Struggling With My Mental Health – Life Update



hey honeys and welcome back to my channel I'm Steph if you're new great to meet you if you're coming back welcome back I'm nervous oh I always get weird okay so today it's been a while since I've kind of sat and spoken to camera and I just kind of wanted to be really honest um why is it so scary jamieferry motherfucka me so we're like five months into the year and I also like to do like a little life update I think the last time I was actually in this spot I was sharing quite an emotional story and here we are again and I don't think I'll get emotional but it has been emotional up until this point anyway let me just crack on with it because I'm just gonna ramble around the point for ages if I don't just get straighten for the last few months I have not been myself at all I've just kind of lost a lot of confidence and I just didn't feel like me and I can't really explain it I just feel like I would be in situations and I'd be there I wouldn't be present and I wouldn't be myself I'd be overanalyzing every situation and the reason why I'm telling you on here is just because there's certain things I've not posted on Instagram or not shown on here just because I was like I don't want to be fake like my entire life is online and I share with you guys my journey and stuff and that is my own personal choice and I'm so glad that I do because I personally think through sharing my life so much online it's made me a more open person instead of holding things in I speak about them online and then people will say that they can relate or something like that and it makes you want to talk about it more because it makes me feel more kind of human and like I'm not alone almost which I know sounds really deep like I said for the last few months I've not really been putting myself at all this is so cringe but I just kind of feel like my Sparkle had gone no I'm sparkly anyway but just usually I feel like I'm quite bouncy and stuff like that maybe my bounce had got I feel like my bounce had gone I've kind of been low since February so I don't know if you've seen my friend Paradise to panic video if you haven't go and watch that now basically at the beginning of the year and my best friend had a terrible terrible traumatic time and I speak about it in more detail in the last video but her life was really endangered like she had a really really really really severe operation whilst of not overseas in the Maldives and I was with her and we were supposed to be on this amazing five-week trip and it happened a week and a half in the journey it was horrible and I literally lived through the whole thing with her and then getting back I found it really hard when I came home because obviously for the ten days before that her boyfriend figure out who was amazing and he did most of the work like I can't take credit for what happened after he flew out like he was absolutely incredible but I've kind of been with her the whole time and kind of watched the experience and when I came back I kind of hit a wall and I think I've been running on on the fact that I had to look after her so long I kind of just fell flat when I came home I always had this sense of guilt when I came back as well because I was feeling really low myself and crying all the time and things like that and she was the one that actually suffered like she actually had to go through the operation and the trauma and it was like her body that was shutting down you know so I I felt almost as if I didn't have a right to be upset if I make sense I'm probably gonna get emotional but basically for the whole of February and some of March I cried every single day and I had no motivation I didn't really want to leave the house I was owning myself away from friend like I just didn't want to go out because I don't know I just didn't want to keep putting on a brave face and there was days when I literally was Trev was amazing through the whole thing he literally called me up and I just saw into his arms for absolutely no reason every single day that month I cried like there was not a day that went past where there wasn't a moment of like deep deep deep deep sadness and I was really struggling because I was just like why am I feeling like this and obviously I haven't pinpoint at the moment of where it stemmed from but I just thought I was in this downward spiral and I was kind of in denial about it I was kind of just I'm found and finding the not crying there but I'm fine I'm fine but I wasn't fine so then one of the girls that comes to my Stacy events which is an event series that I host and suggested a course that I should go on and I booked in months months ago now it must have been about three months before I went to the course it was for a mental health first aid course but it doesn't make me an expert or anything but it allows me to see certain mental health issues the warning signs and things like that and I could then recognize the symptoms and hopefully guide them down the right path now this course was and I was with some amazing amazing individuals all from different walks of life I never in a million years but of course paths width and there was a guy on the course who is so high up in the mental health profession he was doing the courses he's writing a paper on it and how it's gonna help others and things like that there was loads of people from workplaces they wanted to get it made compulsory in their workplace because then they could help other colleagues and things like that some of the topics that came up some of the issues that came up I was like oh wow and obviously I could I was very open with them and when we were speaking about eating disorders I spoke very openly about my eating disorder and things that you should look out for and things that maybe made me feel worse when I was suffering and things like that so I feel like I could share all of