Overcome Social Anxiety Disorder – What do you do when you don't have many friends



hey guys this is James coming to you live from Las Vegas Nevada what do you do when you don't have many friends this is a question that's come from one of the people in the post inside the forum so I want to answer this question by asking you the question what do you do when you feel lonely how do you deal with it is two ways to deal with the one ways to meet new people the other way is to go and find something that you really enjoy doing something that makes you lose track of time I want you to imagine at the time where you felt like time just went by really quickly okay so for me personally this could be playing a video game for example I played a lot of video games in the past especially during university days during high school days to kind of kill time it was not a good habit because it kind of killed my own time and didn't let me meet a lot of new people on the other hand I did enjoy a lot of these gaming sessions okay I went on and played for hours and hours during the weekends whenever I had spare time because I was not around a lot of people I did not have a lot of friends to hang out with during those days by playing video games you can interact with some other people from the other side of the planet maybe they're from your local area you can talk to them via Skype you can talk to them by the gaming chat in-game option for you so that you can coordinate gameplay and have a great time whilst Sun of socializing with other people from your particular region from your part of the planet it's a great way to play games it's a great way to socialize it's great way to talk to other people when you don't have a lot of company this is one of the ways you can pass time you might have some other hobbies you might enjoy sports you might enjoy exercise doing something that motivates you something that gives you a goal to work towards so give you something to work towards for the future and it allows you to accomplish something for the long term that's something worthwhile for you personally that couldn't give you a lot of motivation it can give you a lot of satisfaction to do that and one of the things I'm doing right now is making these videos online demoing on camera trying to overcome my fear of being camera and being anxious in front of other people in general this is something that I'm doing every single day and it's quite challenging at the same time it is very rewarding at the same time it gives me a sense of satisfaction at the end of every video regardless have the video went because I've put myself out there in front of random people put myself in front of a possibly hostile crowd they might not even like my video they might not like my face but I'm putting myself out there anyway to these in size myself to what other people are thinking about me it's a great way to express yourself and it's also very therapeutic and cathartic to share your experiences with people around you I'm sure a lot of you can relate to some of the things that I've been talking about recently and it's been a really really good experience sharing all of these different issues and feelings and emotions and ideologies with you right here on this channel you can look for some other hobbies you can maybe read a book if you're into book reading then you'll be like book for me I like to watch youtube videos I like to watch self-help YouTube videos I like to learn about different parts of the world I like to educate myself as much as I can I find a lot of the videos to be very entertaining and also educational at the same time learning about something you really expands your mind it gives you a piece of perspective that you normally would not have it's really good to share your perspective with others and also at the same time learn from others as well that's always been my personal mantra and philosophy to be able to learn share information the more you learn from others the more you share with others the more your manic your mind will expand and the more you will see the world in a more sort of in a more equilibrium kind of way okay in an unbiased kind of way does the words that I'm trying to express right here having an unbiased opinion of the world by looking at facts coming from many different angles you will learn how to into what's happening around you wherever you are right now wherever you might be whatever you might be facing right now you can kind of shout out your biases from your home country and looking at the entire world from a holistic perspective you are able to see different situations from a different perspective through a different lens so that then you can make the most informed decision in that particular situation rather than using your personal biases that you have grown up with from living in your hometown on your home country go out there find something you really enjoy it could be blogging it could be making videos it could be talking to strangers so what I used to do back in Sydney when I had free time on the weekend and if I didn't have anything on on the weekend I would go out to speak to strangers I would just go out to the shopping mall talk to some random people talk to the shopkeepers to keep myself in a social kind of state of mind to keep myself socially active I would speak to random people I would go on the bus okay go to a location maybe go to the beach go somewhere random and connect with a random person the ability to connect with a random person by generating conversation just go up to them and approach them and say hello start introducing yourself start asking them about themselves and you will find that connection sometimes okay maybe it's one out of five people you will build that deep connection it's very very good feeling to have to be able to build that special kind of connection with random people it makes you feel like the world okay the world is all connected and you're not alone loneliness is something that you will experience in developed first world country because everyone is disconnected it's all about individuals the most of the time especially if you're from the USA you will get that feeling okay the feeling of not being part of something because everyone is so doing their own thing and on the go all the time going shopping going to pick up the kids going to whatever they need to do to work to study and whatever the they need to do so being able to speak to people that anywhere okay in any place at any period of time that gives you the freedom it really gives you that sense of the world is your oyster because you can go