Separation Anxiety | The Daily Show

from Comedy Central's World News headquarters in need the Daily Show with Trevor Noah presents separation in time last week the Trump administration announced a new policy to deter illegal immigration if any families are caught entering illegally from Mexico border patrol will take the children away from their parents indefinitely which is a horrible proposal and a great plot for the Mexican reboot of taken I have a particular set of skills I will find you and I will kill you but first I needed to approve my visa then I'm coming for you man so it's a scary time to be an immigrant in America in fact it's gotten so bad that during the World Cup all the announcers on Telemundo have started whispering like he passes to the winger and so every day the Trump administration has been inching closer to their goal of being the Norway of the West but after enacting their latest policy of taking children away from their parents at the border they seem to have hit a wall the battle over the Trump administration zero tolerance policy on immigration is intensifying with lawmakers in both parties condemning it as cruel and inhumane members of the president's own party say the policy is an American former first lady Laura Bush wrote our government should not be in the business of warehousing children in converted box stores evangelicals people like Franklin Graham calling it disgraceful cardinal Dolan called it unjust the Pope tweeted this children must be able to play study and grow in a peaceful environment woe to anyone who stifles their joyful impulse to hope damn if even the Catholic Church is judging you for how you treat children duck and it's not hard it's not hard to see why anyone with a soul is upset right we've all heard the stories about traumatized children the federal government deporting parents but keeping their kids we've even seen images of how homeland security is holding some of these children in cages there's no way that you can defend this unless you work at Fox and Friends because uh I don't know if you guys know this but apparently that cage is not a cage we got from the Border Patrol some of the images inside these detention facilities look I'm from a farm community to me I see that chain-link fences it's more like a like a security pen to me you do see some fencing but keep in mind it some have referred to them as cages but it keep in mind this is a great big warehouse facility where they built walls out of chain-link fences Wow I never ever thought I'd hear a positive spin on detaining children it's like look I'm a cage half-full kind of guy you know after all what is a chain-link fence if not a wall made of silver linings I mean think about it look man we're not idiots a cage is a cage now some have argued that although these images of the cages are disturbing those kids that have been separated from their parents only stay there for 72 hours the first 72 hours after that they get a free upgrade nearly 1500 boys between 10 and 17 years old now live in a converted big-box store we're showing the boys rooms meant for 4 beds now with five classrooms for civics and English lessons the kids play video games shoot pool and play foosball they're getting school and soccer and video games and three squares and two snacks and plenty of sleep they're being fed well they've go on field trips the staff there give them toiletries to give them new clothes it conditions that they're in here in America where they have big meals they have air conditioning they have TV they're being treated much better than most of the conditions I'm being told they left yeah okay you know what maybe you're right maybe these detention centers are nicer than where these kids were living in Honduras but that's not really the point the point is the federal government is effectively stealing kids away from their parents like if some guy unmarked van took your kids from the park the last thing you'd be worried about as a parent is how nice the van was or whether they have the good candy it wouldn't be like ma'am your child was kidnapped no no by a man driving a Bentley oh wow okay you can stop looking yeah you can stop looking for is how the Trump administration has tried to sidestep the backlash for instance this is Kirsten Nielsen the Secretary of Homeland Security and IKEA bookshelf according to her the administration had nothing to do with this at all parents who entered illegally are by definition criminals by entering our country illegally often in dangerous circumstances illegal immigrants had put their children at risk Congress and the courts created this problem and Congress alone can fix it this administration did not create a policy of separating families at the border we are a country of compassion we are a country of heart okay no I'm sorry that's some right that's some you're a country of compassionate country of huh you can't do a fatality on someone and then call it friendship that's not how it works because this administration did create this policy all right it's pretty ballsy to blame Congress for it when three people from your administration already said it was a Trump team idea this is it's BS it's like if Beethoven's said that Beethoven's fifth was written by Johann Nepomuk homo first of all Beethoven your name is in the title okay we know that and second will not humans work relied more heavily on the piano and on pressing the limits of modernity don't even front on that man sorry classical music anyway Nielsen's deceptiveness doesn't even come close to the commander-in-chief because like his space force his lies out of this world president Trump falsely blaming Democrats for his own policy I hate it I hate the children being taken away the Democrats have to change their law that's their law that's the Democrats law we can change it tonight we can change it right now I will leave here no no you need their votes you need their vote you all right first of all no one believes that the Democrats are to blame here the Democrats are like an iPhone 5 at 5:00 p.m. they have no power all right in fact in fact the Democrats have a bill in Congress right