my personal experiences anyway the reason why I'm telling you this is because this was literally coming out it was at the beginning of March so it's when I just was kind of coming out of that crying everyday kind of face we had to share a story with a partner about a time where we'd be inside and stuff and this was obviously fresh in my mind so I shared this experience anyway I spoke to one of the professionals that were doing the course for research and he basically said that symptoms that I was speaking about sounded similar to PTSD and they're totally normal and things like that and I was like okay cool it was almost like a relief because I was like why am I feeling like this why am I feeling like this and then when he kind of laid out in front of me then after that I came home I said to my mom about it and she was like oh yeah definitely and I was that okay spoke to trav about it and he was just amazing so he would make sure that I got up in the morning he made me a coffee we'd go to the gym together just to kind of give me that motivation to kind of just take my life back into control to think about my life is it I'm not complaining like I absolutely adore my life and I love what I do and I love my friends everything but it's an emotional roller coaster constantly like everything is so fast-paced to the point my sometimes I just need to scream after that had happened I'd obviously hit the massive dip went to the course was on the way up and then I went straight to Africa for four days with my best friend I've grown up since we were like three and a half we've known each other for years well I got whole lives we went away for four days and it was amazing and we had such a wonderful time we had animals roaming around our resort we saw giraffes zebras everything it was just incredible then I came back and had a day before I had to work in Thailand so had a day to like rearrange my staff unpack repack and then I was off again and then I was on another high and I was on the trip it was amazing and we did cliff jumping and we did rock climbing and we did flying trapeze and all of these amazing adrenaline filled activities and then I came home from that and I just crashed again and I felt like I crashed more than I had done before I started to become really paranoid I was over analyzing every aspect of my life so I came back and I was like oh my god I've put on weight but I hadn't I'd be driving in my car and there'd be a car behind me but oh my god they're following me no they weren't it's just a straight road it was childish things I'd be lying waiting to sleep and I'm like oh my god I just heard a noise coming out of my wardrobe there must be someone in there and it was like I was creating the worst case scenario in my head and starting to believe it and it was emotionally draining like there was constantly something in my mind that was just telling me something terrible was gonna happen it was really paranoid and anxious all the time so I cut out coffee cuz it always make my heart race and it always made me a little bit shaky and there was like a kind of shift in my mood but not a major major shift so that okay it's not the coffee just last weekend I didn't even realize but I think because every day is go go go go go and in my job because it's freelance every day is different so I don't have routine so I don't have control of my life really every day is different and I forget things and I punish myself for it and I've been trying to get more and more organized and I feel like I've got to a level where I felt really organized just before we went away in January and then when I came back I've just thrown all of the kind of tools and tricks I was using out the window because I've just felt bit lost yeah last weekend I just met up with my friend for lunch and we'd had an amazing afternoon something happened funding offers I saw something on social media and it just like changed my whole mood I mean travel back me up on this my mood is very recognizable like I can switch so quickly and can't really hide my emotions so I'll be really happy and then something will upset me and I'll just go how about the straightest face over so we were on our way home and I just found I was gonna cry quite fridge is why am i crying so we go back to his and he was like you okay and you know what son asks you if you're okay and you're not okay you're like you know fine and then floods of tears fall out of your eyes but that kind of happened I just went into an emotional place where I just was bawling my eyes out where I just got into the bed and I just never wanted to leave and I was just curled up in a ball sobbing and I was like this is not right like I actually need to take control of my life now it's been I've been for three months so I need to kind of get my shit together pretty much so do only cried a lot then the next day it was Travis rugby match so I was fine from that and then the day after we were just chin in but again my mood felt really really low and I just like this isn't right so on my way home I messaged a friend and I was just like I'm not feeling right I'm really anxious all the time I'm really paranoid of the time it was a paranoia that was getting to me like I've always had like a really colorful imagination but it always been like a positive sense and I kind of lived in a bubble in this area fairy world so thinking all of these horrible things my head I was like what the hell is wrong with me so I said to my friend I said look I'm feeling really low and I don't know what to do and I don't know who else to turn to and this is the kind of first time I'd vocalized this to anyone outside of my family and she was basically just like oh my god have you heard of counsellors directory and I think in the back of my mind I knew I wanted to go to see a counselor or a therapist or something just to kind of speak about it see if what I was