How To Deal With Anxiety At Work



hello my name is noah elkrief and in this video i'm going to talk about how to deal with anxiety at work so I've already made a video about how to deal with stress at work but in this video I'm going to cover cover it in a slightly different way so if you don't get what you're looking for in this video then I'll have a link at the end of it to try my other video so basically one of the main reasons that we have anxiety at work is not just because about whether we'll have enough money to survive or enough money to get what we want and all that sort of thing something deeper than that is that we look to succeed at work because we're trying to convince ourselves that we have worth that we are valuable that we have a purpose yeah basically that we have a worthy valuable life so if we do well in our job we feel great yay I am good I have worth I have value in life I am valuable I'm worthy and if we do badly at a task or and a project or something along those lines we feel we feel like a failure we feel unworthy we feel insufficient we feel lacking like maybe I don't have value maybe this isn't where L may be and it makes us really feel like we're insufficient right and unworthy but on top of that since feeling since failing makes us feel like we're not good enough and doing badly and our job makes us feel like we're not good enough then even when things are good and everything is going great in my job and we're trying to believe I'm worthy and valuable we still have anxiety about it going badly because just even if things went well for the last 10 years in every single moment you don't know that it will go well in the next moment so you have anxiety about any upcoming projects any upcoming client meetings any upcoming anything because if you do poorly it means you are bad and not worthy in failing so you have anxiety about that and if things aren't so good right and you want to have value and worth and you think it's best to have value north and that your job performance indicates your value then if you then you're scared of not doing well because if you don't do well it means you are not valuable and don't have worth so that creates anxiety as well so even when things are good the anxiety when things are bad your anxiety when it's good your anxiety about it worsening and when it's bad you have anxiety about whether it will ever be good and that's not fun and that all comes from thinking that your job and how well you doing it determines how much value and Worth you have as a human being and so in order to be free of this anxiety we need to separate those two and really understand value and worth much more clearly than that so first of all let's look at the tasks of your job and what that mean about you so right now I'm clapping am i a clapper is that Who I am no it's just something that I'm doing in a moment has nothing to do with Who I am I'm just moving my hands in this way right I am NOT a clapper because I did that especially not now I'm not even clapping right now but even while I'm clapping I am NOT a clapper it's just something that I'm doing if I did that every day for 10 minutes a day or 10 hours a day I am still not a clapper it's just something that my hands are doing right so in your job you do something with your hands you do hand movements all day and and whether it's like this or like this or like this you're doing hand movements the hand movements are not who you are they are not what you are so they don't mean if you're doing this I have a programmer that's Who I am so if I'm good at programming I am good and valuable and if I'm bad a program I am bad and if I'm doing this I'm a good construction worker baggage no you're just doing something with your hands it's not who you are if you leave that job you are still you right if you change jobs you are still you in any moment that you're not doing those hand movements you are still you that means even while you're doing in hand movements the handle it's art who you are so even if how you perform at your job is excellent incredible according to the people around you and your bosses well that doesn't mean you are great it means you have a skill it doesn't mean that's who you are right so as long as you think that how well you perform a task determines how good you are as a person and your worth and you live with fear so recognize that the tasks that you do and how you move your hands doesn't mean anything about who you are the next thing we're going to look at here is simply what do you want most in life what is the number one most important thing to you take a moment and answer that so for a lot of people that have anxiety at work the answer is something like I want success more than anything else I want to reach my potential more than anything else I want to be worthy and to show that I had an impact and worth and I was valuable in this life more than anything else but I'd like to suggest that that's actually not what you want more than anything else what you really want what every person has ever come to me with anxiety actually wants it was able to discover is that you want peace and happiness more than you want anything else that's what we all want you want to lose your anxiety lose your loneliness lose your sense of lack lose your sense of insecurity lose your insufficiency lose your judgments lose your worry about others opinions you want to lose all of those things more than you want to have value and worth okay so in order to see that more clearly perhaps because maybe that's not clear is that is that we look to success in value and worth because we hope it will make us happy so if I asked you how do you expect to feel on your deathbed if you can tell yourself the story it was valuable and worthy and I reach my potential how would you feel well you would expect to feel good great relaxed at peace happy so what you really want is those feelings and somewhere along the way you created the idea that worth in value is how you get those feelings of happiness and peace and relaxed and at ease okay so before we can evaluate whether that's true or not and whether value and worth is the the right means to get you peace and happiness you first need to really discover and really get that you want