My MDMA (Ecstasy) Addiction Experience | From Beginning to End



what's up guys is CG kids so in this video I'm going to go over my experience with ecstasy addiction from why I tried it to what it felt like to the come downs to why I quit to some of the hallucinations that I've had from the substance for those new to my channel and we're recovering Pali addicts I have almost 6 years of sobriety I share my experiences both with addiction and recovery to further educate the general public and to give the addicts and her loved ones hope that sobriety is possible so this is a new topic a new format for me so to speak and I plan to keep doing this grenade I'm only going to do this with substances that have been severely addicted too there are different levels of addiction there's many compounds I've experimented with and had problems with but these are the ones that cause the most problems in the first substance I'm gonna go over as MDMA also known as ecstasy so before I use ecstasy back in the old days I'm old as hell by the way but back in the old days when I was first introduced to like substances of various drugs I always kept it to the naturals you know shrooms and and that kind of thing and I kind of look down on people who would use MDMA I just heard a lot of the propaganda I heard a lot of the craziness I imagined it couldn't be good for you a lot of it was just you know me making large-scale assumptions based on information I was given which was very little and I just thought who would do that to their body for a long time but my ex was interested in trying it and so you know one day on her birthday she got a pill and she gave it to me and we were at a skating rink in Dallas Texas and you know my mom and brother worked there I know my brother was working there that day and she had the pill and it was one of those moments where it's like okay it's there I might as well just do it once and get it over with she wants to try it for a birthday let's do this thing and see what it is and it was just like a white chalky pill there was no design on it so that's pretty much what caused me to use MDMA my first time and when I took that pill with her we went up in the car and we were gonna wait for my brother to get off work and we were gonna wait for the substance to kick in as soon as MDMA kicked in we both got extremely disconnected from reality it's real hard to describe what that was like but it was almost like our brains were literally we felt like our brains were melting couldn't understand like regular human language found it difficult to speak it was just like this extreme dissociation it just felt like there was like almost like a brick in my brain that's the best way to describe it like my thoughts I couldn't think at all I was just able to see with my eyes and when I saw things I felt so disconnected and like I really messed up doing this I really messed up and I remember us thinking like can we even wait for my brother to get off work like what are we gonna do we're freaking out for me that lasted about 10 minutes it wasn't so easy on my ex for her lasted longer which I'll get into in a bit but for me after about 10 minutes of that I felt this um we later on called it the waterfall me and my ex where it was just this wave of extreme euphoria like this discomfort this fear of death this whole like I messed up this time this is way too intense I can't handle this just I didn't like it it all that was replaced with the most euphoria ever felt and it just came over me almost like a waterfall and it was like instant so when that happened I felt unbelievably euphoric I mean it's the most euphoric I ever felt in my life and I've done a lot of substances you know a lot of the really hard stuff and the euphoria from the first time taking MDMA is not something I could really compare it to I remember my brother got in the car I told him we took shrooms so he wouldn't judge us I remember that and we were driving down the highway and it was a bright day outside and it was just so bright it was so bright in the euphoria it was gut-wrenching it was like that exciting feeling you get when something good happens like a manic episode times a thousand but it also is very calm and sedating and had that component to it so it was beyond what I could really describe it was like euphoria beyond this world it almost felt like it turned regular real life into the afterlife like you know so to speak heaven and that that of course you know got me into doing it now my ex was still struggling with that dissociation for quite some time I would say at least a our and I remember feeling this dissociation and trying to get her out of the car and her legs were like wobbling and she could barely walk and I was starting to be afraid for her but I was like numb to emotion so my fear wasn't really there and you know later down the couch and then I remember sitting down and it was so very new feeling for me because it was like being really wanting to do stuff but being able to sit there and chill at the same time when my eyes were like wiggling back and forth and I remember laying back and just letting my eyes wiggle back and forth from this buzz in my brain that was so strong and it was very energizing and I it was just its own thing you know I didn't really have like the thought processes still I couldn't sit down and do calculus for you but at the same time I wanted to do stuff but I could sit there and chill so it was like I wanted to dance I wanted to go outside I wanted to walk around and do like things that enquire much thinking my ex was laying there just totally freaking out thinking you know some Bad's happening implying that we need to call for the hospital about an hour in she told me the story and it might be a different time but basically what happened was she looked at like a Pepsi bottle like a two-liter and she said I love that Pepsi bottle in her head and then she was like I really love that Pepsi bottle and then it became like she was infatuated with that Pepsi bottle and that took her out of this dissociated terrible state if she got the waterfall effect – and then we were both sitting there in bliss so yeah that's that was the first time I tried MDMA and what caused me to use it the second time I tried it it was sometime between I pretty much said okay I got that out of my system it's out of the way but there was this lingering thought like I knew after experiencing that something so euphoric I was much more susceptible to trying it again if it was available and it became available you know it was hard for me to find dealers she got the pill through a friend I didn't know any dealers but one day a dealer had MDMA and he had these pills called blue pistols and they were blue with a little pistol on them so I decided to buy a couple from him with some friends and we had a sleepover and I took it and it was almost the same exact thing it was that gut-wrenching euphoria on the come-up and then it was like this really clear headspace that's the best way to describe it really relaxed and seeing everything like so clear it's almost like it's in 4d and I love the experience so yeah I remember texting my ex and saying you got to try these blue pistols and getting him for her and then