I Hired A Speech Therapist To Fix My Boring Voice

hey I’m Kane I have a super monotone voice it might not come off that way in some videos because I edit out of all the pauses and gaps I never thought that it could be improved this month I am going to speak to a speech therapist to fix my boring voice in the past I’ve lost 40 pounds I’ve gotten a hair transplant and this is the most life-changing video I’ve ever made up Buzzbee tan you will see why one of my biggest insecurities that I don’t talk about and very nervous because what if I can’t change with all that said let’s jump into it let’s go meet our speech therapist my name is Amy I work on people who want to improve their speech singing to acting to presenting it’s not about the speed you don’t need to speak fast if you stop and you think exactly what you want to say your point can come across much more point I noticed a lot we talked about what’s called the power bottles which is right here you lecie politicians doing this you want them flailing all the way because then your ideas are flailing but if you have it right here what you need to do is really try this is your exclamation point what other things do you think I could improve on potentially potentially and you’ve left it right there I didn’t know if you were done with your sentence or not versus if you would have said so what other things would you like me to work on I would have gotten the clue like now it’s my turn to talk so especially for an interviewer another thing let’s work on yeah I contact because you keep looking up at my flashy light and it makes me want to be like what’s up that is something is something they are is very vulnerable for both of us but vulnerability is what makes for good content good conversation good dialogue I’m really nervous because at the very end of the month I’m giving a speech in front of over 500 universities students I really want to dig deep and apply everything I’ll learn to give the most inspiring and on a speech I’ve ever given one of the things I did is go out and talk to co-workers that I have asked him what they first thought of me when they first met me times that I met you yeah I thought you didn’t like me because your voice before I got to know you I was afraid of you because I always thought you were angry since your Mountain I don’t know what you’re feeling like are you mad are you frustrated are you happy you’re so busy and in so short the combination of that makes it sound like people are bothered you’ve known me the longest so we’re sitting next to each other as antarians well I didn’t think he likes me very much when I first met you you were always very helpful but you just seemed uninterested did you ever think I didn’t like the lack of interest I wasn’t sure if you liked me or not because I thought we were friends from the beginning friends from the beginning now I’m realizing a lot of stuff about my life that I did not know at what point did you know that that’s just my personality versus like that I don’t like you oh yeah were we friends then I’m so stressed I knew you were nice when you were sitting up the stages by yourself and I stopped oh I knew it look so nice just like get that in a fire do I have to hear that it took Ryan nine months to know that I didn’t hate him sucked I just think about all the potential friends that I could have made through the years I did not expect to get emotional about it my perception of the world is a lot different than how it actually is like I didn’t know so many people in my life felt the exact same way I don’t even know how to process this I love trying to fix things improving myself and growing as a person every chance I get working out getting fix miling more getting like pre-diabetes in check getting a hair transplant getting a personal assistant like all this stuff and one of the biggest issues that I had only now am I making a video about it I’m gonna attack this like a ninja by the end of this this is not going to be how I’m gonna be talking I need a break myself down to build myself up from the bottom up when you’re excited it’s like from here to here other people even sometimes will be like it’s communicated that I’m a gay you even if someone says something to you that’s wild or like uncalled for he’ll just be like a lot of the expressive as you get when you’re doing a comment or a statement where you want to sound confident your voice needs to go down my name is Amy I like how they come I like the moment or syllable right before the very end you’re on high low I like Dom I do want to learn to garden because I think that’s a really good skill great don’t drag out the last words either you just take your finger touch your thighs I started singing video in college that’s it okay and I will go to dinner or something oh my god that was so good Kangol be like it was pretty good you always say stuff is pretty good when it’s excellent what is it gonna take for you to be mean I really need to watch my car because it’s really dirty Nana Nana Nana Nana Nana Nana Nana Nana Nana no words I really need to watch my car because it’s so dirt so when I took your words out you use every other part of language to get your point across yeah every parts of language our intonation our stress how am i with compliment it still just very dry I said your make it look good today yeah yeah your makeup I mean but I’m extra so I want you to be like come on face okay lipstick that’s how you give compliment is the thing in my mind that’s why I’m taking it seriously yeah oh really like how the way cuff pulls up on your shirt that’s so different I’ve never seen that but that is different and I was authentic about that I’ve never seen a shirt that came like that thank you but I wouldn’t want to see and that was your compliment and you felt it from me [Music] you’ve given me several gifts through the years I gave you a Polaroid well doesn’t think I think you genuinely did enjoy the kit I did Brady’s a good gift giver I think what you said was like I’ve always wanted one because I know that that’s not you are I know that you did like it I agree to that happy birthday thank