peace and happiness more than you want value and worth and that doesn't mean you can't get success and all those other types of things this is purely to discover what you want most what's the most important thing to you and to help you discover that we can also look at if I give you two choices okay have no value and worth according to what you think value and worth is but be happy in every moment joyous free light enthusiastic connected loving and all those types of things right never I'm anxiety again never feeling secure never feeling sufficient never compare this moment to your idea of when you have Worth and value none of that or live your life and have value and worth in every way that you think is value and valuable and worthy but you live life with anxiety and security lack worry and everything else you currently have and you have it for the rest of your life which do you choose I know you may think if I had value in words and everything I wouldn't have those feelings well let's put that aside for a second hypothetically if those were your two options value and worth but incredibly unhappy or no value worth and incredibly happy all the time which do you choose well for most of us if we're willing and sometimes it's hard to admit this in order to be open enough to see it but if you're we're really willing to be honest with yourself which may be hard is you'll discover you really want peace more than you want value worth and that's irrelevant as long as you think you want value and worth value north is the most important thing to get you peace but just for right now we need to understand the hierarchy here we confuse the goal with the means right so if I tell you I want icecream more than anything else I don't I want pleasure and I happen to believe ice-cream will give me the pleasure okay so you think you want success more than anything else you don't you want happiness and you just happen to believe success will give it to you but as long as we confuse the means with the goal we live life with a tremendous amount of anxiety so now that that's out of the way if you've discovered you want peace more than anything else well then the next obvious question is can value and worth give you peace if you live a life of value and Worth and you get done and succeed in everything you want to do will that give you peace and happiness and the answer is no but you don't believe me don't trust me let me break it down for you okay so in order to understand what makes us happy we need to completely redefine what happiness is according to discovery rather than what we were taught and believed from our childhood so we tend to believe happiness is given to us like it's not given from somebody else but it comes with success it comes with wealth like if I get that I'll be happy right like happiness is something you get from the outside but happiness is actually simply the absence of suffering okay cuz thoughts are what creates suffering thoughts let the future create anxiety anxiety about money anxiety about health anxiety about your job performance right thoughts about others opinions create worry we're going about with your boss thinks worry about what your co-workers think about you worry about what your wife thinks about you worry right thoughts about yourself creating secured about your personality your appearance your intellect your job performance thoughts about others create judgements anger thoughts about the past rage sadness guilt and everything in between thoughts create suffering so when you're asking yourself the question can something make me happy we need to rework that question a little bit to can that get rid of the thoughts that make me unhappy if not it can't make me happy nothing can make you happy unless it gets rid of the thoughts that make you unhappy right how can something make you happy unless it gets rid of your anxiety worry and security judgments anger guilt and everything in between nothing can make you happy unless it gets rid of your suffering when we're two years old we're already happy fulfilled free joyous light loving playful creative everything in between right why because we have value and worth no because we don't have the thoughts that create suffering so if you had value and worth according to what you will leave that it is can that get rid of the thoughts well it might get rid of the thoughts that says I am lacking because I don't have value it might get rid of the thought that says it would be bad if I never get value right that's what you would think at least but let's take a look okay how would you ever know that you have value and worth how would you ever know it like I know this is a hand how would you ever know that you have value and were the simple answer is you would never know it's completely imaginary it doesn't exist there is no point where you would get to tell yourself I know I have valuing worth you would say you could say I believe that I do like let's say you cure cancer okay the ultimate value and worth I had an impact I reach my potential I saved millions of people you would think that means you definitively have value and worth like it's like it's a real thing but it's actually not if you believe that you cured cancer but you didn't so let's say you created something and in trials it seems like it's definitely worked out but really it's creating mutations that end up killing more people because we don't have a cure for that right but you think you cured cancer in that moment you think I'm so valuable I'm so great when a reality you're actually harming people right but you think I have value because value and worth isn't connected to a real life it's only imaginary or if the opposite is true imagine that you think that you didn't cure cancer that your thing failed but really somebody else took it and is about to cure cancer with them so you came up with the cure right it's maybe it's even saving lives but you don't think you did it maybe you think somebody else changed your formula but it's really just yours do you feel valuable do you feel worthy even if you created the cure to cancer you don't think you did if you don't realize you did you feel nothing because facts don't determine how we feel thoughts do there's no such thing as like I mean