we started using ecstasy together and that's when things started becoming more of an addiction because we had a dealer and we loved the effects of the substance we started using ecstasy more regularly and we weren't really The Rave seemed type it was just me and my ex and I think part of our rationalization just a small part of it was like we were gonna get married one day we were together like five years at the time and you know we were highschool sweethearts we had no doubt that we were gonna be together forever so we thought we'd make these long lasting memories together so when we did MDMA together is really just a me and her thing and we would do like the you know listening to the EDM music of course smoking a bunch and you know doing the raves doing nitrous that was really kind of what we did I mean I did go to a rave a couple times but it wasn't really my scene and you know our addiction progressed doing that like I remember after I had a dealer and I was Charles and continued using the substance I did a lot more research and there was a lot of propaganda saying MDMA was horrible for you but then on the reverse side it seemed like to counteract that propaganda people created their own pro drug propaganda so there are things like you know use it once a month you'll be fine and that was like stated as a universal that it doesn't cause any kind of brain damage that's therapeutic and those things made me believe in the substance especially the therapeutic part you know I believed that it was good for people and I believed it was good for me and this would just be a phase and I needed this to grow then to develop personally which isn't that sounds insane to probably the average person but that was the rationalization that went into using MDMA regularly and it started off once a month like I write I read rules and I respect them and I try to follow them and it did start off once a month and it wasn't too extreme but eventually you know I have enough of these once a month really good times best times in my life and I start to justify once every two weeks it could be like a friend saying hey we're going to this Grateful Dead cover band concert do you want to come up with us and then I go up there and they're taking a and I'm like well it hasn't been a month but I'll make an exception this time it was easy to slip into once every three weeks once every two weeks and it got to a point where it was once every week and when it was at once every week I still use the same as a crashing ization so I'm like people on the internet say I'll be fine you know the government lied and it felt like I was rebelling against the government the government don't want me to know I have this so that's when really kind of how it progressed and I see that it was very easy to slip into and it be very easy for a lot of people to slip into more than once a month usage I get that you know for some people they can use MDMA once a month it works for them they don't many problems that's great for you not everybody's like that but I see it being broadcasted or in the comments is like a universal statement like everybody has that much self-control everybody has the same brain makeup everybody has the same history with their childhood and is like healthy mentally no that's not the case I wasn't really healthy mentally I was prone to addiction to the substance and yeah it just is what it is it's not Universal but I believed it was so me and my exes use obviously progressed from that point you know once we were using once a week we were taking more and more pills and it got really extreme back then we took pokeballs which some of you guys back then old school ravers because I'm old might know what I'm talking about but they were like a hundred milligrams of MDMA with a little bit of ketamine and they were generally always pure it was really hard to find adulterated back then I'm sure there's adulterated now so I was taking a ton of those with her and when we abused ecstasy we would get that really good feeling and get that clear headspace and it seemed like a big part of the high for both of us and we both talked about this was getting more so we would be really high and then like the best thing that would make us feel good is like let's go get more and I swear we must have annoyed our dealers because that's how we preferred to do it we would go and say buy six pills for both of us pop three each and then two hours later we'd call the dealer hey we want more and sometimes we call them two or three times and it's in a single session and going out to get more and coming back because we like the adventure of it we like the excitement of getting more and we were binge users and we used once a week but we would use throughout the whole night I mean we'd wake up having spent so much money it's ridiculous and we would uh yeah like the most extreme 'got would be the equivalent to taking 1.6 grams of MDMA so about 16 really strong ecstasy pills in the night was the most I ever took I remember that being my record but at ten eleven was an average keep in mind out of Tolerance he's extremely dangerous and I'm about to go over why it was so dangerous and there's many reasons why but yeah it got to where and we never took all those at once we would start off with two or three and then an hour later take two or three hour later you know we mixed it out throughout the night and we even had this game we would play me and my ex or we'd pop a half a pill every 30 minutes and kind of see who threw up first like we were really sick with it and got really into it and in my mind I thought you know the government lies it's not as bad as I make it out to be you know I can I can quit when I want people said even online that it's not addictive it's just psychologically addictive and I believed all that stuff you know I was young I was stupid and whenever I took these extreme doses throughout the night really late at night say it took like ten pills throughout the night so towards the end of the night at like 4:00 in the morning or whatever I would start other mad hallucinations and the hallucinations are really weird I mean they reminded me more of like something like benadryl than they would psychedelics they were like envisioning myself in another environment they weren't even like DXM at all but it would be like I'm driving through a drive-through out Wendy's and I see it I'm in my car literally they're like physically there I mean as real as me like being here right now touching this chair and I would be like ordering from the drive-through and this is all hallucination in my head now here's the really weird thing even though this is just in my head in a hallucination when I'm ordering in this space and in this hallucination I'm actually verbalizing it in reality so imagine my ex sitting with me and randomly I'm kind of blinked out in space and randomly I say I want a five-piece chicken nugget and a coca-cola and she would look at me like what's wrong with you and then I would kind of snap out of this head space or the hallucination and see her and be like oh crap you know I messed up and the next time I would go back in like you know five minutes later and now instead would maybe be with my aunt you know helping her cook