good morning miss Beaumont my name is Alisa France it's such a pleasure to meet you please have a seat okay thank you I offer you a bottle of water today no thank you a boy okay so as I mentioned before my name is Alissa harms I'm a social worker here at Oceanside Counseling Center I specialize in family counseling substance abuse as well as child welfare I see that you've had the opportunity to read through the contract but I wanted to let you know again then everything we discussed within our meetings today and going forward I will honor confidentiality unless of course you've talked about harming yourself or others I guess that's up to you that sounds fine I'm just a little concerned about your age you look really young and you've been doing this or how old school oh no I don't mind it all I'm actually glad that you brought that to my attention I thing with this company now for two months I have been fully trained towards your situation such as this I am a hundred percent confident in my ability to work with you and I would love the pleasure to do that with you if you give me that chance okay yeah that sounds fair okay great so I do recall that you were referred to us by your pastor rubber white house and you've had some concerns about your alcohol intake as well as concerns within your family so today's session is going to involve a lot of me asking questions so get a better understanding of where we are this way we could work together to develop a plan to help you overcome some of those struggles throughout the meeting you will see me taking some notes about some of the stuff that we're talking about and so far how does everything sound to you it sounds good um just the only thing is I you know as you know I've been through treatment a couple times before and I've gone back to drinking each time so I just don't know what's gonna be different this time okay so you're saying that you're in treatment in the past and sometime after your treatment you've reverted back to alcohol and that maybe you have some concerns and your war this time it will go for you yeah I mean you know want to control my drinking and I'm aware that it's been a problem I just you know question myself sometimes okay well you know I don't want you worrying so much about what happened in the past we're going to focus on what we're doing today I do want to acknowledge that you are here today and you're taking that step forward to make some changes and that's a huge accomplishment something that you should be proud of for doing so I just didn't really think about that so I do recall that you were in inpatient treatment in the past and you just mentioned again that you reverted back to alcohol let's go over some of the things that need me triggered that drinking what happened during that time to make you go back to alcohol I can't I don't know it really came to give a specific I just um I lost control of my life and when you say you lost control of your life what are you referring to what does what does that mean to you well shortly after my daughter was born my father passed away and that was very traumatic because I grew up with both my parents but my mom is an alcoholic so I don't have much of a relationship with her you know I've always been daddy's little girl so I can only imagine how tough that must have been for you to lose your father at that time in your life it seems to me that maybe at that point you fell extremely depressed which is understandable so what happened was I ended up drinking with my mother's daughter Cynthia unfortunately she has fetal alcohol syndrome so it's been really tough deal I'm sure that's been tough for you and your family our agency has some information regarding fetal alcohol syndrome at the ending of today's session if you're interested I could give you the information and it goes over ways to get you connected with other parents who are also in the similar situation as our own to affect something you're interested in you can definitely provide you with that I mean it sounds like a great idea but I just don't know how I'm gonna find the time I'm so busy okay but I do notice they are extremely motivated let's talk about some of the support systems you have who would you describe be in your support circle I'm will my pastor we're talking about him nice very supportive and then my sister April she's been great so she's probably like my biggest supporter besides pastor that's great that you would say that your sisters a big support in your life at this moment I am concerned that you didn't mention your husband how is your relationship with your husband I was he dealing with everything at this moment well you know I'm not sure sometimes I feel like he's angry at me because my drinking and I think he blames me for you know the situation Cynthia so it's not like it used to be once I thought my buddy used to be could you say more about that well I just feel like my husband blames me for Cynthia's fetal alcohol syndrome and it's really putting a strain on our marriage I just I feel like I let him down so you're saying to me if I'm understanding correctly that things have a fight with those things and it was diagnosed we feels frustrated with you yeah I mean don't get me wrong he's supportive you know he he really helps the family out financially the love is still there just you know the communication it just hasn't been the same lately so he's still extremely supportive so that is a plus right and we just wish you guys could talk like you used to get it actively things used to be yeah you know he's very supportive it's just you know everything's focusing on the kids another family making sure the kids are taken care of I just feel like we could communicate like we used to ensure our feelings so it sounds to me that you guys are more focused on making sure the kids gets one time often didn't offer appointments and she's well taken care of but you still feel he blames me it's kind of hard to into your conversation am i right yeah and I wasn't always like this and I was just after the situation with Cynthia and you know you don't speak like we used to we had a good life a great life actually just things have changed okay so there was a point where you guys did get along relatively well so Sally I want you to do something suppose you went to bed tonight and you woke up tomorrow morning a miracle supposedly happened what would that American look like for you um a miracle I think maybe that the commune Haitian problems with my husband will just disappear okay so what might your husband notice about you that would be different that would make you want to talk more well I'm definitely see them happier I wouldn't be so stressed riding bikes doing the activities that we used to do before heading back to the US rather than you know mom and dad or husband wife Oh be more togetherness so it sounds like mom could possibly be solved if you guys just wanted to communicate a little bit better um you know hopefully I hope we get there one day but that's just when my biggest problems you know I struggle a lot with feeling guilty I guess shame about my daughter's fetal alcohol syndrome you know I just I feel like he's upset with me and I feel like I deserve it okay so what I'm hearing is in addition to your marital conflicts and give it a yes is is very difficult for you could you express to me what that's like well yeah I tend to blame myself and on % dia she's in developing the way she should from what the doctors have been telling me you know this very upsetting to me as a mother there never want that for any of my children and it's just just way too much for me to handle well I understand that must be extremely difficult for you you know your child is going through this and you're worrying about it be like your fault are you feeling guilty about it yeah I'm very disappointed very feel so much guilt I just wish things would change my life is a shambles right now so when you say your life is in shambles what exactly does that mean um it's really hard on me right now I know it's my fault I join my pregnancy there's no denying that I wish I didn't like hard on me because I know if I didn't drink with Cynthia none of this would happen