Porn Addiction Destroyed Her Relationship Ft. Arica Angelo



if you're a guy and you're addicted to porn like and you think oh I'm not hurting anybody it's not true you are you're if you cannot do it for yourself then do it for the person you love if you can't if you're a single man and you're alone and you're like well it's just me and I don't have a partner but what I'm telling you is so is this ex-boyfriend he was doing it while he was single and guess what love came in his life and it just chewed up that love and spit it out and I'm saying if you ever want to have sustainable love this right now what you do today is sowing seed for your future for your tomorrow so if you think it's fine because I'm just alone and I'm not affecting anyone that's not true this is poisoning your soul lovely Erica Angela thank you for having me Luke we actually met in Thailand a couple months ago and now here we are no way it's nice we know each other in Los Angeles we meet out in Chiang Mai and now and we were supposed to shoot YouTube's in Chiang Mai and we just never could and so here we are doing it in Los Angeles where we love and Erica is dating and relationship expert yes she has some really awesome videos on her channel so I'll put a link below make sure to check out her channel but in this video we're gonna talk about porn and porn addiction from the perspective of a female and Erica was in a relationship where the guy got addicted to porn and she was telling me about this when we were in Thailand then it really gave me a perspective that was really valuable and would be really valuable for my audience yeah yeah so I'll just kind of go into this story of it Luke um we met and everything was a great it was a great relationship he lived further away from me and so I ended up relocating my life to to go live with him and I felt this like everything was wonderful like we got along great it was like course this makes sense to just move everything for this guy and then as soon as I got there something you know us women are so intuitive and so something inside I was like this doesn't feel right this guy has just gone cold on me I'm like he's gone from like loving me and adoring me and thinking I'm the best thing since sliced bread and now there's just nothing and I felt that shut off immediately and I was like what is going on what is going on and right when you move in right when I move in and it as a woman I was terrified I'm like what did I just do and I'm you know and I'm a very strong woman so I'm like well I got to make it work we've got to make this work and so it just we kind of went on and it started to unravel more and more and more and more and the distance continued to grow and it went from a guy who just adored me and could keep his hands off of me – if I touch him he would just cringe and I'm like well what the hell is happening here and so I being the aggressive strong person I am I'm like we're gonna talk about this what is going on I'm talking to your friends what's happening and so he starts sharing with me then he has issues with intimacy and this and that and I'm like okay he's like it showed up in my other relationships but things still just weren't adding up I'm like okay then we can address that we can heal that we can work through that wasn't adding up and he I started getting very suspicious you know as women like if our intuitions right and the answers that you're giving us are not adding up guess what we do we start digging because we're like no my intuition is always right I'm gonna start digging and so one day while he was off at work I said you know what I'm gonna go digging through his computer I had no idea what I was going to find and I start digging through and I go through file folder after file folder and folder within folder and I'm just like ripping this thing apart and all of a sudden there it is and I see this blonde with tits out to here I'm like it's not even attractive like it was just over the top and I was like what is this now mind you I was shocked because this guy was pretty like self righteous and you know kind of like you know by-the-book kind of guy so I was just and then I went through and it was just image after image after image after image and so I did what every loving girlfriend would do and I took that picture and I blew it up as his desktop saver so that when he came home and I said hey go take a look at your computer and he walked in and he went oh my god and I said yeah motherfucker oh my god and so here we had been together for months I had no idea and I'm like what is this like it was always a secret thing this secret thing I'm like why is this so hidden and why have you never told me about in fact when I've talked about things regarding a sexual nature you've been actually quite judgmental towards me but here you've been hiding your dirty secret all along while judging me what is this and so I think that's that is what shame does shame you know it not only pigeons you into a dark corner but it also needs to do that to other people by judging them as well I think you know you see it so many times that people who are very like black and white about seven they judge it and then you realise that they got it too you know yeah and so I was just like and so he just starts bawling crying and he says this is an addiction that I've had for many years and nobody knows about it no one well and I said what is this what's going on he said if I get stressed out with work if I get into a big fight with someone like if I'm in a relationship I run here and this is what I do I'm like so you're basically like stroking your cock to these women that you've never met and he's like and of course he's just more shameful as I say that and I I was livid I would it wasn't even so much a point it was it was the secretiveness I just felt so betrayed I felt gutted but it what happened was it just didn't make sense me like why wasn't this person touching me why is this person one minute in love with me and all of a sudden just detached from me and and repulsed by me how does this happen and I had never heard of someone being addicted to porn I knew about porn I you know when high school guys would watch porn we laugh at it but I never heard of someone being full-on addicted to it becoming a really big problem for lots of guys no yeah I heard one psycho psychologists say that it is the new it's a crack cocaine it's it's it's it's just bad as heroin the brain yeah and so I just talked about going through a dark tunnel and you're just like and it's not it's not something that you go and talk to a lot of people like why are you and your boyfriend having problems oh because he's addicted to masturbating to other women that he doesn't know like it's not an easy thing to go and help him so it was like this dark thing that we were going through