I feel so attached to my therapist, is that bad? Facebook Friday! #KatiFAQ | Kati Morton

– Hey, everybody. It’s finally Friday and I’m so glad that it is. This week, because it’s my first full week back after vacation, has just
been, like, so much stuff. So, I’m very glad that it’s Friday and I can sleep in tomorrow. I love to sleep in. That’s, like, one of my favorite things. Okay. Enough about me. Now, it’s on to you. So, since it’s Friday, for
any of you who are new, welcome to our community, and the way that this
works is four days a week I have FAQ videos on
different parts of the web. Like, Tuesday is Tumblr,
Wednesday, website, YouTube, Thursday, Twitter, Facebook, Friday. It’s kind of, you know, we use a little bit of, what is it called? Why can’t I think of the word? Alliteration, when you
use the first letter. Ba-ba-bum. And they’re all the same. Facebook Friday. So, today I have three questions, as well as a journal topic from Bethany. Thank you, Bethany, so much for that. And, in the new year,
I’ve also talked about on my reflection video, I’m trying to think of new ways to make videos and to keep it interesting and not do the same
old, same old, same old, ‘cuz it kinda (fart noise). You know, for me, it gets repetitive and I know, for many of you,
you like it when I do things that are a little different. So, if you have any ideas of
things that you’d like to see or if, maybe we just do Monday videos and then, I do another
one more video a week and we can cram other things
into it or, I don’t know. Let me know what you think, below. What would you like to see in 2015 as I start to kinda put
together my plan for it? So, anyway, first
question, let’s get going. Hi, Kati, I don’t know if
you’ll reply to this message, well, I am, but I’ve seen
your videos on YouTube and I’m not sure if I’m
experiencing transference. Now, transference, for
many of you who don’t know, pretty much anybody who’s
not in the therapy world may not know the definition. Transference is when we
transfer onto our therapists a relationship that we have previously had or we’re already having and we kind of recreate that in therapy, okay? So, like, if our therapist is a dude and our dad was a jerk and we
had a really bad relationship, we’ll try to kinda recreate
that with our therapist, and she said, I don’t know if
I’m experiencing transference, but I feel attached to my psychiatrist and I feel like I’m
starting to rely on him. I feel like I need more
appointments with him. I really hate feeling this way. I don’t know if I should
mention it to him or not, but I don’t want it to get out of control or turn into obsession. I found a picture of him online and now I keep looking at it. I know it might sound really strange. I don’t find him attractive
or anything like that, I just feel attached and
some kind of a connection. Is this common to experience
and should I tell him at our next appointment? Now, I wanted to talk about this because I get a lot of
questions around, like, I need to see my therapist
more, what do I do? I feel really attached to my therapist. And, it’s very normal. Often times, if our
therapist is helping us work through something
that’s been really difficult, maybe abuse, maybe a
really hard emotional time that we’re having, maybe it’s a breakup. It could be any number of things. It could be working on re-mothering us and helping us feel cared for. It could be any number of
things that your therapist works with you on every
week or twice a week, and, when we’re that
vulnerable with someone, it can make us, as the
client, it can cause us to feel really reliant on
them and very connected and, like, we need to see them more, and we can have all of these feelings, and that is very normal. It’s all part of the process, and as you’re feeling these things, I would encourage you to bring
it up with your therapist so that they know what you’re experiencing so that they can help you best, and then, you can talk
about it and it’s out there and we can sort of change
our patterns, right? ‘Cuz, often times, in
our past relationships, we weren’t as communicative
or as open or vulnerable as we are with our therapist, so it can create a healthier relationship by being honest and open. Now, it can be, and I would
encourage any of you– I don’t know if this is a
scenario for them or for you, but I’m just throwing it out there, sometimes those of us who
struggle with Borderline Personality Disorder, really
have a hard time with this and we can feel really
attached to our therapist and it can be really
hard for us to recognize the relationship
boundaries and we may feel, sometimes, off put by
the fact that we can’t see them all the time and there can be that
kind of feeling, too, and that’s very normal, and I would also express
that to your therapist, and know that it may be one of
