Laughter is Medicine | Anjelah Johnson | TEDxUniversityofNevada



[Applause] hello Reno Nevada the biggest little city look at us oh I'm so excited to be here you guys listen when they first asked me to do this they were like hey would you like to do a TEDx talk and I was like me yes I would love to talk about something important and think about an idea worth sharing and they're like no no no I'll just say your jokes oh cool Coco cool yeah yeah yeah I'll do that I'll do that let me just share some jokes with you today I I've been doing stand-up comedy for almost 12 years now and when I first started I was young and fresh now I'm getting older I mean I know I still look young thank you so much I'm getting older you guys and this is how you know you're getting older when you hurt your back but you don't know how like I don't even have a cool start to tell you guys like I can't be like oh yeah last week I was skiing and you know how I do it I went hard now is putting my socks on yeah I went hard and older you ever just be walking down the street minding your own business and all of a sudden your knee is like hey you're like what happened we know how to do this I hurt my back so I went to go get a massage and this next part of my story you're probably not even gonna believe you're gonna be like oh she just made that up for a joke promise you know I didn't went to get a massage and the guy who is giving me my massage fell asleep now I know you're probably thinking to yourselves right now like what how is that even possible I didn't know it was an option either apparently I'm really good at reverse relaxation but I should have known I should have known it was gonna be weird because it started off weird okay he started by asking me these seance type questions he's like okay close your eyes take a deep breath now tell me where are you Massage Envy now tell me what are you a girl um I don't like this part of the massage so he starts by rubbing my feet right we're 15 minutes into the massage he's rubbing my feet all of a sudden he starts to slow down next thing you know he just stopped now he's just holding my foot at first I thought he was doing his seance thing again I was like oh okay he's probably meditating the pain out my foot but then I could hear his breathing get real deep and slow like this and then he did this he startled himself awake and then continued the massage listen if you've never gotten a massage before you don't fully understand it's a vulnerable situation okay cuz you're lying there naked with a little tiny sheet on there's a stranger touching you anytime you're naked with the stranger that's awkward unless you're the creepy guy at the gym he's okay with it it's a vulnerable situation getting a massage how about this how about this one what do you do if your massage therapist has a bad breath oh it happens oh yeah you're laying there trying to relax his face is over your face you could smell his bad breath so you start breathing through your mouth but then you don't want his bad breath in your mouth so now you got to calculate your breathing with his breathing like I know I requested the aromatherapy massage but I didn't I had to get specific and there's different kinds of bad breath there's different kinds like you can tell when somebody just got off their lunch break and be like oh man he just had onions that sucks but at least it's identifiable like coffee breath that's identifiable I can respect coffee breath cuz that's a working man's breath but then there's the kind of breath where they are dying on the inside gum can I help this kind because if they put gum in the mouth the breath just gonna come out the nose it will find you god forbid you have to speak up and say something during a massage it's so awkward like maybe they're massaging you like way too hard then you have to speak up and be like oh sorry um could you not leave bruises or maybe they're massaging you like way too soft like they're doing tickle massage and you're like um why could I have my husband do this at home now you gotta speak up and be like oh sorry um could you try now it's the most awkward for me because I have to be like oh sorry could you not be asleep here's the weirdest massage I've ever had I didn't even know what to do after that I just grabbed my cucumber water got the heck out of there but my back still hurt so I went and I got a free massage over at Brookstone don't act like you've never sat in the massage chair at Brookstone everybody walks by that store acting like they've never heard of a massage chair before it massages oh I can sit oh sure I'll try it out sure Oh comfy push the green button okay Oh yep really good pressure I like it a lot but then all the sudden the massage changes to the shiatsu shimmy ladies you know the shiatsu shimmy at first you try to fight it [Applause] I hope nobody's watching but then after a while you just embrace it you're like oh well all the guys that gamestop across the way start watching yeah nine my boys just stick to my husband massages husband I've been married for seven years you guys seven years thank you thank you in in our house in our relationship our roles are kind of reversed and we're okay with that like whatever works for you in your relationship do that do what works for us our roles are little flippy-floppy yeah like I bring home the bacon I'm just not allowed to cook it my husband loves to go shopping I love to sit outside the store with the rest of the husbands