you you’re finding the one piece of truth in whatever it is that you wanted to compliment Wow yeah thanks so much yeah literally every single session with Amy I have a new revelation it’s mind blowing week to lots of stuff is being thrown at me I know you went on vacation so I would ask oh so like where are you going Haeju really oh cool like are you going with friends yeah some Kotchman really whoa finding the genuine interest in someone else that’s the thing that is going to spark more conversation so tell me [Music] that’s already something that I’m interested about we’re gonna talk about getting what you want this is one thing that I know I’m bad at I feel like I asked for help but I don’t know how to do that in a sweet and Deering way think about why a waiter is so friendly because they want it when you want something the complimenting of the ability that you were trying to get the help with and love to your work that you did on last week’s video I would be so appreciative if you could do it to get from line that can be asking their advice you know so much about this I don’t know anything about this is there any way you would be willing to tell me and really value your opinion you make very hot minute emotion I almost when they’re like it’d be interesting if people watched your work and then met you and like are you they imagined or something as I was leaving her next clients recognized me I literally was like yeah I am nice to meet you I waved and I ran that I don’t like them you know they take the same amount of time if you stop change directions one introduce yourself to ask their name three close it out why am I so awkward I’ve already been more emotional than I have in the past like five years feeling a lot of feelings they don’t know how to do likes you are probably one of the best communicators that I’ve met if not like in the past few weeks have you noticed anything different given the amount of stress that you’re under getting a lot of really amazing things out you’ve seemed very positive grateful for any time there’s been a problem that you then need to go to a bunch of people to work around there’s been like a real level of gratitude and appreciation and lightness that I have seen ya how to talk to of somebody who’s helping you out the three things to tell them number one this is the thing you did do and I liked it so it gives them that confidence boost so they’re going into it with a smile if I’m talking about your outfit today I really like your outfit I love how that pink hat brings out your cheeks I mean and now the thing that I want you to change I love to see you in a blue hat let’s see what that does to your ass yeah because if I just came to you and said you should try a blue hat things like oh my gosh gonna wear this hat I’m so bad at building rapport and all aspects of my life also I inherently don’t think I’m that interesting this is where I’m saying you don’t have to live you’re like five myself so interesting you could be self-deprecating I don’t know how to do that tell me five things that just aren’t very awesome about you I am horrible at communicating I probably work too much I have really oily skin I have weak knees I’m like really messy if you’re in there oh you’ve got such a beautiful home so perfect to be a techie a total slob at all that makes people feel at ease when they realize like oh you’re not perfect either what do therapist ask how do you feel so it’s open-ended very similar to tell me about yourself tell me what’s going on thank you I think part of being getting in the closet throughout my life has prevented me from being able to be vulnerable you talking about it how’s it make you feel about it I think it makes me feel like it’s not totally like would have been really eye-opening and life-changing your Epiphany today who showed your kiss money yeah like what do I do also no that’s finally the reason why it’s huge you said something so key in there you said maybe it’s not my fault but it’s not your fault and that’s a big deal to take off some of the pressure and stress – it’s something about crying and opening up and being able in a rule like they’re all tied to my speech pattern I did not know this video was gonna turn into this like about me coming out like what the this is crazy being in the closet for so long I just kept trying to deflect attention for myself I finally know what I need the speech that I’m giving in two weeks needs to be about I’m a pretty private person so opening up like this honestly is really scary but I know I got to do it I’m directing a 30-minute scripted video I have not directed a scripted thing in two years I’m hoping that what Amy teaches will help me on set to make sure the whole thing and all of a sudden it will be so much easier to tell them what you need to tell me I had a table read yesterday the genuine compliments openness to hear their input I think has really been helpful have you seen any changes when you compliment like me and shame like I like to guys to death let’s try it again in the middle of it you said Brian I like the pizza line said those are like those and it was simple that was it okay small talk before and totally like 180 you a psycho so that was a date in life and then I was like wow if I met you today I would think that he likes me right on the bag I think you warmed up a lot but you like smile more you think out loud a lot more than you used to do I feel like you’re going down like the right path I think a way that you express affection for people is demonstrating that you have faith in their skills or they like you respect what they can do like the way that you work with Kevin RDP it’s very clear that you think very highly of him and you’re like partnering with him honoring people and respect is a big part of how you really I mean I definitely like that you noticed that the only reason I’m able to trust you guys to do it is because for Kevin like all the shots are two to three times better than I imagined makes my job a lot easier too and same with you Brian like you care about the character and the lines and how it’s coming off you’re always like super