the traits that’s coming out because, we know in Borderline,
we worry about people leaving us a lot and so, a
therapist is a helpful person in our life and we don’t want to lose them and so, we may fear so much
that we’re gonna lose them that, you know, we struggle
with that relationship. So, it’s very normal, I would definitely mention it, and I would also do some
soul searching on your own where you think about what
that person means to you and why do you feel so attached? Is it because you’ve
been vulnerable and open? Is it because they’re
the only one that listens to you right now? I think it’s important for
all of us to understand our attachments to people
and why we have them. It can help us have a little more, I don’t know, be softer with ourselves, which I think is important for all of us. If we recognize why, then we can kind of be soft with ourselves and say, well, that makes sense, you know. I’ve been wanting that for a
really long time, whatever. And so, that can really help. So, I would do those things. But know that it’s very normal. Okay, question number two. Now, this is a long question, so I just shortened it to the top and she asks, why are unhealthy
coping skills so contagious? I know this sounds like a stupid question. And then, she goes one, she
says, but I have a point. She talks about how, why do we go back to them or why do we want, when
we’re in environments where everybody’s using
unhealthy coping skills, why do we wanna try to use more or use the coping skills they’re using, or why do we want to use
them over and over and over? Why are they contagious? Now, I wanna talk about this
kind of like a timeline. So, the first thing being that when we struggle with something, we may not have been taught or been shown any healthy coping skills. That being talk about
it, journal about it, talk to friends or family about it, do arts and crafts, go for a walk, play with the dog. Our parents, in many ways, are
responsible for demonstrating healthy coping skills. Now, this can be parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, pastors, preachers, whoever is in our life,
teachers even, best friends. We can learn these
through a lot of avenues, but mostly, it’s our primary caregiver and if they’re not showing us those, we often find ourselves
using unhealthy ones that our brain figures out as a way for us to get through what we’re going through and these things are contagious, and I don’t even think I’d
use the word contagious, but I kind of like that, I’ve never thought of it that way, but I always say, we always go back to it. It’s almost like a habit because, and I talked about this before, but our brain is very adaptable. We are adaptable creatures and our brain, think of it like
a balloon filled with sand, and I’ve given this analogy before, if any of you have been
with me for a long time, you’ve heard this, but every time something happens to us, let’s think of these as
our two connectors, right? Something happens and this marble rolls in our little balloon of sand,
over to this other thing, which is what we do. So, we feel stressed
out, we drink alcohol. We feel stressed out, we drink alcohol. We keep doing it, and it
could be we self-harm, we stay at home and cry all night, it could be any number of things, any way that we cope unhealthily, and this marble gets deeper
and deeper into the sand. The sand on the sides is all built up and we’ve got this rut, right? And so, it’s really hard
for us to get our marble out of that rut and so,
that’s why when we try new coping skills, we find our marble inching towards that comfortable rut. It’s been running that rut for years and knows what to expect from that rut. And so, to get it out, we
have to try a lot harder, we have to try five things and we used to only need one. They won’t feel as good as that one thing, but we try five, we try ten things, we try 20 things, and it
can be really difficult, but the more we push it out, we’re creating new
healthy ruts that we want and we want our marble to go into those. Now, I know that analogy
is a little, like, what? But, it helps me understand
because I’m a visual learner and I like to picture that and it helps remind me why we keep trying to go back to these
unhealthy coping skills when we know better. ‘Cuz it’s not just
about us knowing better, we almost always know
better, unless we’re a child. Once we’re an adult and
we’ve learned new things, we know there’s better options out there, but we don’t know how
to get out of that rut and that’s why it helps
to have the support of a therapist, it
helps to try new things, and it helps to do it
over and over and over until we can get it out of there and start a whole new, healthy rut, okay? I hope that makes sense and helps. Okay, question number