he's super sexy and fashionable lots of people think I'm a lesbian girls will flirt with my husband right in front of me because they think I'm his gay little buddy they're like um where are you from he's from my house [Applause] my husband has a beautiful afro so girls are always like oh can I feel your hair you could feel my fist wow your little bitty spice tea sometimes when we go places my husband likes to pick out my outfit for me because he wants to make sure I look like a girl when we get there he'll be like all right babe let's see put on these jeans right here yep I'm a favorite this t-shirt I like where this is going and these stilettos so close and I get it my husband wants to see me in heels because women look sexy in heels she's not this woman and I'll tell you why because I am bowlegged see how my knees don't touch trying my hardest girl right here in the front of the center do you see how my feet are closed but you can still see the stool behind me so that means when I wear heels I look like this look like I rode my horse to the club hey hey you guys if I'm wearing heels and I want to do something daring like walk I have to bend my knees a little bit look like a camel look like a camel trying to fold itself to get some rest [Applause] that's not sexy at all we live in Hollywood and it's weird living in Hollywood because there's always like rumors and gossip and there was actually a rumor going around that I was dating Dwayne the rock Johnson that's what I said I was like hey mr. Rock I mean that was me I started that one I did that didn't quite catch on like I thought it would I tweeted it out only three people replied two people were like no way one guy was like you wish is my husband I got kind of famous on YouTube for this joke about going to get my nails done so you've heard it this is the joke that put me on the map people know of me because of this joke people come to my shows just for this joke and it's a blessing it really is because not every comedian gets to say that they have that that they have something that is resonated with so many people and that these people would then pay their hard-earned money to come and see you perform live so I just want to say that I am so grateful that I get to make people laugh for a living because laughter is medicine and I get to be a part of the medicine I'm so grateful for that so as long as this joke continues to bring people joy then I'm gonna continue to do it so with that being said I will do the joke for you to do any ladies in here get your nails done I go with my sister we go this place is called beautiful nail just one nailless beautiful it's okay though because these ladies are so nice you know they make you feel like it's all about you and customer service you know whatever you lie we do for you we do fusa only sickening Nala as soon as I walk in they greet me right away hi honey what you need today you wanted to whack your eyebrow I know no thank you honey you need to whack oh can I get a manicure please okay honey you lie pedicure – I know just a manicure thanks honey why you don't lie pedicure make look nice it's so sexy it's better for you oh okay sure I'll get a pedicure too then thank you it's okay honey sit down number sick mylink see do for you good job only $20 more that's okay sit down so my legs hurting my nails right away but her American name is Tammy you have boyfriend no no I don't have a but I know why you don't hey I think you know the first time you were in here you look like model cheerleader something we do you like long or short nail short nails please think so honey that's why you die hey boyfriend it's okay I do for you it's better for you only for nyla more that's okay do you like with no jail what do you like with no jail I'm sorry well honey I say do you like with no jail for your nail is the best thing and hair for your nail min look now you're sparkling diamond in the sky do you like with no Jo that sure I'll have the the crunchy stuff Thanks it's okay honey don't worry it's better for you only $6 more that's okay it's better honey better for me okay honey I'll Finnick go watch the hand all right thanks Tammy oh uh wait a minute one this one's a little crooked see that no honey that your finger do like that really it's funny cuz my finger didn't do like that before I came in here it's okay honey don't worry I think it for you don't worry oh no my bum name sell real time tempting by my MA hi charity bottom where my thumb go my baby boom himself well my hi babe himself why am i where am I can't see them go see say you looks up at a god bless you guys I'm Angela Johnson thank you so much thank you for having me I appreciate ur [Applause]

21 comments

  1. I'm dying with this because I went to get my nails for the same time and my nail waz obviously crooked!! To everyone I showed ir, except the lady. She said and I quote: " no, honey. Your finger is crooked, go like that! ( and motion different angles). πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

  2. So you hand him a certs and you tell him here take this your breath ain't making it and that's the end of discussion

  3. I really love her personality!! She's absolutely hilarious and has honest and clean comedy πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ‘

  4. "Where are you" open your eyes, correct!
    What are you, A GIRL.
    MASSEUSE should be quite.
    At least that's what they tell me

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