now that would stop the government from separating undocumented kids from their parents but because no Republicans have signed on they can't get it passed so look President Trump you got two options man either you can own the fact that this was your plan all along and you don't hate this policy of keeping kids in cages oh you can call up the one person in America with more power than you Beyonce because because if anyone knows how to organize an epic release its ropes people have been outraged all week about the story and it didn't help when Trump's friend and part-time adviser Corey Lewandowski headed south of the decency border former Trump campaign manager Corey Lewandowski on defense right now after appearing to mock reports of an undocumented ten-year-old girl with Down syndrome being separated from her mother I read today about a ten-year-old girl with Down syndrome who was taken from her mother and put in a cage I read about a a they just they won't want to a ten-year-old with Down syndrome anything you heard that but the bottom line is very clear you yeah he did just say womp womp which is funny because that's what he's gonna hand the off to life wait I'm in hell yeah you are wah wah [Applause] every day the family separation stories have gotten worse and worse the outrage has grown first we found out that the kids were being snatched from their parents at the border then we learned they were being kept in cages and yesterday we were reminded oh yeah they have toddlers – the Trump administration is sending babies separated from their parents – at least three facilities in South Texas known as tender-age shelters I'm standing outside of Gossip Presidente it is one of the three tender-age shelters that The Associated Press reported on inside there there are children as they define tender age ten years and younger sweet Lord tender age shelter it's a hell of a fancy way to pronounce baby jail that's a real euphemism it's like calling a cross burning a meatless barbeque and so yesterday people found out that the federal government was snatching children as young as eight months from their parents and people were right for the outrage not just the Trump but also at his homeland security secretary and Cinderella stepsister Kirsten Nielsen the face of the Trump administration's controversial family separation policy homeland security secretary Kirsten Nelson blasted by protesters overnight while trying to eat dinner at a Mexican restaurant in the nation's capital try to ignore the shouting before finally leaving you know this is the one time someone actually wanted a mariachi been to come to their table she was like guys can you get over here play that song pls louder but up all week the big story has been about liberal activists confronting Trump and his senior officials over his immigration policies but according to some this anger is just playing straight into Trump's enormously small hands this is the kind of behavior that rubs a lot of people the wrong way and they say if you're going to attack a president like this and the people who work for him I'm simply going to vote against you this may help the Republicans not lose the house the more that the critics get enraged the more they drive people towards President Trump it's a slam dunk for Trump slam dunk for Trump Wow that's a phrase I never thought I'd hear the physics just don't seem possible but still the question is does liberal outrage at Trump only drive more people to his side well for answers we turn to our senior civility correspondent Michael cost everybody this is this is really confusing well I know it seems confusing Trevor but those pundits are absolutely right it's like when my girlfriend kept accusing me of wanting to sleep with Karen you know she brought it up so much that eventually I slept with Karen again I had already slept with I'm not a great person I'm just making the point wait wait what is the point again the point is like my girlfriend all the Liberals screaming and shouting annoys people so much it makes them vote for Trump but wait isn't there a double standard here Michael I mean like the president's supporters once civility but he's out there calling people bitches and saying that some women are too ugly to assault he's just telling it how it is sorry if it triggers you but it's funny okay but then Robert DeNiro Saint Trump at the Tony Awards that's crude okay that is crude and disgusting if George Washington saw what's become of the Tony Awards Trevor I'm just glad he's dead well here's the thing I guess I just don't understand how people could be more offended at language than policies you know like how conservatives flipped out when Pizza Fonda tweeted that Trump's children should be locked in a cage and and how dare he Trevor how dare Peter Fonda the star of ulee's gold the 123rd top grossing movie of 1997 a man with that kind of power say the president's child should be locked up yep but the president is actually locking up children right now yeah so what sometimes you got a lot kids up but to threaten to lock kids up I just thank God Abraham Lincoln was shot to death before he read that tweet okay but but just so we're clear this is the same side that cheered on corey lewandowski when he mocked a girl with Down syndrome being taken away from her parents do you even have jokes in Africa Trevor Lewandowski was it mocking the girl he was mocking people who think a girl with Down syndrome being separated from her family is sad that it is sad if you don't think that you're heartless oh really Trevor you're calling Trump voters heartless guess what they just got 10 more Trump votes right there where we I just got him 10 more votes that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard oh and now they're stupid too now those 10 people are definitely voting for Trump did you just say that they were already voting for Trump they might have forgotten those people are kind of stupid so should we get this straight if liberal is criticized from he'll get more votes but if they don't do anything then he wins anyway so how can they win the situation don't ask me I mean I had a girlfriend and