three, let’s get going ‘cuz I’m taking a long time. Hey, Kati, how do I stop being so attached to my best friend? A lot of attachment today. It seems like I’m the
only one who truly loves and cares about the
other in this friendship, even though she says she loves
me and cares about me, too. I hate feeling like I’m the
one who always loves more. Now, I hear this from lots of you that it’s really a difficult
thing for you in relationships because you feel like you
care more, you do more, you sometimes won’t even say no to them, even if you’re already busy, you’ll make sure you’re there for them. You’ll go the extra mile. And, while I understand that, and we all hope to be and have such great friends like that, right? And, it’s great to have
a friend that you can always count on, but I would encourage you to assess a couple of things with me. The first being, if that
friend is not there for you when you really need them, then you may be investing a lot more in the friendship than them
and you may wanna scale back. You may wanna consider, maybe
I’m just too stressed out this weekend and I can’t go see them. Normally, I would just say
yes because I feel bad, but what about me? What’s best for me? I would ask you to take
time to consider that. To think about how you feel because we can’t be good in relationships and actually help people and give them what we want to give them, if we’re not giving that for ourselves because, long term, we’ll
burn out and we get tired and we get cranky and it’s just too much. So, I would ask you to assess that, to think about that. Second thing, I would also be curious as to how many relationships
this happens with in your life. Is this almost all of your friendships? Is this all of your
romantic relationships? Or, is this just this one person? Because those are two
very different things. So, if this is just this one person, I would just assess the relationship and I would speak to your friend about it. I would be honest. The more we communicate, the better. So, I would say things like, I put a lot into this
and I really love you and I really care about you, but sometimes, I just don’t
feel like it’s reciprocated. Is there anything we
can do to help this out? Or, I just want to talk to you about it, and do it in a non-attacking way so they feel like you can
actually talk about it and maybe they feel smothered, maybe they didn’t realize
you felt that way. We don’t know until we ask. So, I would start talking about it, but the other thing, the second part that I want to consider is that, sometimes, if it’s everybody, like I said, if that’s just
one person in our life, but if it’s everybody in our life, then we really have to assess ourselves. We have to talk to our therapist about it. It may be, I’ve had many of my patients who have Borderline Personality Disorder, feel this way a lot of the time, like they’re putting in all of the effort and then, they get
really mad and frustrated and kind of lash out and
will end the friendships and so, we try to work with them to understand how to communicate and how to talk about our emotions, realize our emotions, slow
our response rate down so that we can talk about it, figure it out, and heal the friendship, and actually make it stronger, rather than just cutting it off. So, I would consider those things, whether it’s just the one person and then, I’d really work on that, or if it’s everybody, then we really need to work on ourselves, and I think that’s
something that, honestly, I need to be reminded of in my life and, I think, all of us do. If something is happening to
us in all our relationships, if everybody’s mad at us all the time, we have to consider our part in it because what do they all have in common? Me. A relationship with me. But, if it’s just one person, then we really just need to
communicate with that person, we need to discuss it,
and we can work it out. So, I would just definitely talk to them, be honest, and I have not
doubt that this friend will understand and you
will work through it, okay? I hope that helps. If any of you’ve had this happen and you have words of wisdom,
let us know below, okay? Now, the journal topic because
this is getting really long. I’m sorry. Says, possible journal topic, my favorite line in the
movie, Into the Woods, is, quote, let the moment go. Don’t forget it for a moment, though. Just remembering that you had an and when you’re back to or,
makes the or mean more than it did before. Oh, it’s so rhyme-y and cute. I like it. It reminds me to think about
the good moments in my life when I’m having a hard time and also, it reminds me to move on. Now, rewind this back
and listen to it again. It’s a really cool quote. Thank you so much, Bethany, for that. I love you all. Have a wonderful weekend. Sleep in, relax, and recharge, and I’ll see you on Monday. Bye.