thinking was normal and if there was a solution where do I start I think it got to the point where I was just so tired of being exhausted emotionally that I was just like I need to sort this out so this is now a week ago and I spoke to her and she was like gone counsellors directory and I was like what's that she said it's basically like a sauce for counsellors so I went on the website and I was really nervous and I was like by myself I was like no I just need to do this for me I think of what I post on social media is in a way to help other people and if I can't even help myself like how can I help other people that watch me or follow me or whatever I went on the website and you fill out your name your postcode and that kind of thing and then it says choose an option of the treatment you'd like and kind of what you're feeling and there's a few different options and I was a bit lost because I was putting a few of them so that okay what I do is open a few tabs and choose different emotions that are all very similar but the different ones and then search the ones if any counsellors on the forum come across between the three or four that I was feeling so I did that and the top icon for each one that I typed him is this one woman who lives 20 minutes from my house everyone had a little picture and house was really smiley and warm and I just got a good feel for her so I said you know what I'm just gonna eat on her she's an absolute stranger I'm just gonna kind of pull my heart out into this email and see if she responds and I told her exactly how I was feeling and I can't really explain it now I have no confidence and I just didn't want to do anything so I just kind of vocalize all of this in an email she applied with him like half an hour and I was like oh my god amazing offered me an appointment the next day which I saw was like look I'll take it and I can't even explain the relief because obviously I've been living alone with these thoughts and I've never really spoken to anyone in depth about what I was thinking or feeling just because I didn't want to worry anyone I felt like I'd taken off a really heavy rucksack and I was just like oh I think it was because I know I'd reached out for help and I got an appointment booked in I had no idea if it was gonna help or not I just felt like I was taking control of my life again and kind of making the positive steps towards getting better the morning came of when I was gonna see her and I was getting a little bit nervous I turned up it's just like for a one-off consultation drakes her house I told my mom and boyfriend that I was going and then knocked on her door and she was really smiling woman and she was like come on in and she had this really warm and cozy room that she took me into and I just knew I was gonna cry before I even walked in I was like at some point in this 50-minute session I'm gonna cry and it was just inevitable because I'm a crier we sat down and she was just like look there's there's two ways we can do this you can either tell me why you're here or I can ask you some questions and I was like he asked me some questions because I didn't know how to start I don't think I really knew why I was there I know I was feeling down and low and vulnerable but I didn't know like the root of it she asked me some questions she asked me about my home life my family life I've had a boyfriend my job and they said that and she was like okay so that looks really positive and when she was sick when I was saying it she was writing it down and I was like wow I do have such a good life but I'm really really not happy and I wouldn't change that so that I can appreciate everything that was good in my life and she was okay so that is pretty solid like why are you here so then I kind of told her this story of what happened in January and things like that and basically told her my whole life history in this 50 minutes and obviously in one session you're never gonna get a cure or an answer and that's kind of why I wanted to make this video because one I want to encourage people that are feeling so solo to the point where you can't actually function you can't do your job you can't be a good friend you can't be a good partner you can't be a good child to your parents whatever like I was being rude to my parents I wasn't being nice to Trev like I was being bratty and and I was being selfish cuz I knew I felt bad I just didn't wanna do anything so I'm snapping at everyone I need to fix myself not only for me but for the people around me like they're all I have I don't want to push them away so that's kind of why I wanted to come in here would be like if you are struggling to the point where you you feel that you do want to reach out for help go on counselors directory I wanted something instant so I was like I'm gonna do this and I'm gonna invest in myself the feeling of reaching out to someone was unbelievable and so I went to the session and like I said it was just a one-off me pouring my heart out and I knew I can explain it is me booking this session was like me going to Sainsbury's me turning up to this session was like me buying something from Sainsbury's me like speaking about myself was like me coming home with her Merce and opening the lid like I've opened her most but I've not yet kind of dunked in pizza or a carrot does that make sense by that I just mean I've opened up to this woman and she kind of gave me a few answers as I was telling her my story she was just telling me like common themes that were happening throughout my life and why that might have led to how I'm feeling now and things like that and I'd only kind of just scratched the surface of what was wrong and then we've agreed that I'm gonna come back for another session because I felt really comfortable speaking to her just she had a really warm for any face I feel really safe with her you can't really feel safe with someone