basically reality is for our five senses right well whatever we can experience for our five senses touch smell taste see here now tell me what is the smell sight sound wherever I didn't mention of value and worth how would I know so I'm here helping you let's say or maybe attempting to write or maybe I helped millions of people or thousands of people and so it seems do I feel valuable look I'm here now the only moment I would ever feel value is if I thought pops up in my head that says I am valuable before that thought pops up there's nothing here doesn't matter how many millions of people are thousands of people I'm helping it doesn't create anything in my experience unless I go to my imagination and say that means I'm valuable which I don't do but if I were to do right so if you cure cancer and think I have value and I have worth because I cured cancer in the beginning that will create a lot of pleasure yay I have value yay I have worth and then what's going to happen well then you still have judgments about your partner insecurities about your appearance insecurities about your looks worrying about others opinions thinking well how do I go from here I did that now but now what do I do with my life or anxiety about whatever it's not like that one thought I have value will take your attention in every single second right you can see this from your own experience anytime when you you may have thought if I get this job I'll be happy and for the first week or two weeks or a month you keep telling yourself that same story I did yeah I'm so happy and then that thought subsides and new thoughts take your attention that happens with everything that you ever get anytime you get anything you want thoughts pop up in the beginning and say yeah this is great and you lost a couple of thoughts that say my life isn't good enough because I don't have this job my life isn't good enough because I don't have a girlfriend because nobody loves me and then when they love you feel great in the beginning right and then that thought stops taking your attention and then all the new thoughts all the old thoughts start taking your attention again it's the same thing with like going on vacation when you go on vacation the new surroundings act as like a strong stimulus so that they take all of your attention in the beginning and then you think the place made you happy but it didn't it just distracted you from your thoughts in the beginning and if you stay there long enough all your old thoughts will come back and make you unhappy again so no matter what you do in your career or in life there will never be a point where you know you're worthy and valuable it will just be a thought that sometimes pops up in your head and in between when those that thought pops up you still have all the same suffering you still feel lacking and then on top of that as many people that have come to me have seen is if you had a goal in life so let's say make a certain amount of money or achieve partner at your company or something and then you're still feel lacking well then all of a sudden you create the story maybe I didn't do enough because if I did enough then I would be happy right if I was successful enough I would just feel fulfilled if I was valuable enough I would feel fulfilled if I was worthy enough I would feel happy and then we assumed I just need more money more success more impact I must not have done enough enough otherwise I would feel happy that value can't make you happy because there's no such thing so if you have a certain skill that doesn't mean you are valuable means you have a skill if you do something and cure something or or achieve something okay it doesn't mean you are great and valuable and worthy it just means that's what happened right you didn't determine your intellect you didn't determine where you will raise how you're born what your interests were or that people like you it's just what happened stop taking credit for it and thinking that means you're worthy because as long as you think any success means you're worthy and great you think failure means you're terrible and then you live your life with anxiety anxiety about what your boss thinks because I know what your coworker thinks all of it is just a failed attempt at trying to convince yourself you're worthy and valuable when there's actually no such thing in real life right show me your worth where is it show me your value how can you prove it to me right my nose exists in real life my hand exists in real life where's your value in your worth you'll never have it because there is no such thing in real life so that's all I'm going to say in this video I hope it makes sense to you I hope you understand it that when I say you're not valuable and worthy I don't mean you have you're unworthy and invaluable I'm saying there's no such thing we're completely ending the comparison there is no way to measure there is no tool to measure value or worth because there is no such thing so we have this idea of values up here and I'm down here or here or here or something but let's completely get rid of that whole scale because there is no such thing you can't be lower or higher on something that doesn't exist okay so that means you're okay as you are you're not missing anything now you're not unhappy because you don't have enough work you're not happy because you're not successful enough you're not unhappy because of any of that if you have any feelings of insufficiency or lack or anxiety or any of that it's simply because you're believing the thoughts in your head to be true and real when they're not so if you want to be free if you want to be feel sufficient and whole you simply need to question what thoughts are making you unhappy and feeling insufficient in any moment that those feelings arise so I hope this helps you with your anxiety let me know how it goes bye hello again if you found my video helpful or you enjoyed it I welcome you to click on one of the videos below as you might find them helpful as well or if you want to make sure you never miss another video of mine again you can click the subscribe button over there and if you want my free ebook you're welcome to click the free e-book button over there so thanks again for watching and I'll see you around bye