85 comments

  1. What does it mean when you like someone and when you realize they don't like you back you self harm is it?im gay and everyone I like is straight so that leads to a lot of cutting #KatiFAQ

  2. So @Kati Morton I'm still trying to figure this out… Your marble in a balloon in the sand was just a few too many things to visualize lol
    So, we go back to unhealthy coping skills because our brains are just used to them?
    Why then, if I'm around people who use other unhealthy skills do I want to use theirs? (Like wanting to purge even though I never normally compensate for bingeing) I guess I get jealous that their marble is stuck in a different rut than mine is and I would rather be there than be stuck in my typical one. I just don't understand why if I know someone else engaged in something it makes me want to do it more even though I know how unhealthy it is.

  3. Hi Kati 🙂

    Is it possible for you to make a video about ARFID? I know you have one about EDNOS but that's not the diagnosis anymore (thank goodness). I'm just tired of seeing people talking about EDs as only wanting to lose weight, making yourself vomit and so on, I feel left out a lot. I mean I have ARFID since my 3 (I'm 24) and only now I got a diagnosis (before I was wrongly diagnosed with OCD). I feel upset a lot because now I don't only need to deal with normal people, but with psychiatrists, nutritionists and therapists that don't have a clue of how to deal with me and ARFID (by now if i see my last therapist I start crying).

  4. I'm already so impatient to see if you will answer my questions on tumblr, i don't think i could handle videos only once a week lol, please make as many videos as you can! 🙂

  5. I totally get what you're talking about. I got really attached to my former therapist but that's just how I am sort of. It's been the same with so many adults. I think it's really harmful to me in the long run.what would you do to release that attachment? #katiFAQ

  6. Hi Kati😄 I realy love yor videos . #katifaq I was wondering if you had any advice to be able to be more trusting and open with a tharipist . I have had so many people give me reasons not to trust them. For instance I was bullied for 4 years straight and no one do any thing about is or let me talk to the principle. And my mom didn't even care. What should I do, I know it is Vidal in a thariputic relationship.

  7. I just stopped seeing a therapist because I ran out of therapy sessions and wow I think it may be a good thing to stop seeing him. During our last session I cried and told him that I would miss talking to him… it was kind of strange especially considering that otherwise I felt ready to end therapy (I felt significantly more able to deal with my past and everyday struggles than I did before, I guess I responded to therapy as well as a fish in water). I did find him attractive, both looks and personality wise, but I've never had anything even close to a romantic or sexual relationship before so how could it be transference? Our last session was a week ago and I do miss him a lot. Many of the problems I'm dealing with come from being physically & mentally abused by my father so I have to wonder if that factors in to my fondness for my therapist

  8. Maybe a weekly video with some sort of exercise? Like the Monday video but with focus on an exersice or some technique? 

  9. Transference has always been a big issue with me. Because of that I was afraid to open up in therapy. Maybe that was a mistake.

  10. The way u explain things is so amazing and helpful. And makes me feel I'm not alone in what I think/do
    I find myself getting attached to my therapists, I had a therapist when I was 17 she was my 1st therapist and I disclosed my sexual abuse for the first time ever even to myself!
    she was the only person that "got" me and listened. Then she left. It hurt me so so bad. And Iv never really got over it. Its been like 8years!
    It's kind of stupid and pathetic but I sometimes still think I wish I could see her again and I have tried to find her on social media sites etc. after she left I tried desperately to find her and would beg the receptionist to tell me where she moved to or to give me her mobile number but they wernt allowed to.
    Iv been diagnosed with BPD recently but Im not sure I have it??But I know it's a trate that u get really attached and feel like u put more effort in to friendships etc and always feel disappointed and let down. – this is my life!!! So maybe the diagnosis is right?? Anyway that's my experience of feeling attached to a therapist x

  11. Its good to get attached to people. WE are social beings. We live in a world where we are becoming inceasingly detached from those around us. We need attachedments. So maybe your feeling the benefits of this attachment. If your becoming obessed by this person, maybe that is what needs attention. It might be good to talk to your therapist about attachment. Be well and sending you love and peace. 