else to meet them once but I just did I don't know if it's I just needed someone or if just because she is really warm and gentle and stuff we just spoke about little things I can do to kind of make me feel better she was saying how I used to write lists all the time of things to do and so she said to go back to doing lists and things like that she said I need to kind of set boundaries in my life so I'm a people pleaser I always have been and I probably always will be and I never want to let anyone down and make anyone upset or make anyone think that I'm not a good friend because that's not the only take pride in like I put people first you know and she said I just need to create some boundaries where I do occasionally say no to people and put my other things first I want you to go through your calendar to go through and just be like okay what what things aren't compulsory can you potentially say no to like your friends will understand right now you really need time for yourself and I was like you're so right that's what I've done yesterday and today I can't sew things I just worked from home and I've been just somewhere I feel safe and I've just written myself a checklist and I've just gone through and every day done something productive so I write a checklist of maybe 10 things and I pray ties them one two or three one being the most important and three being they're kind of least important I could do tomorrow at the end of the day when I can see all the ticks I feel really productive so I've done that now for the last two days and I'm already feeling like I'm gaining control back into my life and like setting the boundaries and things like that I'm not gonna lie I'm still quite in securing myself in my abilities and things like that like I'm questioning everything I'm doing I'm just because I think are you so dramatic like it's not a date but I just don't feel like myself at all but I came on here to basically tell you that I'm taking control of my life and I've asked for help from a professional who is gonna help me going through all of this for example our next session she said we're gonna analyze my insecurities and we're gonna talk about behavioral changes and and things that we can do to to make me feel better about myself and hopefully build my confidence I feel like it's coming back slowly but I do feel like I have lost a big chunk of confidence I'm not coming here to be like oh my god I'm amazed though even though that's how it's coming out I just wanted to I don't know hopefully motivate or inspire someone that is watching this is struggling to be like you know what I'm gonna tell a friend or I'm gonna just write down how I'm feeling or I'm gonna actually I'm not feeling right in myself and I haven't been for a while what can I do to change that because I think we're constantly investing so much time to work into relationships into TV series that were not investing enough into ourselves in time well being in Tartu mental health and I just think it's it should it should be a priority and I think I've kind of put it on the back burner for too long it's probably a bit premature me doing this video now but I wanted to speak about things whilst they're fresh in my mind and whilst I'm kind of going through the process I don't want anyone so watch this video and be like oh my god I'm gonna ask for help I'm gonna see a therapist turn up for one session and be like they're gonna kill me in a session realistically I don't think that will happen if it's the first time you've opened up to someone about your issues that maybe you will feel a lot better because it's like a relief and a release but if there is something that you need to work on they're not gonna be able to do that in 50 minutes they're not gonna be able to learn your whole life and to give you answers in an hour session it's all a stepping stone building a pathway like in your life but you know I mean like everything you're laying down the bricks as you walk and you're creating the path and you're filling that with positivity and don't be afraid to ask for help like I was so in denial and nervous about it but now the fact that I know that I'm seeing this woman in a week or so to speak about just myself other than one I've loved I don't really speak about myself if someone asks me a question okay yeah but like I love asking other people questions and stuff like that having that time set aside for you to just focus on you it's so important even if you just do it at home and you're just Journal for half an hour and just focus on yourself for that time rather than everything else I hope this video was informative I kind of just used it to vent really and speak about how I'm feeling it feels weird speaking to a camera about such personal things but I do hope that helps someone I'm gonna cry again why am i such an emotional wreck um yeah I also would say if anyone is watching this and can relate to any of what I've said or is feeling vulnerable scared or nervous everything that is on this forum I'll link it below I believe it's all confidential and stuff so even if it's just you sending an email yes you have to meet the person but getting it out there and putting it out there to someone could be the first step in making you feel better I hope you can learn or take something from this video I just feel like I share my whole life the good the bad and the ugly so I might as well if I'm gonna show it be super deep and honest about it anyway I'm just surrounding that because it's been a long time but thank you so much for watching I hope to see you again soon comment below if you would like to if you have anything to say or you can DM me on Instagram about healthy chef stuff where it's like a little bit more private I'm not qualified in mental health or anything like that but I don't know sometimes it's nice to just have someone to talk to you know I will see you guys soon

