Mean Gunners – A Mean Girls Parody | Penn Law Revue 2017

Hey, You’re the Waitlist Kid aren’t you? As CSR President, it’s my job to show you
around. I know you’ve only missed a day of school but cliques form pretty quickly around here. Luckily, I’m your guide to the law school. Now where you sit in the courtyard is crucial, because you’ve got everybody there. You’ve got your Networking Whores Wait, where are you summering? Great meeting you, this is my business card! Do you know anyone in Skadden? Your people who only wear suits to class…like
me! What? It’s a professional school, I want to look
professional. I’ve got an important interview with a fictional
client in class today and I want to look prepared. Outspoken Libertarians Uhh Professor! I still don’t understand Lochner No one understands Lochner Except me! Social Justice Warriors Pass/Fail just like Yale! Pass/Fail just like Yale! I’m going to stay till the curve goes away! She’s going to stay till the curve goes
away! 22 year olds who are already lawyers In London we do things very differently I went to law school when I was 18 The Irish legal system is far superior Wannabe Above The Law writers Hey you! Smile! People who have never been to Bar Review People who think everyday is Bar Review Chug! The greatest people you will ever meet… and the worst. Beware The Gunners. Oh, hey! We’re doing a lunchtime survey of new students, can you answer a few questions? Ok. Do you know about Wexxis Advance? What? If you complete the daily quiz, you’ll be
eligible for up to 300 Wexxis points! Points for what? Is he bothering you? Jason, you are such a skeez, how about you go fool around to Shepards somewhere
else? I’m just being friendly. You were supposed to call me last night. Jason, you do not get to come to my exclusive
study group and then scam on this poor innocent 1L right
in front of me 3 days later. He’s not interested. Let’s go. Sit down. No, seriously, sit down. Wait, why don’t I know you? I’m new, I just got off the waitlist. What? I just got off the waitlist a few days ago. Wait, what? I don’t think you understand, I couldn’t
afford a prep class so I had to self study for the LSAT. I’m not an idiot, I know what the waitlist
is. So, you actually didn’t take an LSAT prep
course? Shut up. Shut up. I didn’t say anything. Self study…that’s really interesting. Thanks So you must be like, really smart? Thank you. So you agree? You think you’re really smart? What? Oh my gosh, I love your outlines. Where’d you get them? They’re just my class notes. They’re adorable. That’s so Magic Circle! What is Magic Circle? It’s like, slang, from England. Stop trying to make Magic Circle happen, it’s
never going to happen. Some of those firms are barely even Biglaw. Wait so, if you self-studied then what did
you get on the LSAT? Oh my god Karen, you can’t just ask people
what they got on the LSAT. Would you mind giving us a quick sec? Sure. Okay, so, you should know we’re definitely getting on to Law Review so this doesn’t happen very often, and it’s
kind of a big deal, we’d like you to study with us everyday
for the rest of the week. Ok? Coolness. We’ll get you the confidentiality agreement
later today. On Wednesdays, we study Con Law. So the real question in Shelby County is the
amount of deference owed… Professor! Professor! Yeah, so I know I’m just a prospective student,
but I just don’t see how the Equal Rights Clause applies here. Isn’t this like, a voting rights case? She doesn’t even go here. So, tell our viewers what you think of Waitlist’s
chances in Torts this semester. There’s a…30% chance he’s already failing.


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