  12. I have to say ive been highly attached to teachers so much I cried so much when she left school but not so much therapist I don't like my therapist so I'm changing lol

  13. Hi Kati, thank you for making your videos. They always help me a lot and help to educate me. I hope this isn't a repeat question but can anxiety lead to aggression? I've been recovering from depression and anxiety for a while. My depression is under controle but due to a lot of stress in my life my anxiety has been acting up. Recently I noticed I get more and more irritable and angry. I thought at first this was just around my period (pms I've always had that) but now it happens even when my period is a long way away. Can anxiety lead to anger? Is this a bad coping mechanism I've created for myself? Or could this be a sign of something else?

  14. Hi Kati, a tip for the new year is perhaps making one-question videos instead of 3 question videos. Adding some cool pictures and effects in the background as well. Just my view 😀

  15. Howdy! Just thinking of videos ideas here.(: The possibility of recovery seems like a fairytale sometimes and makes it hard to hope for it and work towards it. Hearing other's journey with mental health struggles and how they are overcoming their stuff day by day inspires me to take one more step forward! It would be neat if you could interview a few individuals this year about their mental health struggles with a big emphasis on why they chose to recover and the steps they've taken to make that happen personally (therapy, books, groups, web resources, special people in their lives, ect). There are some videos out there but they are triggering more than anything and recovery isn't often the point. To me recovery is the beginning of an even bigger story. While it looks different for everyone I think we can take away a common hope, from these stories, in that recovery can be a reality. Thanks for everything!(:

  16. This video was SO comforting. I have BPD and have been struggling with being attached to my therapist. We've had many sessions talking about it, and I've overcome a lot when it comes to boundaries, though I'm still really reliant on her. I had a realization the other night (that I had been pushing down/avoiding) that I do things solely to make her happy… because I have no self esteem, and if it was up to me I would still be self harming, and most likely in the hospital. It's hard for me because my girlfriend and my mom get annoyed with the amount of times I mention my therapist. I talk about her daily, constantly…. because it's like a comfort blanket for me. Sort of as if to remind me to keep going, to stay motivated, so next session I can go in and tell her I accomplished ___ and she will be so proud. I've explained BPD to the best of my ability to my mom and girlfriend, but they can't seem to understand, especially when it comes to my therapist… because I put her on a pedestal, and I think it makes others feel less important. What can I do to help them better understand, because I need their support? #katiFAQ  

  17. Hey kati. Is it normal to forget you have a ed?? For example: I think befor I eat and some
    times I Skip meal but there are days where people will give me pizza or cookies and
    Ill eat everything they give me. Then I reazile what I ate and throw up or just cry. Thank you

  18. I would like it if you did more po box hauls I really liked the one that you did. Maybe once or twice a month?

  19. I still like the Q&A's, but I wish your Monday videos would be a little more in-depth. For me, a seasoned follower with an interest in psychology, they're usually a little too 'general'.
    If you're looking for something 'new', I really liked the series of interviews you did, like the one on LGBTQA!

  20. Wow the first question was so relatable ! I pretty much ended up in counselling about counselling..i'd get attached to one therapist then go to see another about the attachment then end up getting attached to the new therapist and so on ;P @Kati Morton  Morton thanks for your videos so much!

  21. Hi Katie, thank you for doing this video as I feel lost without my therapist. I have seen her every week for the last three years abs she has helped me deal with and heal from BPD. Not saying it will ever go away, but I have come a long way! Can you please do a video on Eating Disorders or eating strategies for those who have had weight loss surgery like myself? Any tips are most helpful, thank you!

  22. I feel I get overly attached to anything sentient. I would get overly attached with a pet cat or dog. I wouldn't know when to stop.

  23. Some would say I am experiencing transference from my feelings for an ex-teacher to my psychologist, but I end up realising that I just can't help myself being attached and attracted to older women who seem to "care" about me… And as my therapist thinks maybe it's time to end therapy I responded with a silence as I didn't know what to say… she doesn't know this partner of getting attach to people I shouldn't and I didn't want to talk about it cause I feel too ashamed. Why do I always end up "liking" people I can't have personal relationship with? (sigh)

  24. 3:54 Does she mean that she have borderline personality? I haven't watched a whole lot of her videos but isn't she a therapist?