together and I have to say porn addiction is a wild beast because as strong as I was I could not separate him from it like it was going as far as like I and it was driving me crazy I was going nuts I'm like not only can you not touch me which is the woman that you love but you're like fascinated with other women like that's such a betrayal to a woman when you're like I have given you my heart and and you're betraying me it it feels like a betrayal it's like you can say oh it's just an image it's just this but as a woman when when your man is going away in secret and and expressing himself intimately through jacking off to somebody else it cuts you it cuts your soul it just I was just devastated I remember I had some friends who reached out to me and they would see my pictures on Facebook and they were like get out of that relationship my face was just sinking in I was I was getting like I was not hungry anymore and my bones were protruding my clothes were fitting loose I was a walking dead person I just I had no I had no lens for what this looked like I had no outlet and so it was just like I was dying this slow disappointing addiction was a strong it was destroying me it was absolutely destroying me and finally I just you know I said I can't do this what and why am I doing this to myself and so I did the ultimate savage move which I've told Luke about but I said to him I am I'm going back I'm going I'm going home I'm going to my mom and dad I'm gonna go move with them I'm leaving you but before I did that I picked up the phone I knew it sounds like a bitch move but I knew if I didn't do something this drastic he would stay enslaved to this for the rest of his life and he was too good of a person to stay living slaved by this so I picked up the phone and called his very religious parents and said I just want you to know that your son and I have been having huge problems and we can't seem to get them resolved and I'm leaving him but you should know that your son has a major porn addiction and that it has severed our relationship and his parents said thank you so much for telling us he looked at me and he said I cannot believe you did that I was beside himself because these were the one people that like he did not want to know and you know I left him and there is that pain of loss of now that's a shame waits to be exposed yeah shame hates light it wants to stay in the dark it just Fester's it's like mold it's like yo just give me the darkness and I'm good yeah when you I say it's like shining a light on it when you shine a light on shame it's like you know I can't hide yeah and so what I essentially did was set him up so that he could no longer hide yeah and I have to say that this guy he ha he really became very dogmatic about overcoming his addiction to pornography to the point where people at work would pass photos around of women and he would say get that fucking shit out of my face get it out of my face and they're like what man it's just a naked girl and he's like no there is an addiction behind that amongst men and I do not want anything that this thing has destroyed my life get it out of my face and it is tons of strength you know what humor might he would tell me this journey after we were broken up and what I would he reminded me of with someone training to be a bodybuilder like that's how much tenacity and focus and strength required yeah discipline immense distraction is no joke it is serious and so I watched him go through this journey and I have to say that that guy you know he went he went through it for about a year of just overcoming it and finding themself because you know you lose yourself an addiction addiction becomes more powerful than you it takes control of you and anymore in something takes control over us we feel helpless we lose our sense of identity especially sex addiction is you're directly to her sense of identity yes Who am I who do I belong to who do I belong to myself like yeah you just lose yourself in it and so he went through a full year of not only breaking the addiction but like reclaiming himself back in that and super awesome lots of guys just stay addicted for years and years well not when your mom and dad no but huh but I have to say a year after going through that he was really really desiring to to get married and you know I I was not that person for him and I think it was a year after he overcame this addiction he got married like that and his wife – happy ending yeah his wife is like sent from heaven she's like an angel she's beautiful she's sexy like she is everything he could have hoped for and it was just amazing to to go from that dark place with him in that journey and then to see him on the other side and such a happy loving relationship it's awesome is a miracle ya know and you couldn't saved his life by telling his parents yeah yeah and it was so weird because I think this is a thing about shame and addiction to it really physically started changing him I would say your eyes are a different color now they started his I started changing colors and it's just yes physicality you just got totally change white Walker from Game of Thrones to the point where I was when I went back to my parents and I showed my mom pictures of us at New Year's Eve and my mother looked at me and she was pissed and I'm like what happened she was like who is this guy who is this guy that you're hanging out with where is your boyfriend and I was like mother that is him no Erica that is not him and I said no mom it was that noticeable it was that Wow and I had a friend who kind of went through this same thing and I just saw pictures of of her significant other on Facebook and I knew just looking at his pictures I saw the same gray eyes I saw the soleus face the lifeless face I saw the I'm just here like a zombie I'm just here going through the motions no life whatsoever and I said to her I didn't say your partner has a porn addiction I just said he is doing something behind the scenes and it's it's destroying town so you could tell and then it was it was about three or four or five months later it came out that there is this problem with porn and I was like it was just all over them it was all over his face it just really it's like when you see these drug addicts someone on a method and meth addict or someone who's just completely addicted to drugs it's like it pulls their soul from them and that's what I've seen with men who have a porn addiction it's like they lose their soul you can see it on their face the life just flies out of their eyes and I'm like you can't tell me that this stuff is so great if it's stealing people's souls if it's robbing their life from them if it's destroying marriages and relationships and break homes you can't tell me that it's wonderful I think it's an epidemic now yeah like my mom's a therapist and