Joker & Harley – Couples Therapy (Suicide Squad) – TOON SANDWICH

[THERAPIST]
So you feel that there are aspects of your
relationship you can improve upon? [THERAPIST]
Well, that’s what couples therapy is all about. I suggested electroshock therapy, but whatever. Sometimes I feel like the affection
is a little one-sided. Well I could certainly use some more affection. I meant the other side. Oh, what are you talking about? I fried your brain, I forced you to strip
for my gangster pals, I threw you into a vat of toxic chemicals… I mean- what more do I have to do to prove that I care? [THERAPIST]
And how did that make you feel Harley? [THERAPIST]
Being thrown into a vat of toxic chemicals? Wet. Acidic. Slightly irradiated? [THERAPIST]
No, how did it feel emotionally? I guess I felt a little hurt. A “little” hurt? Well, obviously I didn’t do it right. Well it wasn’t what I had in mind
for our first date! He didn’t even bring a towel. You gotta let that stuff soak in –
it’s how I got my sunny complexion. Ooh! It’s bright in here! [THERAPIST]
And Joker, how do you view
your relationship with Harley? [THERAPIST]
Is there anything you’re unhappy about? I don’t like the fact that she has
so many male friends. We’re not friends, Puddin. We’re a squad! Oh yeah, the “Suicide Squad”! You don’t need a squad to commit suicide! I can give you suicide! I can give you homicide, genocide, felicide… There are so many ‘cides to me that you never see cos you’re out skankin’ it up with your man squad! Hey! You bought me these clothes, pervert! Even plastered your property tag
on the back of my jacket! Look at all these tattoos! Skulls, playing cards, his own name just in case he gets
lost in the supermarket. But you won’t find a single “Harley Quinn” anywhere! Depends on how hard you’re looking. Hey! Mother? When was the last time you even saw your mother? Last Feb when I killed her and fed her to y– …me. [GASP] I knew there was something off about that
Valentine’s Day casserole. You never cook! I cook when it’s family! [THERAPIST]
Joker has a point though, doesn’t he Harley? You do have a history of falling for
unlawful men in your proximity. [NERVOUS CHUCKLE] Let’s try and keep this professional. Venturing into unfamiliar territory? If he didn’t want me on the squad, he should have rescued me from the prison
at the very start! I was busy!
I have a life outside of you, you know. Oh, how could I forget? Speaking of spending too much time with other men, how’s Batman these days? He’s not a friend. He’s a nemesis! My life’s mission is to destroy him! And all he holds dear! I thought I was you life’s mission! Now I have to share you with a nemesis? You know, if you weren’t out all last night
searching for Batman you wouldn’t have missed the Gotham Bachelor finale! You promised you’d watch it with me! Oh, I hate that Bruce Wayne! I can’t believe he chose Pamela over Selina. What?! [THERAPIST]
Harley, you used to be a psychiatrist yourself. Before Joker turned you via
physical and pyschological abuse. Hey, hey! Don’t put ideas in my head, Doc! [JOKER LAUGH] [COUGHS] Dammit! I’m still working on the laugh. [THERAPIST]
But seriously, how would Dr. Harleen Quinzel– [THERAPIST]
…ridiculous name… [THERAPIST]
–characterise this relationship? Just a second, I’ll ask her. The number you have dialled has been disconected. Please check the number and try again. Well, you know what they say
about an apple a day. How do you like them apples? [STARTS LAUGHING, CHOKES] Ah, forget it. How did Ledger do it? [THERAPIST]
Well I believe we’ve made some progress today. [THERAPIST]
So here’s what I suggest: [THERAPIST]
Find a way to reconnect with each other
through an activity. [THERAPIST]
Ask yourselves, what do you enjoy doing together? [THERAPIST]
What brings you mutual satisfaction? [THERAPIST]
That’s your homework for tonight. I think we just had a breakthrough! [MUFFLED SCREAM] [BATMAN]
Hello Doctor. Where can I find Joker and Harley Quinn? [THERAPIST]
You know I can’t tell you that. Doctor/patient confidentiality. [BATMAN]
Doctor, I’m growing im-patient. [THERAPIST]
You seem very determined to stop these two. Almost as if by doing so, you hope to prove something to yourself? [BATMAN]
Nice try, doctor. I know how you therapists operate, and believe me: this has nothing whatsoever to do with my dead parents and the fact that I failed them. [THERAPIST]
I see. And why do you think you failed them? [BATMAN]
Oh, what? Am I on your couch now? [COUCH NOISE] What the? How did I get on this couch?? [THERAPIST]
Just relax, and we’ll start at the beginning. When did you realise you were a bat
trapped in a mans body? A “trans-bat”, if you will. [BATMAN]
I’m a boy. I fall down a well. It’s different every time I remember it. Sometimes there’s one bat. Sometimes there’s hundreds. Sometimes I’m… floating upwards with the bats? I… Those ones are pretty weird. But listen, Doc… [THERAPIST]
Oh, please – call me Martha. [BATMAN]
Martha? What? Why’d you say that name? Why’d you say that name?? WHY’D YOU SAY THAT NAME?? WHY’D YOU SAY THAT NAME!!! MARTHAAAAAA!!!! [PHONE PICK-UP] [THERAPIST]
Ethel? Clear my schedule.