  25. I know this is an old video, but, I am hoping someone will still see it. My psychiatrist (who has an AOT on me till next March) is moving from NY to California. I am angry and upset because I now will likely have a temporary doctor (my insurance only covers clinic visits so MDs come and go if not for the AOT I would be OK with him leaving as I'm used to it) However, because he took me to court to have meds forced on me and is now leaving me with someone who could potentially force me to take more potent drugs I don't need or want, I am upset. I don't even want to see him for a final appointment and I realize that is childish but it is how I feel. I don't know how to navigate a last visit.

  26. Kati, don't know if you'll see this, but if you get close to someone, but the relationship feels like you're holding on for dear life, is that a disorder or is it a result from losing so many friends and being isolated in the past?

  27. I don't think I'm overally attached to my therapist. I never want to see her more or anything like that. However, I still really like her as she is one of the nicest people I know. I feel like she knows me better than anyone else and she's so caring and sweet. Is that bad?

  28. I thought this presentation was going to be kind of 'goofy' but I found it excellent and full of insight. Thanks a lot.

  29. Damn I got attached to my School Counselor and she was like my mom I call her mom even infront of my real mom someone please helppp

  30. I luv u Katie id give anything 2ve ur happiness my lifes a horrible mess everytime I watch ur vids u take away my pain & educate me about myself wht u do is amazing ur a saint keep up the good work I luv u

  31. I can relate to never been shown healthy coping strategies, and now learning them in my 50's, is challenging, but Not impossible.

  32. I kinda have a crush on my therapist…… it's weird because I'm 13 and she's like 40 or 50 😣😣😣

  33. I hope you see this and reply back. So what if I feel attached to my psychiatrist and not my therapist? Is that normal and if I tell him would he not want to see me anymore?

  34. when someone says it's you, it's not me, fine. I know someone who is always right. Now,
    it's you it's not me… that is Not right. In this situation, I have become scarce,like therapist

  35. I think knowing Why you're attached to your therapist can also help you identify how you might be attached to others or Not attached to them (example: Therapist listening to us).
    This could also help us out in forming New relationships with others outside of the therapy session and the Therapist.

    Thanks for also sharing how we can break away from bad habits!

  36. Thinking about it logically, the unhealthy thing is the boundaries therapists have. Traumatised, isolated and abandoned people need close, loving relationships (not sexual) to heal the harm thats been done to them. So the client feeling attached is soooo normal. What isn't normal is the therapist becoming so closely involved in the thoughts and feelings of a person but then saying its not ok for that either person to feel attached. Theres something really inhumane about the way therapy tries to work.

  37. Its easy to do .and I didn't have a sexual desire for her , but I had so much respect for her and missed her company

  38. I had to break with my councellor because The relationship was just bad but then at The end Of The session she acctualy called me out on my lying And I got unsure but I am trying a new One if she does not work I might go back

  39. My therapist loves your videos ☺️ I showed them to her and she really likes that I’m educating myself alongside Therapie

  40. i'm really attached to a patient but i think i am managing it in practise, emotionally i'm feel concerned but i feel i don't want to talk to the nurses at work because i am worried it will make me look bad. i don't like to admit that i'm kinda vulnerable and human as well. ugh.

  41. Maybe you can help me with this. I've been in physical therapy for a while and the lady helping me is my age and we have a lot in common. Would it be odd to ask her if she wants to go get a drink or see a movie some time? I've never really felt this way with any of my counselors or doctors but with my pt its different. I don't want to risk getting her in trouble at her job or sound like a weirdo but I'd like to ask her on a date some time. Should I just prevent doing that or what? Maybe wait until my last appointment? Any help would be great, i just don't wamt her to get in trouble for me asking her if she wants to get a drink some day.

