My Anxiety Disorder: YouTuber Jessii Vee's Story



I was an extremely nervous and shy kid the type that hid behind their mom to avoid any social interaction my first day of grade 1 was a complete nightmare my dad dropped me at school and I begged him to go to class with me I couldn't stand the thought of being alone in a room full of strangers I cried and cried until he said yes turns out I was the only kid in class with the parents sitting beside me holding my hand and it seemed like the older I got the worse my anxiety became I began to get more and more anxious to do things I never raised my hand in class and fear of being wrong and everyone laughing at me one day the teacher called on me to answer the question and I sat there shaking and sweating in my seat trying to form the words I wanted to say finally my answer came out as a stutter and a few people chuckled beside me and yes I ended up being right but it took so much effort out of me in grade 8 we started to do a lot of presentations in class I would always memorize what I needed to say but the moment I stood in front of the class I would forget everything I would stand up there completely paralyzed there was this one time when my teacher called me up to the front of the class to present and as I was walking up I tripped over someone's foot knocked over the projector and landed right on my face I stood up as fast as I could and ran to the girls bathroom to cry I felt like I was always embarrassing myself even school dances were a struggle I would stand against a wall while everyone had a good time eventually high school rolled around my anxiety continued to hold me back I struggled to meet new people so I would sit in the library to eat my lunch there were even a few times when the library was full and I had to eat in a washroom stall I began developing a fear for being in crowded spaces I could only sit in a packed classroom for a certain amount of time before I had to get up and leave so I had to go see a guidance counselor to tell her what was wrong and she gave me these slips of paper that I could give my teacher whenever I was feeling an anxiety attack coming on and he would excuse me from the classroom without asking any questions this helped me but people started to wonder why I left the classroom so frequently people thought I was extremely strange the only way I can explain an anxiety attack to you is the feeling of not being able to breathe like something is pressing really hard on your chest and you can't take a full breath in your heartbeat gets faster and your whole body heats up until you sweat uncontrollably it's a feeling of panic sometimes you don't even know why you feel this way sometimes it just happens when you least expect it there was one day in grade 10 when my mom took my sister and I had to see a movie when we got there the theater was pretty packed so we had to sit in the very middle of an aisle surrounded by tons of people in every direction about halfway through the movie I began to feel the panic coming on my heart began speeding up and I couldn't seem to calm myself down I tried Fanning myself with the empty popcorn bag but that wasn't working so I whispered into my mom's ear and told her what was going on she seemed confused but saw in my face help said I was so we all got up and left the theater I finally decided this was enough I needed help my parents set me up with a therapist in my area it was a very comfortable environment and I was able to tell her everything that was bothering me she told me that I definitely had an anxiety disorder she told me that she can work with me to lessen its effect on my life this took a while but with help I was noticing changes in my life I began reaching out to people at school I rarely left my class or a movie theater because I felt claustrophobic things were changing all around me for the better and yes anxiety is still a part of my life but it isn't as dominant as it was before my last year of college I was even able to start my youtube channel which took a lot of courage and confidence I'm even able to talk to an audience of people at meet and greets without having a complete meltdown things are great and I'm the happiest I've been in my entire life you

32 comments

  1. Me when I first saw this: lol she's so over reactive
    Me now, diagnosed with GAD, with almost weekly anxiety attacks: …oh

  2. I think I have a small bit of anxiety, but not social anxiety. I am an extrovert and won the public speaking championship at my school. I just can't sleep at night, and I think about awful things, and I got boiling hot, and also find it hard to breathe. I feel as if I want to throw up. I get these sort of reactions in lots of places, but mainly alone with my own thoughts. I told my parents, and my mum said I was being silly and overreacting. Does anyone with anxiety, a doctor, anyone know if I really have anxiety, or am I just paranoid?

  3. I have anxiety and depression and it’s staring to get worse…and my parents know about it,but I feel like I need to get help really bad…does anyone have any advice on how to tell my parents.If you do please let me know x

  4. I know how you feel I have anxiety too I’ve also had ADHD and OCD a lot more things I have to take 10 pills a day

  5. I had anxiety for so long and It really went away when oh started 7th grade but i hated even just hated going outside to even take out the trash so it would take me about an hour to even get out the door and me just stalling and whenever i had to do it my heart would start beating really fast and i would just stay in bed all day snd i coulsnt even hang out with friends over the summer it was so bad i didnt jave many friends growing up but now i do and im happy (:❤

  6. I had it I would cry for no reason I didn’t know why. Now I don’t have it anymore and I consider myself pretty tough

  7. Go u and good job for actually helping yourself
    Whereas I still panic at a social speaking in front of people

  8. Sometimes I get anxiety attack randomly. Like at transport, I'm sitting then suddenly I'm panicking, I can't breathe, all air seems to have been taken away from my lungs. But learned to overcome it because of school presentations. So even though school is a pain in my neck, it helped me…

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