Karen and now they both kicked me out you know I'm just glad Ronald Reagan is too dead to see this proud American reduced to sleeping in the office of his African boss well wait you're sleeping in my office yes Trevor knew everybody we'll be right back over the past few days outrage has been growing around the Trump administration's new policy of taking kids from their parents at the border and this issue is not going away it's like strip club glitter you know yeah the secret the secret is to use sticky tape a lot of people don't know that now with a lot of trumps other unpopular policies Republican lawmakers have kept quiet and done nothing but this time may be different a growing number of Republicans are urging the administration to end family separations the president has the ability to stop this if you'd like when the president is saying that this is all on the Democrats but it's their law that's just not right that's not true it's not American to do this well the White House could change it in five minutes and they should all of us who are saying these images of children being pulled away from from moms and dads and tears we're horrifying this has to stop I never thought I'd say this but I agree with Ted Cruz seriously no look we've given Ted Cruz a hard time on the show but let's give him props he wants to solve this problem yeah and I think we need to solve it before Ted Cruz decides to go to these detention centers himself because these kids have been through enough please let me out of this cage whoa what's that oh no keep here keep near whoa is that what you guys have on the outside yeah no no I'll stay in here I'll stay here please welcome Congress member Aaron bass [Applause] welcome to the show thank you thanks for having me on it really is the perfect time to have you on because of you experience not just in Congress and on immigration but also with regards to the child welfare system let's talk a little bit about this policy that the Trump administration has now implements its separating kids from their parents there's one element that people don't seem to think about and that is where are the kids going to go if they're taken away indefinitely what strain does that put on the u.s. system well first of all the foster care system is exploding right now because of the opioid crisis so we don't have enough foster homes now for kids who are abused or neglected that's the purpose of the system to protect children right the idea that we would separate children as a punishment and as a deterrent so people won't come and their parents won't do this is just egregious this seems like one of those situations where everyone seems to agree on it and yet there are many who side with Trump there are many who say well I mean if these people come here legally they're breaking the law and if you break the law your children are taken away from you and that's what Congress has to change how do you respond to that well a couple of things many of the people if not the majority of them especially from Central America they are not coming illegally they are abiding by international law they are presenting themselves for asylum that's not illegal and so because the Trump administration wants to change the Asylum laws they are essentially using this as blackmail they're holding the children hostage to force Congress to change legal immigration that's a that's a that's a phrase that we've heard many devout quite a bit recently is that the Trump administration is using these kids as leverage yes we've seen Donald Trump say on numerous occasions votes he said we can vote and we can change this law but it's not as simple as that is it well no and actually we do know now that this policy is not a law this is a policy that the Trump administration put into place so they say Congress did this no Congress didn't do it right could pick up the phone right now and end this if he wants to we do need comprehensive immigration reform I'm afraid we're not gonna get that until we change to the House of Representatives the Senate and the White House and when that changes children in DHS and HHS custody are being well taken care of we have high standards we give the meals we give them education we give the medical care there's videos there's TVs Wow meals education what's anyone even complaining about except you see again this is the same type of excuse that they used in the 40s to defend America's Japanese internment camps the army provided housing plenty of healthful nourishing food for all special emphasis was put on the health and care of these American children of Japanese descent here they would build schools educate their children reclaim the deserts they are not prisoners they are not in Boerne they're merely dislocated people oh yes they're merely a dislocated people yes who dislocated them again that doesn't matter not important so look today's situation isn't the same but the excuses sure sound familiar in fact there is old as America itself which unfortunately makes them too old to be locked up in a tender age shelter Homeland Security Secretary Kirsten Nelson says the government will meet today's deadline to reunite all eligible children and parents who were separated at the border that's right move over tie soccer team that takes weird ass field trips some other kids are being rescued now yeah and it's all thanks to the commander and chief this is so amazing man all the migrant children who are turn away from their families at the border will now be reunited yes except for the hundreds of kids who won't be reunited yeah but I don't think we should focus on the numbers when we're talking about children I mean I believe the children are the future you teach them well and something something something something and I know I know there are naysayers out there who'll be like oh but who took these kids away from their parents in the first place who cares that only matters if you're trying to prevent that from happening again the point is the Trump fixed it he's reunited more families than Maury Povich the point is my friends President Trump can fix any problem just as long as he created him you