dinner and be talking to my aunt but in real life I'm actually talking and that's a very scary place to be in because MDMA can be very lethal for a lot of reasons and a lot of times it's it's not the substance itself but it's how we don't drink water or be over hydrate and I always was really proud of my ability to take in a certain amount of water not too much not too little like know the rules and whenever I was in that headspace I was in a able to even like remember to drink water so I very easily could have died from dehydration if there was one substance I say should have really got rid of me or killed me I would definitely say it was India may I look back and I do not know how I survived those nights and you know during this time had taken 1016 pills I should add I was also dealing it and selling it out of my house and it's because I believed in the substance I thought it was therapeutic I thought it was good for you that's what I thought back then I said well I thought my dealing was like a public service and again I didn't go to raise people came to my house but when they bought so many pills I remember taking mental notes of how much more pills I could take that weekend so I didn't really make money I just sold pills to use pills if that makes sense eventually MDMA stopped working and I hear that a lot like the magic goes away and I hear a lot also that you know people use drugs to chase the first high and my personal experience has not been the case for me for example like with meth like if I took a tolerance break I could get almost just as high as the first time I use meth I would just have to use more but with MDMA it seemed to genuinely stop working in other words I could take a tolerance break and take a really high dose and I could take like a you know six month tolerance break which I remember doing and then take a really high dose and the magics just not there it's not the same drug anymore it becomes like very watered down I would say it's like adderall but honestly it really wasn't even as is euphoric is that it just lacked the empathic genic effect and the epatha genic effect for me was like wanting to talk to people wanting to share intimate details with them wanting to learn about their life and have that intimate connection with people in the world and you know going to clubs and meeting strangers and loving them and loving just people in general it really lost that effect for me and it lost it pretty fast and I think I was in denial a lot of the time I was using it and so yeah in the come downs The Hives would get shorter so like the first time I took MDMA I had like a three-day afterglow following so I felt good for three days after I didn't even get it come down and then it got to a point where you know I before I'd get high for the whole day and then towards the end when the magic went away I would only get high for like two hours and then after the two hours I'd have this sharp and brutal comedown that was just edgy and gross and nasty and reminded me I took a drug and it just didn't feel good it wasn't as bad as my adderall come downs or my meth come downs but it was up there's is something pretty bad so the drug in itself I felt defeated I remember trying to fix that and trying to get the magic back taking breaks and everything but I realized it was never coming back and I had a lot of negative consequences happen around this time I drove on MDMA and almost drove my car off a bridge I'm very lucky I didn't get arrested or hurt and you know I decided that you know the substance is way too expensive and it's not for me and it was a very defeated feeling and especially because I realized at that point that it did cause changes in though either the way I metabolized the substance or my brain chemistry and I leaned towards the brain and those changes are never going to go away I can't fix them I can't reverse them and the changes are like this permanent tolerance and I was afraid of what's gonna happen later in life I started doing research and not going to biased websites but and not going to government websites but really going for the middle ground websites and I wish I could remember which ones in particular and I started to get afraid and realize I abused it and yeah that's that was a very dark experience for me and then quitting MDMA in general was really hard it was just you know I was using other substances but quitting MDMA is yeah I remember like thinking about the pills and the presses and the culture and the I wasn't really around many people but I think about the memories that me and my ex made and stuff and like some of the highlight memories I'm romanticizing it and it just felt like I had so much power over me back then it was unbelievable and it was hard to just quit it even though I was using other stuff to escape it was just that one in particular is really hard to accept that and it's like I didn't really have a choice I had to quit it because the magic was gone so there really wasn't a choice and I just felt defeated and like I really harmed myself and did a lot of damage to my organs and brains and brain even with like you know MDMA the adulterants I could have taken and all the other stuff started to really hit me and sink in now what I take MDMA again the answers and you know absolutely not I would not take it that first time I get it back then I was young I was I was like processing decisions differently than I do now I'm an adult now and I was processing it more with emotion and I thought it was rebellious and it was cool to take ecstasy I thought you know be against the government fit in with my friends tell them I take ecstasy you know it's cool that was part of my motive to even start it and then to continue using it I was very focused on the emotional reward and I thought somehow it would be good for me later in life and I'd be glad I did this as an adult I'm not glad that I did that especially at a young age and those memories are so fleeting and all I really had to show for them is I've taken ecstasy before and I can make this video for you guys that might prevent someone from abusing the substance or using it to begin with which you know I I just don't see really much of a point I remember being young and thinking totally different than I do now and the only thing I got of MDMA is I learned how to do raving but I only raved on MDMA I'll show you the example of me raving now get up with the purpose every motherfucker fricassee the sweater cutter bridge the president addition plate up with the shitter fucker sale yeah I never raved but that's about all I got out of it cuz I only did that when I was under the influence of ecstasy I'm surprised I even still do it a little bit but yeah that's my MDMA addiction story and I hope to see you guys in the comments discussing this and what your thoughts are on MDMA follow me on Instagram I answer the comments and DMS on there it's the easiest platform for me personally I try to answer as many as I can at the time of making this video at least and also I post IG TV videos and go live there pretty frequently I'm setting up a streaming computer I'm getting some cool things going for you guys and I love you guys be sure to subscribe for future content peace out oh my god

