No, no no no Brian, no no, you win, you win. I quit. It’s your liver, you do whatever you want. Well thank you. Yes it is my liver and I don’t want to take that pill. Fine, we’re both in agreement. Let’s just both watch TV, and nothing else. Sounds good to me. I’m glad you think it sounds good. Ah. It’s nice to watch TV when you have nothing else to do isn’t it? Yeah. Get over here you idiot! Ah! Peter, what the hell! I’m still in charge of you! Stop it! I’m a human! Get away from me! This is for your own benefit so just go limp and stay- You touch my ass I swear to God I’ll kill ya’! Ah! *biting* Ah! Wha- what the hell? You- you bit me! You’re damn right I did! And I’ll do it again if you don’t stay the hell away from my ass! But Brian the vet said- *growling* Yai! Wow! Where did that come from? God that was so intense! I feel more powerful than a lesbian’s crotch! Oh sorry ma’am, we don’t valet motorcycles. Huh. Don’t need to.

100 comments

  1. If your finger isn't long enough to insert the pill, stick it further with someone's dick? I bet your uncle will be happy to help.

  2. " I do not go the butt way"
    " Look, I know it sounds a little rough. Why don't we start with a gentle massage of the area and see how you feel"

  3. I woulda punched the shit outta Brian not because hes my dog but because if I had a talking dog and he refused medicine and I was forced to feed his ass medicine because I love him and he bit me I would show the exact same outrage.

  4. when you are forced to take psychotropic drugs and know that it's wrong to drug people , especially children,the elderly and the military(gamers too)

Leave a Reply

(*) Required, Your email will not be published