fun and chill to work with you I’ve definitely seen improvement you’re gonna be like an actual conversation your speeches yeah you did I just wrapped the very last day of my scripted video I love that they picked up on me trusting them in their creativity I felt emotional like hearing that because that’s what I wanted out of this process the fact that they said yes to joining me on this journey ultimately does show that they do want to work with me now that that’s down I’m gonna switch my focus to prep for my speech holy I am still writing my script right now the most important thing is structuring the speech have something important to say before you can sound good saying it so all italicize where the emotion is going to be when I talk I do this like leaning back and forth thing is there anything I can do to not either put the weight on one foot and barely have your other toe there and get a highlighter and just highlight the parts that are fun your cadence is up you’re not monotone at all I’m happy with the speech I am exposing myself a hundred percent I’ve mentioned stuff that I have not even talked to my close friends about I’m nervous but I think this is what I have to do like this whole speech and this whole experience in this video is about opening up and not being afraid to be vulnerable [Music] hey Boston University I am Caine and I will be on your campus tomorrow at 6:30 p.m. along with a few other Asian American guests I’ll be sharing a lot of intimate stories that I’ve never ever shared before and they’ll be a Q&A after an amine green and I’ll see you there coming up so I am in my hotel room in Boston the city is so cool I just want to feel as comfortable as I can with the words so they have impact I hope I don’t choke what if I choke thing I hope that the students get something out of it see y’all tomorrow let’s give a warm welcome to can’t give I want to start off by apologizing to all the people that I spoken to in the past in auditoriums just like this I wasn’t being honest with them I used to teach finding your voice as if once you find it you’re done but the truth is I’m still finding mine at six years old bright-eyed and bushy-tailed my parents and I were invited to go to my teachers classroom after hours as we sat in that colorful classroom in the miniature wooden chairs my teacher told my mom and my dad King asked too many questions they wanted their kid to thrive in this foreign school system and they looked me in the eye and said white momentum play which translates to canes stop asking questions and so as a six-year-old kid I quieted my voice and hid away my curiosity be mean is a Chinese term that means to save face and it describes the links an individual will go to in order to preserve their established position in society at 19 years old after my freshman year of college I got my braces off finally and I was a dancer and I was feeling sexy AF and I was ready I was ready for my first kiss but who do I kiss I was nowhere near out of the closet I couldn’t even say the word gay out loud and so I jumped on Craigslist I actually met the sweetest boy I’d ever met eventually he asked me to be his boyfriend but remember I had to be mean right and I told him no because I didn’t think that it would be possible a week later I mustered enough courage to ask him to be my boyfriend at 19 years old I finally started raising my voice just a little bit and started to explore my curiosity at 23 years old one day I was sitting with my mom and she asked me Caine when are you gonna get a girlfriend and instead of nodding like I normally would and letting it go away I told her mom I’m gay I don’t want a girlfriend I already have a boyfriend and she didn’t take it well the thing that hurt me the most was she said came don’t tell your father don’t tell anyone keep it inside and for the first time in my life I saw that my mom was embarrassed by me instead of saving face I let mine show and it wasn’t a face that she recognized as her son a month ago I read a comment and it wasn’t the first time why is Kane so monotone and that triggered a deep-seated insecurity that I wasn’t engaging enough when I spoke and so I did what any other good BuzzFeed er would do I decided to make a video and it would be titled I hired a speech therapist to fix my boring voice she had me sit down with a bunch of people and asked them what did you first think of me when we first met to my utter shock and horror every single person thought that I didn’t like them when we first met one of my Coker’s thought I didn’t like him for nine months that’s the time it takes for a human to be formed my best friend Freddie she said that she also thought I’d him like her for months and by at that point I thought we were besties my old voice was direct it was Stern it made people believe that I wasn’t playful or that I was too busy to be bothered I had to face the fact that people thought I was the Grinch who stole Christmas when I thought I was Cindy Lou one particular day in one of my sessions with Amy I had an epiphany one that would change everything going into this month-long experience I thought that my lack of communication skills was because of my cultural background or that English was my second language I never considered the fact that being in the closet for so long and hiding so much of myself that I accidentally hid away part of my personality and only now sixteen years down the line am I starting to uncover it I’m sorry that I used to think identity and voice were outward check boxes it’s every single building block every encounter that we’ve had every bully everyone that’s told us to shut up and sit down every crush or heartbreak we’ve ever felt every misunderstanding and attempts to fix it every time we face our fears and all the times we run away from it every compliment that we’ve given and received every truth and lie we’ve ever told and every time we apologize please don’t let others quiet your voice and always remember to embrace your curiosity and if we need to show our face instead of saving it it might be the only way for us to honestly grow thank you [Applause] [Music]