48 comments

  1. Mr. Kid, you took the words right out of my mouth about mdma. We are both stupid and smart at the same time. I use nothing but coffee and cigarettes now. I lived in Amsterdam for 20 years and spent more than half of my time in drug clubs. We should talk because I like your channel and direction you have chosen. I have info that would that would be interesting on your channel.

  2. i lived in amsterdam in the 90's. mdma was as common as coffee. it was super fun but the thrill only lasted for a couple of years. now i hate even talking about it and will never touch it again.

  3. I think that MDMA could still be useful, under proper guidance, to heal past traumas. Very useful video over all though.

  4. So relatable man! Mdma literally lasts about 3 hours for me now and even then all I get now is gerning and my vision vibrates and I have more energy but struggle to talk to people but because of all the incredible times i've had on it I really wanted to bring back the magic but meh. It's a drug that's wasted on me. 😭

  5. and also at 15:50 this is EXACTLY why im a stoner, the whole tolerance thing plus the fact that if your a complete stoner, you can take .1 of some pure MDMA and smoke a half oz and have the best fucking night (note once a year)

  6. what the fuck? you went to a rave but it wasnt "really your scene"? so your not about positive vibes, nice people, and getting fucked up once every so often, me its once a year i do a big festival….. you trippin brotha, i can understand if you dont like the music, but the scene, its literally the most kind hearted genuine positive place to be 99% of the time