  1. I’m sure trump have plans for this kids maybe experiment on them, just saying thouπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ who knows, what will he gain from this πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

  2. Illegals parents should start thinking twice before invading and bringing crimes to this country.

  3. Actually Rep. Bass is factually incorrect when she says the asylum applicants are legal. According to the long standing "United Nations Convention and Protocol Relating to the Status of Refugees" which Mexico has signed onto, the refugees are required to apply for asylum in the first safe country they reach, in this case Mexico presumably, not the US.

  4. Babylon the Great will never change. They used black babies for alligator bate….do you really think they care about these kids!!

  5. Hate to say it, but if you lived in hell and tried to get your family (kids) to a better place. When you got there illegally and they send you back and keep you children its tragic but would relieve me that their in a better place.
    I feel for their parents but for me it would be sad. But I'd feel better knowing that my family name would continue.

  6. All you crying people go and adopt all these children let them live off you

    oh yah thats right that self righteous talk stops there

    Yah trump is a idiot but they all fucking were and thiefs and criminals

  7. I dont get it arent there alot of children taken from parents in this country

    Fuck. Off walk the other way i hear brazil is good

    Dont go in the roughest neighborhood and look for the white van and then be surprised

    No one feels bad for children get taken away here from illegal shit same shit i hope they take them all

    See one man killed by a bear and these people are like fuck it that wont happen to me stupid people

    Sounds like my kid after i take his playstation running his mouth he k ew it was coming

  8. Ok…strange conspiracy theory? He was secretly planning to build "the wall" with them. He always said that Mexico would build it. And here is free labor. So trump comes along…thinking (like a businessman, bottom line) we take these children. Take them from their parents. They don't speak English. Hard workers. They want to get back to both their parents and…eventually…the perks of all these facilities. They start building a wall. He never planned on getting caught. He's that arrogant.

  9. Actually,… YES,… yes you can create a fatality and call it β€œfriendship”. MK has had it since MK2.

  10. Trevor you make me smile every day at my desk. Your Trump impersonations crack me up and are so very true. Keep it up!

  11. Sorry your wrong on this one Trevor! Obama built/converted the big box stores and caged children and then tried to sell the children into sex rings…it is all on record!!! Trump inheritedstem as was and basically all but yelled and has been yelling at Congress to fix it! And the national security woman was correct first it's the parent's responsibility then Congress and then Trump! Trump is only guilty of enforcing laws and facilities created since Clinton!! If the parents do not want their children or selves detained go to American consolates and make applications, come to ports of entry and make apllication DO NOT ILLEGALLY sneak across!!! In doing so the parents put their children at risk of being put there when they are caught!!! If they don't like that then stop coming in illegally!!!

  12. The welfare system has been kidnapping kids from poor people here in the United States and ruining their lives for a very long time. They have a habit of taking kids away from loving parents and putting them in unloving and abusive homes. Nebraska is one of the worst states to live in if you are poor & have children.

  13. So…Trump was attempting to deter immigration by bringing in immigrants. The only difference is that these immigrants had to be raised using those oh so precious tax payer dollars for anywhere from 1 to 18 years before they could be contributing members of society. Not to mention the psychological damage they endured. You see how that doesn't make sense? It would be be better to deport or except the entire family instead of unnecessarily adopting/kidnapping (depending on how you look at it) these kids.

  14. Norway of the west? Immigrants aren't the only ones to b scared, what about US born in American citizens?. 😒……

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