she says more and more couples are coming in where there's there's a porn addiction and there's all these problems especially when there's like kids involved and it's it's it's becoming a huge issue of porn just destroying people's relationships and you're fortunate to have gone through this earlier into you and the boyfriend both came out healed and that's that's really awesome I have to be transparent though Luke I think for me it really did a number on me as I I definitely had my own issues of needing to love myself more and not giving so much power to this person to have all of my love wrapped up in them but I will say that being rejected by a man who once loved you and then is repulsed by you and can't touch you and can't look at you because he can only get off based on what's on a screen it's like dying a new death every day it's like giving a part of a part of who you are every day that they reject you it's like taking a piece of you every day and I think it was two years after that two or three years after that I had gotten into another relationship and we had gone through a breakup and I talked to this ex-boyfriend the guy who had the porn addiction and I just cried and I said you you told me that my breasts weren't big enough you told me that my arms were too skinny you said these words over me and I cannot get them out of my mind I cannot get them out of my DNA a year later this is years like the two three years later I'm like I cannot get them off of me and he just said Erica I'm so sorry yeah he said I'm so sorry you know what they say that hurt people hurt people but it was like and that's what shame does is it's like I need to hide but I need to hurt the other people around me so that I'm not alone in my darkness like like I feel so bad but you're bad and it becomes a very attacking and so it took me years of being healed by having you know another you know thankfully now I'm in a loving relationship and like I get poured love on me all the time so it's healed that but I just wanted you to know like if you're a guy and you're addicted to porn like and you think oh I'm not hurting anybody it's not true you are you're if you cannot do it for yourself then do it for the person you love if you can't if you're a single man and you're alone and you're like well it's just me and I don't have a partner but what I'm telling you as so is this ex-boyfriend he was doing it while he was single and guess what love came in his life and it just chewed up that love and spit it out and I'm saying if you ever want to have sustainable love this right now what you do today is sowing seed for your future for your tomorrow so if you think it's fine because I'm just alone and I'm not affecting anyone that's not true this is poisoning your soul and it's creating a root system inside of you so that when you get into that relationship and you want to produce good fruit so to speak if you're a tree and you want to produce good fruit you're only going to produce poison because that's what it does is it poisons you to the core and so I just want to encourage you if you've thought about coming out of addiction you're like I don't I don't like I don't want to see a woman like you get hurt by a guy like me then I say if you can't do it for yourself and start with doing it for her or for your potential love but whatever you do stop go on that journey you know Luke you you have done it done it therapy and and you held work it's hard work but you help men get out of this yeah it's infinitely worth it it's totally learned I'd rather I'd rather go through a year's worth of work and get my life back than be a slave or a bitch to some addiction yeah you know you think give me the year of brutal work but if I get my live years of real worth of you earth yeah if I get my life back and if I'm in control of me yeah there's no better yeah there's no better I get my power back yeah but as long as you're addicted to this you have to face the fact that you are no longer in charge of you that you're lending your power to someone else do you want to do that and if not I highly encourage you someone like Luke I mean this is so vulnerable for a guy who's a single man to create a whole youtube channel about porn addiction this is a labor of love so if you have someone who is that you you need help you need someone to talk to this guy is pouring out his life to help men like you come out of this don't be stupid take advantage of this take advantage of his good heart that wants to help you and him to work for you and I told Luke I'm like and you don't charge enough so he's not even charging you about if you should be charging you a lot more money because it's hard work thank you yeah and everything you just said is really a really beautiful and powerful yeah yeah that was I could tell us straight from the heart and lots of guys are gonna hear that and that's gonna really transform your gonna this videos gonna create lots of positive ripples for lots of men and women yeah yeah thanks for thanks for being on the channel thanks for saying everything that they just they just said it totally and also one last thing I do want to say I think the thing about shame is shame tells you that you're worthless and that you're nothing and I want to say to you baby dog that in your shame and in your darkness and when you're in your room and the addiction is taking over you please know that in that very moment that you were loved that even when you feel unlovable and you feel horrible and you feel wretched that love is always greater than your addiction and that love will never abandon you and so even in the moment in the middle of you jacking off to some porn that in that moment that you are still loved beautiful yeah I really liked what you said um even though that boyfriend had the porn addiction that the biggest thing was him not opening up about it and the biggest thing was I'm like hating it and if he was open about it and it was working on it that would have been so much of a difference yeah yeah that just kills the trust yeah which is a necessary foundation for relationships absolutely yeah this this video came out really awesome yeah I'm very happy yeah for anyone who would like to find you I'll put a link to your channel down below is there anything else you like you have a website that you'd like me to shout out or anything yeah you can mainly I would love for you to come to my youtube channel and you can always go to my website it's Erica a Ric a Angelo com definitely check her out lots of really excellent wisdom and advice and videos excellent coaching for the guys who need it just talking to her it's helped me feel more comfortable woman I feel it's definitely check her out if you liked the video give a thumbs up comment your thoughts below and we wish you an excellent day Thank You Luke peace