  7. I've heavily abused MDMA twice in my life; not exactly sure how severely I abused them. The first time I tried it was when I was about 22 and had experience with weed, LSD, mushrooms, and DMT before that for a couple years before that. I felt the same 'waterfall effect' you describe except I wasn't really anxious about death or anything. I did a lot of research and got a test kit and took 80mg of pure MDMA and I researched that dose. I wasn't partying or combining it with other drugs, and I was in a comfortable environment at a friends house so I never felt that anxious, but I did feel disappointed like "This is gonna suck if it lasts like this for 3-4 hours." After about 10 minutes I had that infinite bliss and love and calmness, and my friend and I spent the night talking, going for walks, and listening to music. I came to a lot of positive realizations about my self and life and reality and had an incredibly good time. No bad comedown or depression afterwards. I redosed once and the experience lasted like 8 hours and I just very slowly came back down to normal, except way happier.
    Naturally I wanted to experiment with it more and a friend at the time was able to get me 1.5g and I planned on using it like every few months and with my best friends and girl friend. I guess I didn't have the self control for that because I took the entire 1.5g in a span of 4 days. I'd take it late at night, alone in my room, after everyone else went to sleep and just lay in bed wrapped up by ultimate peace and tranquility for 4 or 5 hours, wake up the next day, wait til night, repeat. Had the worst diarrhea of my life every one of those days but didn't feel bad about it. This was during the time of my heaviest cannabis usage so, I honestly cant remember that entire week or what I did that week or the week after. I do remember getting it and doing though.
    Anyway, months pass and I get a chance to do it again, take it a couple times with a month or so between rolls. Then the same thing happens. Same friend gets a hold of a lot again and can sell 2g really cheap. I buy it and plan on rationing it out and make it last all my friends and I at least a year. This time the drug test came out wishy washy and it tasted very strange. Usually mdma had a crazy intense chemical death taste, like the most chemical bitter taste you can imagine. This stuff was bitter and had a strong chemical taste but also had this intense artificial cherry taste and it also had a yellow tinge to the crystals instead of it being white or blue. It definitely had MDMA in it but it wasn't pure and I couldn't really identify the other drug. It was probably amphetamine or possibly even meth. Ended up taking it every night for 6 days straight anyway. This experience I remember a little more clearly since it was more recent. I was working a job that I didn't mind at the time but it was often 50 hour weeks and I was only bringing home just enough to pay for rent and food and my vehicle (and weed and mdma, apparently), and was recently given the responsibilities of 2 fulltime positions to accomplish in 1 regular shift. I was calling out left and right because my body couldn't take it on top of my horrible diet, sedentary lifestyle, and terrible sleep schedule. I'd lapse into states of paralyzing depression where I couldn't get out of bed for a whole day. My boss offered me a week off to get my shit together and rest (I didn't accrue any vacation time yet so this was really generous), and at the same time I got all this MDMA, and yep, used it all during that week. I remember feeling perfectly fine that whole week, no negative symptoms between rolls during the day, and at night I was meditating in the clearest headspace I've ever achieved except maybe on mushrooms once. I listened to my favorite bands which all have very deep and meaningful, spiritual lyrics, and just wave after wave of eureka moments and insights into reality came to me and I felt so "enlightened" (aware it was just chemical enlightenment).
    Not surprisingly the week after that I was a wreck. Horrible nausea and diarrhea while probably the most depressed I have ever been in my life. I called out of work again and got fired. Had no savings what so ever. I'm very lucky that I have a truly wonderful girlfriend who loves me and took care of in that state. If I was her I would have dumped my ass.
    After that, I've only taken it once about a year after that, and a year ago from now; with LSD (I won't get into that one), but I've recently felt the urge to get a hold of some again.
    Not sure why I told this story but it seemed like something I should say.
    I guess I should ask, is this type of use common or has anyone had an experience with MDMA like this that has any sort of advice or insight? Is the type of use extremely unhealthy or relatively benign compared to what others have gone through?

  8. Yeah dude I’ve had pure mdma only once a few years ago and it was THE BEST high of my life, no hangover & felt super great the next day. Personally if I could just try it one more time I definitely would

  9. Same experience here man. First trip i got a solid 0,3g. This gave me the most fantastic of trips!! Then took it 3 weeks later, since i failed to wait 4, aaand that was quite the bummer. 0 euphoria and just muscle spasm and no visions. Its toxic as hell.

  10. Taking pills at a Grateful Dead tribute show? That would be awful for me! I used to know a guy who would take them & go to the cinema of all places!

  11. You are inspiration for me dude. I'm 23 years old student from Poland and I'm extremely addicted to alcohol. I also experienced marihuana, mdma, amphetamine, benzos, boosters, lsd and cocaine in my life but I just can't win my battle with alcohol. I fight with my depression. I think about killing myself every day since 2016. Pressure of enviorment is just sometimes stronger than me but when I'm looking at your videos I don't feel alone in all of this. I recomended your channel to all my friends with similiar problems. Best regards and thank you for your work.

  12. I absolutely hated MDMA, will never do it again. To me I just blacked out, woke up with bruises, pissed my pants, and nothing but very dizzy memories of doing things I would never have done sober.

