The Terrifying Tale of Trumpcare: The Daily Show



every day it feels like members of the Trump administration embarrassed themselves on camera Senate Republicans on the other hand are smart they try only to embarrass themselves behind closed doors a trick that the Democrats have noticed there's new controversy over the Republicans push to overhaul health care the GOP lawmakers crafting it in secret Democrats staged an overnight protest on Capitol Hill the dramatic talk is on on the Senate floor threatening to delay all business unless Republicans open up their health care talks to the public the Republicans are writing their health care bill under the cover of darkness because they're ashamed of it it is an insult to the history and their traditions of this body so I say to the Republican leadership what are you afraid of bring that bill out [Applause] Burnie I miss his passion he's so passionate about everything bring that bill out he's only says that in restaurants all the time bring that bill out stop being a coward and bring out that bill that's what happened yesterday Democratic senators took over the floor to denounce the Republicans health care bill instead of what they usually do at night which is dreaming that a super-ripped Barack Obama has brought them some tax returns totally different evening for them but the Democrats are right to be upset right this is legislation that will affect tens of millions of lives and Republican lawmakers are writing it in total secrets there have been no hearings no debates nobody knows almost anything about it and this is about national health care and yet the Republicans are treating it the same way a high schooler treats jacking off in his room like America's banging away on the dog they may hey what are you doing in there are you doing like nothing nothing nothing are you doing what I think you're doing no I'm not ashamed at all don't come in don't come in Mary Jane are you doing in there now now because Republicans are the majority in Congress Democrats have very few cards to play the only thing that they can really do is take a page out of the rotten Republicans book all right and you look at eight years ago when they had to drum up opposition to Obamacare the Republicans got really creative with the truth the Democrat plan for health care reform amounts to a government takeover of health care in this country it's going to give free health and insurance to illegal aliens it's going to end up rationing health care over 30% of American physicians would leave the profession uses our tax money love people to kill themselves tell you how you're going to die they will die in line put to death by their government one in five people have to die because they went to socialized medicine government the conference for the plug on grandma that's right that's not the government's business we should be able to pull the plug on grandma when we're finally ready to let her go or when we really need to charge our phone whichever one comes first grandma I know you're on 3% but I'm on one oh she's gone but uh you see all that I love that you applauded for that like yeah yes selfie but you see all that a death panel suicide scary made-up that's what changes people's minds it's why Republicans did it all right that's what Democrats needed they needed to bring that to us last night and I'll give them this they tried but it just wasn't the same if your house needs repairs you don't set the house on fire something that a villain in a novel by Charles Dickens would say this has been called the vampire bill the Republican vampire Bill why because the writers of it the secret 13 writers they're afraid for the bill to see the light of day and it's called the vampire bill because it's general intent is to suck the life out of the health care system for struggling families no Senate I I know you're trying to scare the people but it's not working first of all vampires don't have that reputation anymore now they're Sparky and cool you know people do want to run from them they want to them and secondly you got to work on your delivery your style would suck at the campfire and then it turns out the call is actually originating not now remember there's as landlines the call is not coming from outside the house it's actually because the back you see he happens it's not scary enough now don't get me wrong the Democrats have done a pretty good job of presenting the factual arguments against Trump care and the numbers back us up only 17% of Americans support Trump care 17% that is a horrible even Vegas would be like those are bad numbers and that is a as numbered packets the numbers are so bad then why did the Democrats seem to be having such a hard time bringing a stock to this thick well I'll argue they if they're going to nail the coffin on this thing Democrats just have to add more emotion to the Trump care numbers that's how you scare off Republicans you scare them off this thing for good and what makes a great scary story is all the things you don't know right Republicans have made it easy the Bulls already a secrets all you needed the numbers a flashlight some alternative facts you've got a horror story on your hands here yeah I'll show you I'll show you Chuck give me give me like a scary background some some effects can be changed ah there we go yeah yeah this is how you should have been on the floor have you heard the tale of drum care clap it is a secret ancient House on Capitol Hill they said it would throw 23 million people of health care and premiums would rise by like seven hundred percent or something like a really big number the secret Republican bill would also make it mandatory for everyone to wear a catheter oh but I don't have a urine problem too bad open your pee pee hole and scariest of all I'm the drum care every American would have to share one pharmacist Bill Cosby now ah this might just be a tall tale but until the Republicans release it we'll never know never know hey everyone before you click over to 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21 comments

  1. All those sheeple maaaing about stuff they don’t understand. Why are they on news/ tv? The govt likes sheeple. Why do we have shows like The Daily Show? Cuz there’s plenty of us goats unafraid to jump above it.

  2. "Now don't get me wrong, the democrats have done a pretty good job of presenting the factual arguments against TrumpCare…"
    And you have done a pretty good job of mocking and undermining them in that, Trev. Telling them to resort to the same shady, deceptive, grandstanding bullshit we'd expect from the GOP. So, do you like this disastrous new bill, or just the taste of all those Viacom dicks?^^

  3. The really sad thing here is I can see millennials doing a dead grandma selfie and not feeling a damn thing. This country is so scary and selfish.

  4. That's weird people will die because doctors will leave why will doctors leave if they are there to help people it should be wonderful that there be socialized medicine right? Everyone would get help!

  5. I always have to laugh – and shake my head at the same time – when I see how americans treat health care. I've heard some politician say, that implementing a fair healthcare for everyone would turn the american dream into the european nightmare… …. … sorry, had to finish laughing first… and the best part about this is, that the people in the USA believe that bullshit? Like seriously? "Hey, health care for everybody is the end of civilisation as we know!" Yeah, sometimes I think it'd better be, because maybe then your civilisation can get back on track and stop fucking the poorest!

  6. Shit! Trevor got real with that Grandma bit! That was hilarious and fucking frighteningly sad, man!

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