38 comments

  1. This video was demonetized and will have "limited or no ads"… I guess because we talk about the adult topic of pornography… This is a big reason I really appreciate Patreon support (https://www.patreon.com/GoldJacketLuke )! BIG thank you to GoldJacketLuke Patreons. We also really appreciate likes and comments as they help videos rank higher. Thank you & hope you like the video! Big thank you to Arica for creating this with me! It takes courage to publicly talk about this. Link in the description to a video we made on her channel!

  2. grttt video porn is really destroying it really destroyed me in my carrer and relationship i am now strating again on my journey and i will succeed in overcoming this addiction

  3. hi luke, anyone that follows your channel knows the dangers of pmo by this point. are you able to discuss the METHODOLOGY that you or people you know use to beat the addiction. I know you went 500 plus days, can you do content on how?…. blockers, accountability partners etc. thanks

  4. This interview will go down in history has a must watch for all men AND women. Porn is toxic in a relationship

  5. Thank you so much for this video. I cried several times… The dying a new death everyday really hit me. My partner is the PA and I've been torn apart by it. I struggle everyday. Porn is lure evul and the difference beteeen how they "look" when theyre using is SO true!

  6. I was on nofap for 60 days, but I still used to watch porn and make myself horny but touching my dick a little but not cumming, but yesterday 😓 I mistakenly came suddenly with so much flow while touching, I was devastated later, then after 2 hours I had the urge to relapse once again last time, then again today I couldn't stop myself from relapsing, now i need help to go again on nofap 😣, every single time after relapsing, I'm deciding from now on I wont fap, and now I truly will, but i need some mental help

  7. After three divorces, a bottle of lotion and porn hub doesn’t seem so destructive…just saying…

  8. I had porn addiction for 30 years. I haven't engaged in porn since December 23, 2017. I know I will always be tempted by it, but through Christ Jesus, I will never watch it ever again. ✝️🙏❤️