100 comments

  1. My grandpa always used to tell me that "colouring" my voice, or using hand gestures, extending the syllables and using emotion is bad. He thought it was "gay" and that only women talk like that. It was a huge insecurity of mine for a long time, especially the hand gestures, because I use them a lot when giving a description of something or when trying to explain my thoughts etc and kids in school would often make fun of me. Thus, I was really surprised that someone would want to colour their voice and put emotion in it, a really boring way of speaking is considered traditionally "masculine", I'm so proud of you Kane!

  2. Not a coming out story, but a similar one. I've been studying in a good university for more than 3 years now. Initially, I was very vocal about my opinions. But after a few months, I feel like I've been silenced. It's like you're only allowed to speak the right opinion, which is a very liberal one. And while my political views are generally left leaning, I have some reservations. I think it's okay to joke about things that would be considered hurtful by SJW standards. I also think it's not okay for people who are not part of a minority group to not accept liability for the actions they did not intend to do (for example, automatically being racist because you're white or automatically being toxic because you're male), because that is rooted in problems in our society and not an individual problem. Calling them out will only fuel a divisive society. But my college has made me feel afraid to speak out because if I did, I would be mobbed by SJWs and even more, I may be dropped from uni due to pressure. It didn't help that people in my school had Twitter accounts that called out every viral tweet that were only slightly problematic. It became a situation where I would only comment if I agree with them or totally ignore them at all. Because of that mentality, I developed anxiety and a weird speech pattern that made it seem like I'm not sure about the things I'm saying. That is why people question why I have good essays, but whenever I speak in front, it's like I don't have anything to say.

  3. I found this video very helpful and has me considering speech therapy. I'm super awkward and sometimes I cannot communicate well what I'm thinking because I don't know how to put it in words so that the person I have communication with can understand exactly and not leave me feeling like I could have explained something better.

  4. 🥝🍉🍌🍇🧀🥩🥓🍖🥤🥤 here’s some delicious food

    Cost: 1 like
    Cost for the kiwi: 1 sub

  5. Great video! I'm conflicted, because I have the same exact issue. I'm a huge introvert. I have to literally tell people, especially younger people from the more sensitive generations, that they shouldn't try to read my expressions and I'm friendly and a huge goofball once you take the time to get to know me. It helps me manage without changing myself for others. Because you have to wonder which is the case. In the end you apologized? Why should you apologize for who you are? Was there something wrong with your voice or is there something wrong with people? Because it kind of seems like you are changing your voice/expressions to cater to extroverts. To reassure them. Once you begin to act, using these new extroverted communication methods, will your expressions come across as not genuine to those who now know you? Maybe your colleagues shouldn't have been so quick to judge you/your expressions and take time to get to know you? Maybe they shouldn't be so insecure and immediately jump to "oh my God he didn't smile so he hates me!" Should the friend who is "extra" calm down a little to cater to laid back people like you? Why did YOU need to change?

  6. He seems like a genuine good guy, but the only expression he has is a awkward smiling face that makes him extremely boring and unattractive. Hope he'll make it.