50 comments

  1. you are SUCH an inspiration. not many people feel they can speak up but you've just added that bit of hope that they can! im in a similar position and i honestly cried with you throughout it!! it' breaks my heart to see you like this but im so glad youre getting the help you need! and trust me you havent lost your 'sparkle' its still there i promise, maybe you just need a bit of time to see it the same way we all see it in you!xxx

  2. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. I can relate so much to this and I think reaching out can be scary but sometimes guidance is needed. I wish you the best on your journey, I love you x

  3. I can relate to this so much. It's helpful to hear that someone else has felt the same way as I have the last couple of months. Thank you for being so honest in the video. Stay strong.

  4. It breaks my heart that you've been feeling like this,, hope you feel better soon… But also know that it's okay to feel like this sometimes, we're all here for you. Love you ❤️❤️

  5. Thanks so much for increasing the awareness of mental health and subscribe to my YouTube channel for tips and interventions x

  6. I am so glad you shared this Steph, it is so important for people with a platform like you to speak about mental health and normalise it! There is still such a stigma around it. Its great you felt comfortable to share this when it is still such an open wound for you. I hope you will feel you are about to share your journey through councilling with us, what you learn and how it benefits you. You've made the first step to getting back to your old self, there is light at the end of the tunnel 💓 lots of love

  7. I’m so sorry you’re going through this:( you are so strong for seeking help though and I know you will feel like yourself again❤️ wishing you all the best!!

  8. Wow Steph, I have been going trough a very difficult time myself the past few months. Feeling very low and depressed.
    You are one of the people that motivated me so much in my darkest moments.
    Cant really find the words to say what I want to say I think I just want to say thank you.
    And its great your sharing this video as well!
    Good luck with everything and im sure you will get there! X

  9. I’m a mental health first aid trainer and I’m so glad to hear the course helped you. I’m really advocating getting it as a compulsory mandate for all businesses as it’s SO important. Thank you for sharing your experience. X

  10. Mental health struggles are NOT dramatic. You can be a dramatic expressive woman but that doesn’t mean your struggles are dramatic. They are valid and so important to be concentrated on. Love you ❤️ hope you feel better soon x

  11. Cried so much watching this video, I can’t relate to anything you or Zana have been though, but I have felt this low before and the feeling when you come though the other side is amazing literally like taking a rucksack off as you said.
    The fact that you are realising that you come first and that this feeling doesn’t go away over night but it’s a working progress makes you in control of the whole situation. And honestly I don’t know you at all but I follow your insta and YouTube, it seems like you are a very genuine and lovely girl with amazing family friends and boyfriend and they are so lucky to have you in their lives! When I went though a time like this I just realised that by making everything transparent by talking to people when I don’t feel right and being who I really am unapologetically is the best medicine and you have definitely done that by reaching out to the counselling, your friends and your followers! 😊

  12. Honestly its probably related to diet, I was recently vegan for a year and experienced that loss of my “sparkle “ or “vitality”. I also felt extremely not present in situations I previously would be, and that feeling of hitting a wall and low tolerance for stress as well as high paranoia. I had bouts of a lot of crying and didnt know why. I ended up being low on iron, had too high of b vitamins (if you’re taking them contrary to popular belief you most likely have nothing to worry about and don’t need to take more) which caused pain and high anxiety, and slightly lower vitamin d. My thyroid also went out of line to under active, so make sure you have seaweed every day and try to implement someway of getting more iron even if you’re currently eating a lot because i was too. Also watch your blood sugar levels as I got a finger pricking kit to test it and realized my carb high meals as a vegan were causing crashes in energy and too high of sugar. I have been trying an iron fish which leaches safe amounts of iron into water you boil it in. Stress 100% can be hugely emotional, but diet plays a huge role. I always had anxiety and depression too so it was hard to separate and realize something physical rather than emotional was actually happening. Thanks for sharing Steph and hope you feel better soon.