and she would have you know normal development just like my there okay so I know you're feeling remorseful about all that has happened because she can take it all back I do because I love her enough to stop drinking and I feel like that I'm a good mother people in America so I'm hearing is you know you're really not as bad as you may think you managed to make all of that disappointments as well as keep your household together and that's very commendable but I don't know I feel like I'm a good mother but and I'm really not what mother would drink you know throughout her pregnancy he would do that to her child it's understandable why you feel the way you feel it's a very difficult time for you right now and you have a lot going on the way the world is pretty much on your shoulders right now but um you need to give yourself some more credit I don't think you're I don't think you're that bad the fact that you came in today shows some form of motivation and that's called taking the first step to making your life better I know you love Cynthia you wish she'd have to go through this but you do have other children in the home tell me a little bit about John Jr and Marie and how they're handling this this John Jr he's a great help he helps know with everything he kind of reminds me of my father as the compassion I see in him a lot and risk same way she helps a lot Cynthia that's beautiful you really raising children well yeah they both be really good in school that says you know they're on track with their development no no no struggle I don't even know how I manage no raising them that well and that's of everything going on in my life you really should be extremely proud of yourself because I know it's overwhelming with all you are going through let me ask you what is your greatest motivator you wanting to be so it's gotta be my kids my kids are my whole life if it wasn't for them I don't know where I would be so definitely my children that's X biggest motivator that's the reason I'm here today so it sounds like you are very optimistic you still very probably ready to take the first step today thank you I do feel very determined stop using alcohol my family's welfare is extremely important to me so let me ask you Sally what how is it that you came to this decision to stop drinking something just needed to change my life has been going downhill it seems I wake up with headaches in the middle of the night it's just it's not good for my house so it sounds to me like if you stop drinking your physical health and your mental health would improve um yeah no now I feel like my drinking is the biggest issue that I have to deal with at the moment you know something only one but it's the big one so you mentioned that you tried to stop drinking several times before can you tell me a little bit more about that of course so I've been in treatment in the past a few times I've been rehab twice I just and so we went back to alcohol is there anything in particular that calls you to do them um no um no family I mean I don't recall it's just a lot going on in my life between Cynthia you know mostly says sis so when you say treatment I'm talking an inpatient or outpatient um pulla for inpatient treatments for 28 days I did do an outpatient length counseling after that it was ago and what were those experiences like you know it didn't work out for me I felt like the people that I was dealing with they were mature very young I just didn't feel comfortable and you know that's why I asked him in the beginning I was curious about your age it's just because of my experience in the past I see so that made you a little uncomfortable so I just want you to know that it's not unusual sometimes for the client to feel connection that doesn't mean that they you know they have to end their relationship so what I'd like to propose in our counseling will attrition things that if you feel that way or you're comfortable for some reason that yeah okay good so it sounds like you really want to be sober how long would you say it's been since your last drink I thought a month or so okay and what have you been doing to help yourself not drink honestly I just don't drink you know some days are harder than others so on a scale from zero to ten zero being that you really really want to have a drink at ten being that no desire we'll just say you are at scale probably a four what's different all the days that you didn't drink compared to the days that you did what would you say among the days that I didn't drink and I feel happier me and my husband communicate better better able to deal with everything going on especially with Cynthia's you know I think it's really remarkable that you've been able to find something deep down inside yourself to say you know I'm tired this and I want this up and you know to make that decision I think part of what is happening is that you're realizing you're not a victim that you are strong you are a survivor and you have the resilience to overcome this we're getting close to the end of the recession there's a couple of things I wanted to discuss the first wizard is there anything you mentioned the problems with communication what are the types of things that you're currently struggling with I think you know sometimes I do feel like drinking and I worry that if I express that to my husband that you would think less of me and I just really want to show him that I could do this okay so so you know that's kind of scary because it's nothing or you want to talk to your partner about if you're afraid to do so I just don't think you would understand okay so when those situations who do you talk to that's hard um I talked to my pastor about some things you know I just don't think he really understands my alcoholism to the fullest okay what do you suppose it would be like if you had a clothes from infants at all they won't understand me more that's for sure okay so overall it's difficult to approach people that you're close to to talk about these kind of things but you feel that you know if you were speaking to somebody another recovering alcoholic that would be more successful yeah I think I would feel more comfortable talking to somebody in a similar situation just because there's not that barrier you know them understanding okay the focus of your therapy is is that we want to work on your sobriety and we want to address the issues that caused the depression so so far today we've talked about some of these that they asked about the about the difficulties in communication in the marriage the there's – one of the things that I wanted to talk about and one would be growing up with your mother and on you it's possible they could come into the person I don't know but I want to explore okay the other thing that we really haven't talked to break them about was passing to your father which I know yeah it has been very difficult okay a couple of things I brought along a couple of things that I wanted to give the this is a meeting list while being in the local area okay according to days and time when I grabbed a couple brochures this one is on sponsorship further what sponsors are I imagine the media jewelry the tree yes okay but that'll answer that can answer some additional questions the other thing is is this it's a brochure for people in your new mic if you know a little bit more going into it you might feel a little bit more comfortable I also download some information from adult children of alcoholics and I would like you to review this prior to coming in your next session adult children of alcoholics is Isis 12 12-step being gay and it's it's a support group for people you might be surprised that you have similar problems you're going through far with so many people there the other thing and there are a number of these out here but I brought this along in the mental health association offers a number of groups okay now there's really you know one last question and that is when you came in here I just need to find ways to help me reach sobriety before and you know and ways to address well you know what I think we've accomplished quite a bit and I think we're on the way to create thank you so much

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