  7. I think men need male voice therapist and women need female voice therapist because the guy might speak like a woman and the girl speak like a man.

  8. Your final speech was beautiful! Your jokes had a much better flow than before and you did a really good job conveying emotion, I'm proud of you!

  9. Kane and I are literally the same person. I'm private, I'm monotone, I can be dismissive, people are always questioning whether I like them or not.. maybe seeing a speech therapist isn't a bad thing.

  10. This was such an endearing, sweet, moving video, and I really appreciate your vulnerability here, Kane.

  11. I am also very insecure about my voice. I just hide it by being a good listener. It's not pretense, though. I honestly enjoy listening to people.

  12. I just realized I had a monotone voice. I’ve been told a few years ago but didn’t pay any attention to it and now I just met a new friend and she constantly brings it up so I looked it up and now I’m here.

    I absolutely hate it and wish I could just change it.

  13. This guy is literally me. People think I don't like them when I actually wanna be friends 😂

  14. I would be a telepathic than speaking with my actual voice due to people assume I have monotone voice.

  15. I don't think he needs to be fixed… I hate it when people talk too dramatically… Maybe it's cuz I'm not American

  16. Wish Kane would stop trying to change himself and gets over his insecurities. He's cool and looks good how he is 🙁

  17. I have a monotone and a blank stare face. Everyone I know has said: You look like you're on your way to kill someone.

  18. I loved this video, specially the speech part, so moving. Kane, you seen very sweet, and you have a beautiful calming voice that has only improved with the training. Congrats!

  19. It’s weird I’ve been saying to people how I hate that I speak in monotone…then yt recommends this 😂

  20. If no one else has said it already, let me; You are a LEGEND. I mean that. Watching your journey from the beginning to the end, I'm utterly stunned. Watching a life transform right before my eyes. Two very different versions of the same person, the latter being one that has inspired me so much. Thank you for sharing your journey.
    PS: I want to start making YouTube videos but I'm not yet comfortable talking to a camera but I have learned a lot from Amy and definitely feel more confident to start.

  21. Did you realise when you were self conscious or nervous you upspoke a lot? In your other videos you were fine though.

  22. This is not a speech therapist, she is a vocal coach. Speech therapists (more accurately called speech-language pathologists) must complete a masters degree and clinical fellowship, whereas vocal coaches may not even require a bachelors degree. I would suggest going to a speech pathologist and getting a full evaluation before you try and “change your voice”

  23. This really hit home to me. I have same issues and i'm aware of it and maybe it adds up from my stammering problem and being an introvert. I need to do better.

  24. He seems to talk at the same pace and with a bored tone when he tries to be clear like he trying to say each word right sometimes.

  25. Omg I have the exact same set of problems. So much to work on. Like the point about stopping to think what to say – I noticed at this moment she held his attention with eye contact. I can’t think my own thoughts while looking at someone. It’s too distracting. I have to look down while I find the words. To be honest I usually shield my face with my hands at this moment, and then they always cut in. And then it’s gone. I’ve lost my train of thought altogether because they straight away change the subject in one swift maneuver, which feels like an underhand tactic to dominate the conversation but is more likely they think the subject must have been upsetting for me and take it upon themselves to put me out of the agony.

  26. 2:24 omg again! In his feedback he got “too busy and too short” 😦I’ve always tried to be concise so as not to waist their time…I didn’t realize that reads as I don’t want to waist my OWN time! 😱

  27. My friend send me this video. I didn’t understand what he meant by it until the guy said that it sounds like he is extra in his head. I am still learning how to use my voice and this is making me think that I need some help to further this journey.

  28. That speech therapist has that personality type that really stresses me out. Whenever I meet a person like that I'm just like: yeah, this is too much, I need to get out of here.

  29. I tend to have a flat monotone vioce when I was younger I was told that I sounded like the pokemon Mew Two and but what it comes to what I think of it I think my vioce sounds like either The Terminator or an android.

  30. First. Kane is a doll. You can tell he’s smart, sweet and caring. He just sounds west coast chill to me. I love him being so open. It’s brave. About EVERYTHING. As an extremely Extroverted person, I’m proud of him. We still need calm people in this world 🌍

    To all introverts, you complete me.🧡

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