  13. So glad you’ve shared this and be so open. Really needed this today, you are amazing ❤️ Another option for CBT and changing your thoughts that has really helped me is an online NHS counselling website called ‘Silver cloud’ 😁

  14. Hard times come, I hope you get through it well! Sometimes caring for someone can be draining to your spirit, but do some inner reflecting, and do something that brings you true joy. Anyone who needs any help, or are struggling with things, I am a upcoming life coach to youtube, if you reach out I will respond as soon as I can.

  15. Steph honestly this is so so important to hear to me. I have been in almost an identical situation over the last five months: crying every day, not going to uni, not going to work, pushing away my friends etc. etc. And honestly during these times I did watch your social media and had absolutely NO idea you were going through this too. In fact, I compared myself to you and how full of life you appeared and almost beat myself up because I wished that I was as energetic and as happy as you appeared. Thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou for speaking out about how you have been feeling, after spending the last five months feeling like I was completely alone in my anxiety and obsessive thoughts this has lifted a huge weight off of my shoulders. Sorry this is a bit long I don't even know if you will read this lol but this video made me cry because I empathise so strongly with it all

  16. I’ve followed you for a while now, but I absolutely love your YouTube content as I feel as though we can get to know you so much better. You truly seem like the loveliest soul! Glad you’re taking the right steps to start feeling like yourself again, sending all the love❤️

  17. I really like the premise of this video, thank you for sharing and I hope you get better soon ❤️❤️

  18. I feel like a legit stalker because I'm always blowing up your comments hahaha but I just had to say I love and appreciate your vulnerability and honesty girl. I've gone through counseling before and it really does make such a difference, so good on your for taking that step toward your mental awareness. It'll be a process for the rest of your life.. I still end up going to my counselor every couple of months just to cleanse my mind and soul and get back on track. Hang in there, you've got this! Thanks for sharing, ilysm! 💓

  19. Honestly thank you so so much for your honesty. I often view you instagram, and would never have guessed you were feeling as you have been. Your symptoms feel so similar to mine, its like I can't necessarily pin point exactly what it is, but I have lost all interest in what I usually enjoy, I'm incredibly snappy, and seriously disorganised as I haven't got the mental energy to sort things out. It means friendships have been effected as I don't respond, and just live in a little bubble.
    Watching your venerability and honesty has helped me not feel alone, and to reach out and get help. Thank you again!

  20. Thank you for this video Steph! Completely relate to every word you were saying! I've just had a over the phone assessment today for NHS counselling but the wait time is 8 weeks! my mental health has not been good for ages so looking forward to trying to work on it 💗 we will get there! Xxx

  21. Thank you for sharing this vlog Steph. It resonated in many ways. Sending love + best wishes 😙 xx

  22. Steph, thank you so much for sharing this. I’ve been feeling a very similar way for nearly a year now, and I didn’t feel that I needed a helping hand. Listening to you has inspired me to take an active step in booking an appointment… I can imagine this video will change so many lives ❤️ You’re amazing girl! 🤗😘

  23. I’ve been feeling so similar to this right now and seeing this has made me feel a lot better because I know I’m not alone. Thankyou so much❤️

  24. Loved this! I’m really struggling myself at the moment and find it hard to open up to people who could actually help me… I feel like now it’s okay not to be okay and that if I’m completely honest about how I’m feeling, it might actually help! You inspire me every day ❤️

  25. Currently at dance college and in my last year and I’m feeling like this… haven’t even got to addressing it yet but thank you for making me realise I need to

  26. It's so important for people like yourself to be honest about their issues- Instagram has us fooled into believing influencers have the perfect life. Thank you for sharing your advice with us, you're doing amazing xxx

  27. Steph you will never even know how much this has helped me. I've felt so low and so out of control these past few months and I've been so afraid to speak to anyone. I've tried to deal with it alone but it's just getting worse. I'm acting out and doing things that I wouldnt usually do, paranoid about how I'm making people feel and just hurting the people closest to me. I decided this morning that I will take control of my life and then I saw your video so now I know where to start. Thankyou for being an inspirstion❤

  28. I relate so much and it is much harder to get through it when my man is on mission for the army 😔

  29. This really will help people, if not for guidance at least for less loneliness. I needed this today, thank you Steph.❤️ I’ve been struggling for years with anxiety and depression and I recovered an eating disorder about two years ago. I recovered from all of this and felt amazing but these last few months i’ve sort of fell in a hole or just been in a slump. hoping to get back up soon, thank you again. this really helps and you’re an amazing person for sharing and helping people all around the world. keep fighting

  30. Thank you so much I have watched so many of these videos from mental health as I thought for myself when you was talking it was like use inside my mind explaining all my feelings no one has ever explained it like this thank you so much You have help me and so many more I think 👌❤️

  31. Thank you for being so open about this. You've made the first step towards healing and that is HIUGE! Sending you positive vibes and lots of love.