  9. Man that's was Beautiful Every Man Needs to Hear this an See How Porn is Destroying yourselves and jacking up your penis Man Power saving your Sperm for Beautiful Women so you can Last Longer in Bed an have Incredible Sex Thank You Nofap Forever go get some Cheeks from Women before you jack off 💪😎🙏🏽

  10. I've just recently gave up porn porn ruined my relationship with girl I couldn't get it up 😭 ithat was a year ago so the girl don't want me no more Healing is Needed

  11. If you don't agree with what she did, don't forget she proved to be positive for him and was a catalyst that saved him in the end, so she does really have intuition

  12. Pixels are not real guys. Real women are out there in the world around you! You become a more social person, it's beautiful.

  13. aint no Stacey and Chad gonna tell me how to live my foookin life REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

  14. This women has to understand that men will masturbate or have sex with women they don’t know. Women need an emotional connection to feel comfortable and intimate in a sexual experience. For men it’s the sexual experience that they first desire then the emotional connection follows after. Men and women are opposites.

  15. Yes Porn Destroying yourself and Body and the Weakens the penis Definitely Big Facts 🙏🏽💪😎

  16. Even though it ultimately worked out for the guy, I still think it was wrong for her to tell his parents about his addiction. She mentioned that his parents were quite religious and he felt a lot of shame about porn. That social environment of negative attitudes towards sex teaches kids to repress their sexuality. Then when they discover porn, they've finally found a way to deal with that stress within them. They just needed a loving adult to tell them that what they're feeling sexually is normal and ok. When we bond during developing years with elders, it actually wires our brains to deal with stress in a healthy way. Porn addicts, just like any other kind of addict, became helpless to some kind of behavior as a way to deal with stresses in their social environment that their brain was emotionally underdeveloped to deal with. I also have heard the story of a porn addict whose super religious parents found out about it and it just made his problems and shame a lot worse. It wasn't till he understood the traumatic social environment that his shame came out of that he was able to begin healing. I think addiction recovery in general and nofap specifically have a wrong view of how addiction works. Addiction was the only way an underdeveloped brain had of dealing with the stresses of life. Painting it as this individual failing due to a lack of willpower is just ignorant of the research and further stigmatizes the addiction creating more shame and alienation reinforcing the desire to use. Men are addicted to porn because they were raised in an environment that has both contradictory and toxic ideas about sex and relationships. We should focus more on understanding and healing the pain underlying addiction instead of just framing recovery as a challenge for an individual to overcome.

  17. Porn is psychologically harmful, we have research based evidence to support this. Nevertheless, it’s not okay to invade someone’s privacy and betray their trust like this woman did. Not okay ever.

  18. I don't know what is the most saddest aspect, when people get into doing pornography or when they become addicted to watching it? It seems to hurt lives in all regards. An interesting video and funny in how she dealt with him finding it on his computer… turning it into the desktop background… hahaha.

  19. Luke, this is totally unrelated, but in one of your videos from several years ago, you mentioned how you went to a psychiatrist or some kind of a psychiatrist test, and they told you that your neurotransmitters and brain chemicals such as serotonin were out of balance. You said this was one of the reasons for your social anxiety. I don't know your situation right now, but if you still struggle with mood swings and social anxiety (I was in an identical situation), please check a Facebook group called Andy Cutler: Safe Mercury and Heavy Metal Detox. This can literally turn your life around. All my life I struggled with social anxiety, OCD, and other unexplainable issues, tried meditation, supplements, pickup, you name it, NOTHING solved the issue – until I found out it was mercury. Please, rule out mercury poisoning, so many people are poisoned and they don't even know it. You can get mercury from amalgam silver tooth fillings, from your mom if she had amalgams while carrying you, or from vaccines, fish or environment. People pay to go to expensive holistic doctors, shamans, take psychedelics etc, but NOTHING helps unless you get rid of the root issue – mercury, one of the worst neurotoxic elements in the world. This is life's work of the doctor named Andy Cutler. He created a safe protocol for people to chelate mercury. There are many unsafe protocols out there that just make people sicker. Luke, if you have any unexplainable health symptoms, or if you still struggle with social anxiety, please, check this facebook group. It could literally turn your life around. It did mine. Your long-time fan.

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