21 comments

  1. It’s so comforting to see that other relate. I recently got my first real job. I have an anxiety attack every time when I go. It’s all I think about before it, during it, after it. It feels like it takes over my life. My anxiety over it makes me nauseous and feel like I’m going to die sometimes, that’s how bad it is. I’ll sit and cry all day before I even have to be to work. It’s horrible. I can’t get a break and I feel like it’s taking over my life. All that I hope for right now is that in the months to come, I will get more comfortable in my job and with the people I work with.

    I have to go to work in about an hour and a half. I am terrified. I had a full on panic attack over it a few hours ago. Now I’m just trying to find comfort to get over it. I’m terrified because I never know what to expect in shift to come. I don’t understand how things work. I don’t know how to figure out what the tasks are for the day. I don’t know where to go half the time. I feel so uneducated and confused and I’m terrified to mess up. I already have at the job multiple times and it made me feel horrible. I dread going. Dread is an understatement. And I can quit but then I would just have to find another job and it would be the same thing. I feel trapped. I’m terrified and I just hope that I don’t feel this way in the next few months

  2. I actually love my job my boss loves me my managers love me and I am really good I do insurance sales, but I struggle from panic disorder and general anxiety disorder so I get anxiety that hits me at work sometimes I get episodes that lasts for weeks I can't stay at work I can't concentrate and it has nothing to do with my boss or coworkers it's just my anxiety in general I don't know what to do about it it makes me look bad and unreliable because I can't stay at my desk I leave early I don't know what to do if I wasn't good I probably would have been fired a long time ago

  3. This resonates so much with me. Thank you. “Worth” based on opinions is an illusion because it is just that: an opinion, something that exists in the mind. It is not reality. Wow. ❤️

  4. First time ive watched Noah, so calm and sensible and lovely to look at!
    feels very genuine, and he said some mind blowing stuff, that has really made me think
    will be repeating his mantra, thank you will now follow and subscribe.

  5. I know this video is 5years old and you may never see this comment IDC I just wanted to say thank you so much from the bottom of my heart for making this video and all your other ones. I just started a new job and have been struggling with my anxiety. I’m trying really hard to work on my positive self talk and self reflection but I still struggle and I think a lot of things you said helped me and made sense and I can’t wait to apply this to my life as best as I can and rewatching this video when I need a reminder. I can’t thank you enough! Thank you thank you thank you!!!!

  6. I recently started a new job hand washing cars and all I do is dread going. I'm scared of what others think of me, I'm scared of not performing well, and I'm scared of failing. I want to show my girlfriend and family I have value and I belong somewhere. I'm terrified if I fail my girlfriend will leave me and find someone else who can provide a better way of life for her. I have been miserable ever since I started working this job. I can't take any criticism without crying and trying to hide it from my co-workers. I cry myself to sleep some nights thinking about how I will eventually have to suck it up and deal with going into work everyday until the day I die.. I want everyone to know that you aren't alone and I wish there were more people who understood this feeling in our workplaces. I hope everyone finds peace and happiness one day.

  7. A lot of problems are these jackass employers. I recently started a part time warehouse production job. I got 2 nights training, so basically 1 day. They use rf scanners for everything. Ive been there for 2 weeks and come to find out I was incorrectly entering info the entire time because somehow I cant recall what I learned everything from training. The worst part is the job has something new that you havent done before every couple days and you have to use what you already learned to figure it out. Ive worked at a few places like this, im convinced it's normal so its no wonder theres anxiety and they are constantly running help wanted ads. Ive been working all my life, im just not cut out for working for someone else but im just stuck with it due to poor planning. Im a full time caretaker for a family member which is why I work part time. I basically just go blank going to work and think of them as they think of me………not very damn much.

  8. Thank you so much for this video Noah. I was about to have a panic attack because of my new job but this video really helped me. You are helping a lot of people through these videos. Thank you.

  9. I started my first job at popeyes in August I only lasted 4 days but when I think about it I'd think too much about messing up and getting looked at like im dumb and not good enough but when i got there id justt be focused on doing what I have to and when I messed up I didnt get too u comfortable I just kept going but then the next morning I'd just think about that error I made last time and I get scared and think about it too much so I ended up quitting but its also bevause I have to catch up with my school work its my senior year and I need that diploma and school got in the way especially since I thought about work too much. I wish I stayed but I still have this anxiety but we just have to not think about it and do what we have to to make that money and feel better on our free time

  10. I had a panic attack last week. First one in a long time. So my nerves have been raw and my confidence has been shaken quite a bit. I had allot of anxiety at work this morning which came and went in waves. I was afraid of having another panic attack, this time at work in front of my coworkers.

  11. I was always scared to get a job because I don't want to be in peoples way and inconvenience anyone. If I didn't know where ABSOLUTELY EVERY THING is in a retail place I should wait to even apply til after I learn so if someone asks they wouldnt be upset at me……Talk about overthinking! But it I did get a job not caring what others thought at first….but my fears came to pass. Idk where everything is and it frustrates customers when they ask and Idk…… 🙁 But hey not like I'm gonna get fired still making money and doing well lol

  12. Great video for the analytical side of our mind.
    Probably need to watch it a few more times for it to sink in to the emotional level.

  13. I think having a certain amount of anxiety and stress is normal. If you didn't have that you would be so worry free you would probably step in front of a bus.

  14. This is just post-modernism: nothing has value because the universe can be interpreted in an infinite number of ways. That is just not the reality we live in.

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