  32. Hi Steph, thx for the video. I'm sorry to hear you have been feeling low for the last few months. Life goes through phases and hopefully it will lift soon, but sometimes we need external help or to make small changes / step back a bit. Thanks for the counsellor's directory tip – we all need help from time to time & I hadn't heard of that before so thank you, Take care xxx

  33. Girl so proud of you for speaking up about this. You deserve all the best and I am so glad you are taking steps towards feeling like your self <3

  34. Steph please try CBD oil it works wonders for anxiety. Hope you feel better soon girl we’re all rooting for you xx😘

  35. Thank you so much for sharing this, Steph. You basically described exactly how I’ve been feeling for the past few months and I think it’s so important to realise that you’re not alone – especially when we spend the majority of our time comparing our lives to what we see people present on social media. What’s helped me is prioritising my own time, writing a daily gratitude journal and taking back control by taking small steps every day in an attempt to feel better – sometimes it’s easier to wallow but being proactive works wonders. I hope you find your bounce again soon ❤️

  36. Something I do to make me present in the moment and happy is to practice gratefulness even with my boyfriend and friends, when I’m with them I think to myself I’m so so grateful for them being in my life, I’m so lucky. With routine comes normality and this can make us forget to take a moment to appreciate what we have, and want to spread and feel love

  37. Hi steph love your videos. I really resonate with this, I've been so sad recently I lost my dog and I'm so sad. We all go through ruts trust me but I'm so glad you can share how you feel. I need advice, I really struggle with worrying about the environment. Constantly worried about driving. I'm vegan and try to recycle use reusable cups etc as much as possible but I can't seem to stop worrying. Any tips?

  38. Oh Steph how grateful we all are that you feel comfortable enough to be so open and honest! This will definitely help and guide others, so glad you’re feeling a little better and have hope in seeing the lovely therapist, I’m sure it won’t be long before you feel like yourself again! 🤞🏼 Sending all the loving vibes your way, take it easy and don’t be hard on yourself, you beautiful soul xx

  39. It's really honourable that you've been so open and honest about something so personal. This is just one part of your life and you'll definitely get through. I'm happy that you've taken that step to see someone, self care is so important. Take care xxx

  40. Everyone has a black dog ‘anxiety/depression/struggles’ the black dog will grow and become a beast unless you learn to tame it, everyone will have one at a point, the more you learn and mind it better and easier it will be to keep it a little black dog not a beast that takes over you 💕💕 google the black dog video about emotions 💕💕 I hope you get the help you need 😊 your so sweet and kind 🙌🏻🙌🏻

  41. Shows that depression can hit anyone no matter how great your life my appear.. you're very brave for sharing this Steph !

  42. needed this, really feel like I resonate with you so much as a person! hope you're feeling more yourself soon xxx

  43. This inspired so much! I remember when I first watched one of your videos and I instantly fell in love with your channel and you! Your amazing. Wonderful. Strong. And above all perfection❤️ keep doing what you do hunny bc your spectacular ❤️🥰

  44. You are so amazing, and I can't say this enough, you are A M A Z I N G, you inspire me so so much, and this really hit home with me… I've can relate to so much of what you are saying, and it's nice to know that you are not alone in it ❤️ thank you for that, and thank you for you!

  45. I never leave comments on YouTube videos but you’re so down to earth and your videos are so genuine and real that I feel like I know you and it’s so sad to hear what you’ve been feeling, don’t feel like you should feel guilty because on paper your life is amazing and you’re still feeling like this, once mental health has kicked in it’s hard for ANYONE but I wish you the best journey to feeling like yourself again, you seem such a strong and inspiring person, you got this, stay sassy x

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