  42. I'm a bit attached to my therapist too. I mean, I look forward to the session every week because I love having the time to concentrate on myself and talk about my problems. And I feel like that therapist is the first that really listens to me. I just like when I feel acknowledged and listened to. Another reason is, my therapist sometimes says things that make me go 'oh, wow. I've never looked at it from that perspective'. My therapist is not extremely helpful, but she still is. She gives me stuff to think about and after our sessions I've been feeling better but at the same time also quite thoughtful. The sessions get me thinking about my own problems in more depth. I really needed someone that listens to my problems and reminds me there are problems I like to overlook cause my life is extremely busy and she does that. And I just like that kinda impact my therapist has on me and that's why I feel a bit attached to her. But I think it's not an unhealthy attachment.

  43. when i was depressed the only thing i looked forward to in the week was my therapy session and talking with him was the most friendly and encouraging time. nothing was going right in my life so i understandably got attached and i told him "you're the only thing i look forward to when i wake up". he then proceeded to help me find a job makkfmgkdkkgkk i need smt else to do 😂😂😂 honestly one of the best decisions ever and im so happy he made me start working in my field. truly blessed.

  44. I have had what I call "needy" friends or people who, who if I didn't set up boundaries, would want more from me that I am willing to give. If they ever approached me and wanted to talk about that, it would make me want to start slowly walking backwards and then bolt. If a friend is not giving you what you consider enough attention, it's that's way for a reason. Not that there is necessarily anything wrong with you but some friends are good for different things. Like 1 is good for advice, 1 for having lunch and laughing etc. I always have my friends' backs even if they annoy me. I can be counted on…but some I can only handle in small doses.

  45. Every time I research this it's suggested to tell my therapist about it. I wouldn't mind talking to a DIFFERENT therapist about how I feel about my current therapist, but really, really don't want to tell her. I struggle with social phobia and depression and don't want to give her any reason to treat me differently or drop me as a client. I don't even have friends or family here, she's all I've got. Trust me I know how far-fetched my worries sound, but she's the first therapist in 15 years I've not only liked but actually helped me make real progress and I don't want to mess it up. There's also the gender thing. We're both bi but honestly that makes it harder to say anything, not easier. I don't know how relevant it is to our work anyway; I already know I'll fall for anyone semi-attractive, nice to me, and older than me, have awful self-esteem and desperately want the approval of authority figures in my life. Wouldn't really stir up anything new except make me anxious about her response and sidetrack us from what we're working on right now.

  46. Why did my counselor have me stare into his eyes for five min. in the middle of my deep reflection?, then as soon as I did he smiled really big, which made me smile. it was really hard and I know I fidget a lot in those situations, so visibly distraught but he kept trying to get me to stare at him. and I've told him before that I have issues with staring. also he called me on the phone the day before and I've read that, that is not ethical, I guess. but he was just checking on me. can someone please give me some clarification?? I am probably blowing this out of proportion, but like I said I have issues with staring, so its really bothering me and would like any ideas other than what seems to me to be the obvious. also he than gave me a Chinese finger cuff, which he had both of us put our fingers into, that also gets to me cause I have issues with touching too, please someone help, I have been freaking out for 9 days now!!! I need to understand, id ask him but I don't see him for 2 weeks now. I cant stop reliving the incident and I cant stop talking to myself iv become a recluse again something I haven't done in 6 months, and high anxiety all the freaking time. thank you

  47. I sent an journal of my Feelings to my therapy and I feel like she didn't understand me. Instead of having me more sessions she referred me to another department

  48. You and me are connected, we are trying to stay connected, the message connects sometimes, im the person who suggests speaking to the camera, name is D.

  49. Haha i know this is an early video, but do you think you could do a video on Michael Jackson? I feel like he was a really misunderstood person, and i could learn a lot from his childhood and lifestyle.

  50. I don't really have any words of wisdom but I have BPD and I notice I do tend to put a lot into relationships. Even though the other person doesn't. So thank you for helping me notice that I do that.

  51. I have bpd and this is WORD FOR WORD how I feel man.

    P.S. ik this is an old video and no one will ever see this but oh well.

  52. I regret (as well as resent) that I'm forced to be as attached to my therapist as I am. If I ever had to stop seeing her I'd die is all.

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