Nadiya Hussain Bravely Opens Up About the Roots of Her Anxiety and Panic Disorder | Loose Women

you've made a documentary about this which will be broadcast tonight anxiety and me was that a tough decision you know to kind of go public if you like on I talked about it yeah like you just little bits little bits yes so yes and no it wasn't easy but yes because I wanted to because it's important to talk about it and no because what on earth like that's quite a lot of yourself to give up yeah so no it was it was it was tough I mean as you see you have spoken about it a little bit before and you've spoken about it under the shoe but actually going into the origins of your anxiety is something that you you tackle in the in the program I mean for a long time you've spoken about your anxiety did you ever pinpoint it back to that moment where you're bullied in scores is doing this documentary was that the first time you realized I'll hold on a second that's my trigger yeah I mean when you have anxiety and like I kind of learned I've got panic disorder as a grownup as you know after I've had my third child the doctor tells me yes I think it's anxiety might be depression so was never a definitive those never a definitive answer nobody ever said specifically that this is what it is it was always panic disorder from a teen but then it was depression at 26 and never a real kind of this is what you've got this is the help that you need but to actually sit down with somebody and talk about but really go back I mean it wasn't even about the panic attacks it was about right let's go all the way back and all that stuff that you just kind of bury you have to unravel all of that and then and that's quite scary because I don't think I think when you're a parent when you've got kids to look after you just want to be this kind of I'm looking after my kids and I'm strong and I'm gonna deal with whatever comes my way and you don't allow yourself to become vulnerable or to think about what it could what it was that made you sick in the first place so um was it helpful for you to do that to get more but difficult it was difficult and it's it I had to say things out loud that I've never ever had to say so these are things that I talk to my husband about all the time but you know we talk about it and sometimes I've said it so often I think oh my goodness a broken record I just keep I just I kind of almost hate for this my own voice didn't want to talk about it anymore so I never actually said it to anybody else but then when I was doing documentaries talking to the kids about it a little bit more so every time I go to the toilet and I'm 34 years old it's fair to say I've used it a few times and every time I go to the loo I cannot take that image out of my head that image is always in my head and I've tried for years to try and get rid of that image and I can't because it was yeah that's the first time I had a panic attack was when my head was flushed down the toilet and then I was like this has been defined as PTSD post-traumatic stress disorder wit yeah you know we have kind of associated in the past with like War veterans yeah and things but now we're hearing so much more about that and that's kind of the label that's been given yeah yeah well that was the biggest surprise for me was to hear that was PTSD because for years I thought it was just panic disorder and anxiety so to hear PTSD was a massive shock for me I hadn't realized that that's what it was and you know when you hear PTSD you hear you know people who went out to war and fought for their country yeah you know I had will flush down the toilet but you know when you're 11 that's enough – that's enough to make you really sick and I think I think with people who suffer with anxiety and anybody who does suffer they I reckon they're the best people at saying it's okay I'm fine yeah I'm fine everybody else is important but I'm okay I'm fine I'm doing just fine and I'm I became used to just saying I'm fine it's just anxiety sometimes that's the best distraction though isn't it because if you continue to make yourself look fine you're not thinking about the anxiety and I think that's why a lot of those people are good at that going back to you talking to your children while you're making the documentary I as somebody who has definitely suffered from anxiety in the past how do you approach that subject with your children and is it something that you are having open conversations about and are they do you feel that that will benefit them because I never know when whether to tell them why my children and or you know it's a quite a difficult issue to tackle with yeah it's tricky because we all the one thing we say in our house is we get things wrong together there's no such thing as getting it right so they get it wrong first time they're gonna be kids it's the first time I'm gonna be a mom so let's just get it wrong together and that's what we do towing me in the middle and I think there's no right or wrong answer and the reason why I think I suffered even more was because I didn't talk to anyone and I think it's taken me this many years and I've only ever my poor husband I get offloaded on my husband so often it's like come on let's share this out now I think it's too much for him so I talked to my kids and I openly tell them you know as as they've become older sort of into their teens now I talk to them more about you know bullying and and talking and I think it's not about it's about just talking and that's why I did this documentary is because all these years I've had this panic disorder you know I've learnt so much more about it but we just don't talk you know and and I know no they haven't will they they will watch it tonight my eldest will watch it tonight the other two are gonna one's got sacs so he's going to bed and the younger ones busy with all her stuff so they're going to bed but they're gonna watch it in the morning can I ask you something earlier we're talking about eating together and spicy and I this end of the table we together yeah oh you know very very busy on your husband's busy do you eat together absolutely yeah we try our best I mean I'm going to say we eat every single meal together because sometimes we just can't make that happen so there's that's what facetimes for so sometimes I'm just at the end of the table I'm like make sure you finish those vegetables so yeah we trying it together the thing is no do you know when you show hey kids it's dinner they're gonna go great when I show that with my kids they go oh no [Laughter] [Applause] difficult to get them to the table it's been lovely to have you here again at the end and the documentary anxiety Micah's out tonight on BBC one if you've been affected by anything that now they've been talking about today then there are details of help lines on our website but Leslie thanks to Nadia see [Applause] you

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