100 comments

  1. Watching this after watching Joker slap and throw Harley out of a window.
    Also 2:45 her shirt changes to Deathsrtoke Lil Monster

  2. A abuse toxic man. Toxic man narrastic manipulate man joker poser. Never let a man try to change you ladies.
    Doesn't Paris Jackson like Harley Quinn clown lol lmaf

  3. Yeah I'm going to need a lot, I very thinicky for A Cat. Especially Orange like Garfield. But one of a clock work. Very pricey. Can't give Joker bad dreams. To make him behave. Need more Special Cat Stuff for that. Meow, ahkk ahkkk ahakk, Hairball, and yes I have coffed them up. Ass Clown. Green Jell-O Time, from Oz!

  4. Yeah if the Joker wasn't so Gay then they wouldn't have this Problem. Its really the Last thing you can do to scare a person like him. Go all Gonzo Dildos out. And Balls deep in, to the point we're He is All Cowboy Super Star, he needs the Machismo, he Needs to be The Macho Man. And your to much of a Woman for him Harly. Start growing your Handle bars.

  5. "Look at all these tattoos. Skulls, playing cards, his own name…just in case he gets lost in the supermarket…"

  6. i get its supposed to be just fun, but the person writing the script just saw the crappy suicide squad movie and ended there. Potential wasted… there could have been better jokes/references πŸ˜€

  7. β€œHeahe- o forget it how did ledger go it”
    That’s what Leto should have asked himself more πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

  8. Joker:Oh i hate that Bruce Wayne! I Can't Belive he Chose Pamela over Selina!
    Joker:what?!
    Me:What!?

  9. I have one improvement switch to the real Joker and guess which one that is, who ever gets it right is a true Joker fan

  10. I wish jared leto’s joker was sick and twisted enough to feed his mother to his girlfriend. Sadly he’s not

  11. I bet this is what happened between suicide squad and birds and prey. This is probably what broke them up in birds of prey

  12. HE DIDN'T CHOOSE SELIENA 😫😣😀😲😨😱😭😒😒😭😬😟😒😭

  13. 1.4 million views and I'm sure there's ppl who watch this repeatedly.
    It doesn't cost a thing to hit the like button. Come on, you know you want tooooo….

  14. Ahhh the suicide squad you don't need a squad to commit suicide I can give you suicide, I can give you homicide, genocide, felicide. There're so many sides to me, that you never see cuz you to busy skanking it out with your man squad . 0:58

  15. 2:32 that was the worst joker laugh I’ve ever heard in my entire life lol πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

  16. κ·ΈλŒ€μ‹  μ• μΉ­μžŒγ…‹γ…‹γ…‹ 푸딩ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ푸딩은 λ‚˜ 반 쀑에 반μž₯ 별λͺ…이 ν‘Έλ”©μΈλŽˆγ…‹γ…‹γ…‹γ…‹γ…‹γ…‹γ…‹γ…‹

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