out there you can speak to anyone if you feel bored if you feel lonely if you feel like you need to speak to someone to connect with other humans if you have that skill if you have developed that skill then you will be basically a person who is able to move around the world anywhere you want you're able to speak to anyone that you want to and that gives you the feeling of complete freedom and mastery of the world so try that if you get bored try that okay try and go out and speak to people as much as you can it can be any place you can be a shopping mall it can be just at a food court okay this is what I used to do in the workplace when I was on my lunch break at work in the corporate environment downtown Sydney CBD okay we call it CBD central business district some other people in North America they say downtown because it's in the middle of the city that's what the high-rise buildings are where the office blocks up so what I used to do I used to go to the different food courts every day again so I don't become the the guy that's well-known or famous I would approach random people I would talk to them just at lunchtime if I didn't have anything on if I didn't have any meetings with anyone at lunchtime I would just go talk to random people it was a great way to interact it was a great way to build a connection with someone that you don't know in the feeling the satisfaction you get from that is is a very undescribable situation it gives you this kind of high it's very addictive to be able to speak to people randomly and it really kills your anxiety akil's your fears your kills your lowness in the world once you develop that skill once you experience it is like nothing else I guarantee you it's like nothing else it's like complete bliss complete freedom and it gives you that complete feeling of euphoria it's like a drug okay it's very addictive I recommend you try to do that so find hobbies go out to talk to people if you can and try to meet new people every day these are the two things on one hand find some hobbies that you really enjoy something that is going to change your life something that is worthwhile something that is rewarding something that gives you motivation so walk working out exercise is a great example because if so for example I'm doing exercise right now every day in the morning before I make these videos I do some exercise just in my room I'm doing some exercises there okay on some YouTube videos I can see some different exercise routines that are quite good okay I've tried out a few different ones and found something that I think is gonna work really well something really efficient okay so do a little bit of bodybuilding bit of push-ups a bit of crunches a bit of Domino exercises that can get your blood pumping and it gives you that motivation okay so my goal right now is to gain a few kilos okay I want to be able to gain some weight it's something that I've never done before I'm a I'm a a thin person by nature so what do you call these people I think it's endomorphs ectomorphs and mesomorphs mesomorphs of fat people ectomorphs are kind of in the middle athletic and endomorphs are kind of the thin kind of people so my body type is that this the thin type of people I've always been quite quite lean okay I'm not the athletic muscular kind of body shape I'm trying to gain five kilos in the next maybe six months I'm eating a lot and I'm doing a lot of body building exercises right now in the morning okay hopefully it shows hopefully you can see my muscles flex right now again you can see that yeah all right that's that's my workout routine starting to show all right so that really gives you motivation that's one example when you start to do the muscular endurance exercises it releases endorphins in your brain it starts to build your body so that the extra weight that you put in through eating ok the extra calories it becomes more muscular okay you build muscle instead of building fat but I don't mind building fat first because he can always convert that into muscle you can always do that but for me my personal problem has been it's always difficult to gain fat for some reason for some reason my body just not it just doesn't get fat regardless of how much I eat so I'm trying to eat as much as I can right now to try and increase the calories so I can gain five kilograms see how it goes okay I'll make these videos continuously and you can tell me if I look fatter than right I am right now I'm about just over 80 kilos right now 82 on an empty stomach in the morning before I do anything I'm about 82 kilograms so I'm looking to get to like 87 around the 90 kilograms man okay just to see if I'm able to gain that way it's one of the challenges that I've set for myself I think it's quite interesting it's quite rewarding as well to be able to gain that weight so I look like I'm able to fight with people you know especially if you're in the u.s. if you are in the u.s. they emphasize having muscle because it's about fighting it's very competitive arena and it's all about fighting people okay in the USA if you are here it's about how you can kind of verbally defend yourself verbally fight with people fight them to the death by talking them to death and also it's about how physical you can get with them okay if the if if it ever arises where your verbal would you Jitsu has pissed somebody off okay they're not they're not able to compete with you on a verbal basis okay face to face verbal basis you're destroying them okay you're beating the out of them through talking to them they might resort to you know the fistfights you got to get ready for that as well that's why you got to build up your body so you can defend yourself against racist people especially in the USA that's very important as well so do that okay because it gives you this motivation you're trying to see results you're trying to put in work and see the results this is something that I encourage you to do find activities where you can put in work and you can see the future benefits you can kind of see your own progression over time find those kind of activities and other than that go made people everyday try to meet someone new every single day so that you are able to build that friendship group okay so do two of these things at the same time in combination with each other and I guarantee your life will improve for the future so once again thanks for watching my name is James coming to you live from Las Vegas Nevada the United States of America see you next time peace out and enjoy the rest of your day see you tomorrow

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