Key & Peele – Proud Thug

– OKAY,
LET’S GET THIS THING GOING. EVERYBODY TAKE A SEAT. WE GOT TO HAVE
MORE MEETINGS, HOMES, ‘CAUSE I’M TELLING YOU, MAN,
WE GOT TO GET ORGANIZED. [sighs] [police sirens in the distance] CARLITO AIN’T GOT A SEAT, MAN.
SOMEONE GET HIM A CHAIR. – NO, I’M COOL. – NO, DUDE, GET HIM A CHAIR,
HOMES. – I’M GONNA SIT GANGSTER. – BUT, CARLITO, IT DOESN’T LOOK
LIKE IT’S COMFORTABLE, MAN. WHY DON’T YOU
JUST SIT IN THE CHAIR? – I NEVER SIT
IN NO CHAIR, ESE. MM-MMM. YOU NEVER, EVER GON’ CATCH ME
SITTING IN NO CHAIRS. – HEY, ESE, YOU KNOW THAT
THAT’S LOCO, RIGHT? – NO, MAN.
[scoffs] – IT’S COOL, CARLITO. NO ONE’S GONNA THINK
YOU’RE SOFT IF YOU SIT IN A CHAIR, HOMES.
– YEAH, YEAH. – WE’RE ALL SITTING IN CHAIRS.
– RIGHT. – BUNCH OF BITCH-ASS CULEROS. – QUE?
– I DON’T HAVE NO TIME TO SIT IN NO [bleep] CHAIR. – OKAY. NOW THAT WE’RE ALL HERE– YOU KNOW WHAT?
BUT WHY, THOUGH? LIKE, IT DON’T MAKE NO SENSE
FOR YOU TO SET YOURSELF UP WITH A RULE LIKE THAT. – NO, IT’S, LIKE, LIMITING.
– YEAH, LIMITING. – LIMITING.
– I MEAN, SOMETIMES, PEOPLE SIT IN CHAIRS. – MAN, [bleep] ALL OF YOU GUYS
WITH YOUR BITCH-ASS CHAIRS. [wood cracks] – THERE.
– [scoffs] – OKAY, CARLITO, QUIT PLAYING
AND SIT IN THE CHAIR, PENDEJO. – NO.
– CARLITO, WE HAVE TO HAVE THIS MEETING
NOW, ESE. GET UP! – I’M GOOD RIGHT HERE, MAN. – YOU KNOW–
– I’M CHILLING. GO AHEAD WITH YOUR MEETING. – OKAY, BUT YOU KNOW
IT’S GOING TO BE WEIRD. YOU DON’T CARE
THAT IT’S GOING TO BE WEIRD? – WEIRD FOR YOU, MAYBE. – HE DOESN’T CARE.
OKAY. OKAY, HOMIES,
SO THIS IS WHAT WE HAVE TO DO, LIKE, WE GOT TO SELL
MORE DRUGS… – [groaning]
– AND WE GOT TO MAKE MORE CRIMES HAPPEN. ROBERTO, WHERE ARE WE–
– [groaning] – CARLITO,
YOU’RE BLEEDING, ESE! – [grunts]
WHO CARES, MAN? [winces] – YO, WHOA!
YOU JUST GOT SHANKED, MAN! WE GOT TO PULL THAT OUT!
– LEAVE IT! I’M CHILLING, HOMES. I DON’T CARE
ABOUT THAT STUPID SHANK. [groaning] [exhales] – CARLITO. CARLITO, WAKE UP, MAN! [radio chatter] – HEY,
DON’T EVEN BOTHER, ESE. – WHAT?
[screams] OH, DIOS MIO! – I DON’T NEED
THOSE DEFIBRILLATORS. I DON’T EVEN WANT TO COME BACK
TO LIFE, HOMES. – CARLITO,
GO BACK INTO YOUR BODY. – MY BODY’S STUPID, HOMES.
– WHAT? – I’M FINE RIGHT HERE
ON THE SPIRIT PLANE. LIFE IS FOR PUSSIES. [heavenly singing] – CARLITO.
CARLITO, GO TO THE LIGHT. – NAH, I’M GOOD, MAN. – CARLITO,
THAT’S HEAVEN, MAN. – I DON’T NEED TO GO
TO HEAVEN, HOMES. HEAVEN IS FOR PUSSIES.
– OH, BOY.

100 comments

  1. I am so hooked on these shows!!
    Anyone else supposed to be doing something else but instead watching these??
    Please like if you do

  2. I used to be just like you ay.
    Thought I was to cool to sit down.
    Then.
    One day! A Table Shanked Me To Death!
    Consequences.

  3. I know this is a funny skit, but I want to make a serious note: if you really get stabbed, don't pull the object out! It'll only make the bleeding much worse.

    Carlito: Whatever, man, bleeding's for weaklings.

  4. These 2 MFs play mexican gangsters almost better than real mexican gangsters. I didnt like key and peele at 1st til i saw "loco gangsterz" lol

  5. They are some real homies, always trying to steer Carlito on the right path despite his delusional outlook. Even calling 911 to try and revive him and telling him to go to heaven.

  6. Carlito: I'm chillin homes
    Gang leader: Carlito go into the light
    Carlito: no
    Gang leader: that's heaven homes
    Carlito: heaven is for puss is

  7. Just wanted to through it our there. Isn't this cross race ridiculing? Can you imagine some whit folks or Hispanic folks mak fun of black gangs.. what would be the reaction?
    Whenever I see these kinds of skits, this comes to my mind.

  8. Legend has it Carlito’s Spirit is still standing there in the spirit plain in its proud posture refusing to move on! Why, Yu ask? Because moving on is for pussies

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