  13. 5 dollars worth of MDMA pills *1 180mg plus pill in germany lasts literally 6 months won't dmg ya membrane too if u do it the way shulgin wants u to…most worth it thing invented after sex

  14. I realised that the only thing that pushes me to take E is the environment. I can stay home a full month without the slightest thought of buying pills, but when i go to a friends house to have a drink, and suddenly he tells me he s got E, i just end up getting fucked up, every single time.
    So, i really wanna quit molly, do you think that avoiding these situations(and mainly spending less time with my friends) would lead me to quitting? Or do you think i ll be calm for a period and then get urges and do everything possible to get it again?

  15. Give some tips about what should we do when we have ecstacy hangover, and how to not get it at all, is there any vitamine we should drink before and after ecstacy

  16. MDMA and Nangs/Whippets.
    The combination was so addicting. Instead of going clubbing or talking to others, me and my mates would stay in the bedroom and inhale nangs all night long.

    I reached a stage where I had a freak episode and experienced this weird supernatural feeling where I stood up and screamed: "I saw the accident".
    Its really bizzare, I felt like I saw the code for our current Universe and there was a bug (error) within it.

    Also, each time I cracked a nang, I would feel as if I am dying. Then I would see my parents plead with me to stop doing it as I am killing myself. It made me feel so guilty.

    Anyway, I experienced the same thing twice in a row then I stopped then and there. Took a break from it for a whole year after that.

    Thinking about it now, and watching this video makes me want to quit MDMA, but there are 3 raves coming up in Sydney….it's going to be quiet difficult.

  17. Definitely some mental health benefits with veterans and people with trauma to do micro doseing MDMA in a medical setting. Some interesting studies. I've never done it because I know to many people dead from from taking pills.

  18. Hey man. It's weird for me. I have severe anxiety and depression which I've always had and when I take this stuff I feel like a billion dollars for weeks after. I only use it once or twice a year. Do you think it's not safe to do that?

  19. When im tripping hard at some party at some techno i just close my eyes and im like in some black and white movie, im in some industrial area, warehouses , dirty roads and machines banging and my mind just fly around. Daamn man, cant wait for 7. Jun when im going for it again lol

  20. Tried it once and made my life way better since then. I read about it, and some people(like me) experience a long term almost permanent afterglow. Its been 3 yrs since I took it and Im sure my life would be worse if I didnt take it

  21. Problem being addicted to MDMA each day you use the affects become weaker and weaker until it’s pointless

  22. This comment is In relation to mdma only. you are a spoofer. Why do you think everyone will have your particular expertise. Falsity is not prevention. At least be fucking honest. You say all this stuff like it's guaranteed that everyone will feel that . Mdma is not addictive. You're fishing for likes. If you want to learn about the real effects of drugs watch drugslab. Dutch channel which explains the reality minus the scary stories.

  23. Thanks for everything you do man, you're channel is really helpfull! I have a question, I've heard the best therapeutic dosage that is used in studies today is aroud 80 mg, wich should'nt bring that euphoric feeling. Do you think that if you had been taking that instead of your heroic 1000+ mg dosages you would have been fine and could have experienced improvement in your life ?

  24. You're still so articulate and animated, with very fast recollection and solid memory, after all those years of various drug addictions… Amazing.

  25. Mdma I did three times third time felt so shit on the third time. I didn't take pills I took pure mdma well the crystal instead. First time i did it half a gram of mdma and half a gram of ket. Was really weird

  26. MDMA is fucking amazing can’t lie, but the problem is is that it’s cheating. You’re literally experiencing total possible happiness without putting in any work.

  27. Mdma is not dissassociating, It completely opened my heart chakra and I also was grounded in my lower chakras, yes you feel very high and plopped, but i would not say I ever felt “disconnected”

  28. Mdma healed me of a lot of psychological issues and i feel like mdma is something that can be super addictive, but it can also be one of the most healing substances

  29. I’ve got a really addictive personality my once a week weekend weed turned to everyday for years but it taught me with me a lesson. I don’t want to ruin extacy it’s fucking amazing and I want to take this as much as I can in my life without it effecting my life at all.

  30. It seems to me that your drug abuse problems where symptoms of a much bigger problem at hand; all of which come back to something along the lines of a lack of connection. But you probably already know this.

  31. I'm 16 and have taken 500m.. a blue punisher (350) and 250m of pure crystals.. the comedown was so bad that I now only do it once a year and only 130.

  32. It gives me chills when you say you didn’t know how you were surviving. You stayed alive to be a testimony. Good work !!! Your videos give me a natural high of happiness, just your honesty

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