Hey everybody! Happy Thursday! Now, today’s video is actually something that I have been excited to talk about and it’s a question I received a couple of weeks ago; I keep your questions in this huge document: don’t think that they’re going unanswered, or lost! They’re in this document that I hold. And this question says “Hey Kati, could you do a video on therapy from the therapist’s perspective? Kinda like an inside view on the process. Like what do you think or feel when having a session? Do therapists ever have moments when they don’t know what or say? Or someone brings up something they didn’t expect? How do you handle that? What if a session takes an unexpected turn? Uhhh! Do you ever have problems identifying with the client, or do you identify too much? Lots of random questions, but I thought the idea of an “inside look” of therapy would be interesting and informative. Thanks for everything you do, and just for being you!’ Awwe! I think this is really cool, and something which I hadn’t thought about sharing; but I’m sure just like everyone, you have your own experiences at a therapy session as a client; therapists are all going to be different. So, I’m just answering this from my perspective, what I know, and my experience. And I’m going to try and go through her questions one by one: So, the first, part… she said “Do therapists ever have moments when they don’t know what to say?” Or someone brings up something they were not expecting?” And definitely; There are definite times where I will have… there’s a problem that has been presented. and, even though I may know; because a lot of the time we therapists know what the quote-on-quote answer is They just need to do this – to fix the problem because I’m trying to get you there. And me telling you, that doesn’t help you! You have to figure it out. And, so there are times when I kinda come to a roadblock, where they’re not…. like getting what I want them to get; I don’t know how else to say it, and I”ll be at a loss for words. And I’ll just be honest; I’m kinda one of those types of therapists where I will just say: “Honestly, I really don’t know what to say right now” We’ve tried, y’know… and just talk about the process and usually, by doing that, we come unstuck: Either the client is like “Oh I see something” or they recognise something Or I like; “oh here’s another way we could go about it…” And so, cos there’s never one way to get there; it’s not like, you know, Google Maps or something this is how you get from A to B it’s more like ways, for those of you who know the Ways app; like, we can go all these different directions to get to the same end point. The second part of the question: says Erm, “what if a session takes an unexpected turn; do you have have…” oh, that’s another one! If it takes an unexpected turn that, honestly, I never go into sessions having a pre-planned idea of what we’re going to talk about. I have a nugget of where I’d like to go, because I can’t go into a session unprepared. That would be bad. But I also don’t go in thinking “this is what we have to accomplish” because I would be upset all of the time. And so, always sessions are often taking unexpected turns of clients, the last ten minutes of the session, we call them erm, we used to call them, what was it? errr, door… confessions, or something, as they’re about to leave they confess like a big deal. And I’ll have that happen all the time where somebody’s like “oh, by the way…” Errm “I was sexually abused for like ten years” or, “oh by the way, you know, I purge all the food I eat, bye!” and so I’ll get like these kinds of drop-offs at the end and that just gives me something to work with: erm, for the next session. So often I will just say that, I’ll say “thank you so much for sharing, I feel glad you feel safe doing that lets table that for next week” and we just move on because there’s not enough time and if we open that up, it’s going to take a long time for them to feel safe to leave. Erm “Do you ever have problems identifying with the client, or identifying too much?” Definitely, we’re human too, right? It’s all about the relationship; and that’s why I talk so much on my channel about finding the right fit I know, not of us all have all sorts of opportunities and referrals and stuff like that, and… hopefully that will get better and that’s like one of my global goals to change how mental health operates worldwide, but in the meantime, try to find someone who you can at least connect with because as therapists, I’ve referred clients out when I don’t feel we’re really connecting or they’ll just not want to make appointments, and I just won’t y’know I’ll be like “yeah, wonderful to see you and meet you, here are some other people you might like” and that’s kinda part of the process, that’s completely normal. Erm, identifying too much, definitely, that can also be bad too and it’s a struggle for therapists at lot of the time with counter-transfers so like if they’ve gone through Lets say I was in recovery from alcoholism. I’m not, but lets say I was; and somebody comes into my office.. I don’t deal with that because it’s too close to home and then I find out they’re doing that, I might have to refer them out because it would be too hard for me to keep my own shit out of the room. Which is kind of important when you’re trying to help someone else. And…. erm, I think that was it, yeah so I hope that was kind of interesting and informative I know that there’s a lot of, you know, behind the smoke and mirrors of a therapist but, we’re people too and a lot of thing that you wonder about or worry about like we’re human. So, yeah, we’re not going to know what to say, we’re… gonna fumble our words sometimes we’re going to like people and not like others, we have the human condition just like you. So, I hope you like this! Leave all your questions in the comments, make sure you give us a thumbs up, and don’t forget to subscribe if you’ve not subscribed. I put out two videos a week and you don’t wanna miss ’em! And I’ll see you next time.