Trump’s Old Physician Is Back And Wacky As Ever

OVER THE LAST WEEK, WE’VE TALKED
A LOT ABOUT TRUMP’S FORMER NOMINEE TO HEAD THE V.A., DR.
RONNY JACKSON. AFTER ALLEGATIONS THAT
DR. JOHNSON OR JACKSON– IS IT JOHNSON OR JACKSON? JACKSON? HE’S LAEG SOON. IT DOESN’T MATTER HOW I
PRONOUNCE HIS NAME. DR. JACKSON– IT’S SHORT FOR
JOHNSON– WAS PASSING OUT BILLS AT THE WHITE HOUSE, HE WITHDREW
FROM THE NOMINATION, AND HE WON’T RETURN TO HIS OLD JOB AS
TRUMP’S PHYSICIAN. HE WANTS TO SPEND MORE TIME WITH
HIS FAMILY, LYING ABOUT HOW MUCH THEY WEIGH. BUT THERE’S AN OBVIOUS CANDIDATE
READY TO STEP IN. TRUMP’S LONG-TIME PERSONAL
PHYSICIAN– HELLO! AND STOLEN STEREO EQUIPMENT
DEALER, HAROLD BORNSTEIN. BORNSTEIN– BORNSTEIN! BECAME FAMOUS AFTER HE WROTE A
ONE-PAGE LETTER VOUCHING FOR TRUMP’S FITNESS THAT STATED, “IF
ELECTED, MR. TRUMP, I CAN STATE UNEQUIVOCALLY, WILL BE THE
HEALTHIEST INDIVIDUAL EVER ELECTED TO THE PRESIDENCY.” I DON’T THINK DONALD TRUMP IS
EVEN THE HEALTHIEST INDIVIDUAL NAMED DONALD TRUMP! ( LAUGHTER )
AFTER THAT, BORNSTEIN TOLD “THE NEW YORK TIMES” THAT TRUMP TAKES
PROPECIA, A DRUG OFTEN PRESCRIBED TO STIMULATE HAIR
GROWTH IN MEN. NOW, TAKING HAIR-GROWTH DRUGS IS
NOT SOMETHING TRUMP SHOULD BE EMBARRASSED ABOUT. HE SHOULD BE ANGRY THAT THEY DO
NOT WORK. ( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE ) NOW, WE ALL–
WE ALL HAD FUN WITH THE STORY, AND WE ASSUMED THAT TRUMP DID,
TOO, UNTIL TODAY, WHEN BORNSTEIN ANNOUNCED THAT TWO DAYS AFTER HE
TALKED ABOUT THE PROPECIA, TRUMP’S BODYGUARD AND LAWYER
RAIDED HIS OFFICE AND TOOK THE PRESIDENT’S MEDICAL FILES. WAIT– THEY MUSCLED THEIR WAY
INTO TRUMP’S DOCTOR’S OFFICE TO STEAL EVIDENCE THAT DONALD TRUMP
IS GOING BALD? THEY KNOW WE CAN SEE, RIGHT? ( LAUGHTER )
ARE THEY ALSO GOING TO TAKE AWAY WIND? ( LAUGHTER )
BORNSTEIN– BORNSTEIN SAID THE GOONS TOOK EVERYTHING, INCLUDING
THE ORIGINAL AND ONLY COPY OF TRUMP’S CHARTS, INCLUDING LAB
REPORTS UNDER TRUMP’S NAME, AS WELL AS UNDER THE PSEUDONYMS HIS
OFFICE USED FOR TRUMP. YES THEY GOT THE FILES UNDER ALL
PSEUDONYMS: JOHN BARRON. DAVID DENNISON. HORNY DANIELS. AND BORNSTEIN TOLD REPORTERS HE
DIDN’T UNDERSTAND WHY TRUMP DID IT. >> THEY MUST HAVE BEEN HERE FOR
25 OR 30 MINUTES. IT CREATED A LOT OF CHAOS. I COULDN’T BELIEVE ANYBODY WAS
MAKING A BIG DEAL ABOUT A DRUG THAT’S TO GROW– TO GROW HIS
HAIR, WHICH SEEMED TO BE SO IMPORTANT. AND IT CERTAINLY IS NOT A BREACH
OF MEDICAL TRUST TO TELL SOMEBODY THEY TAKE PROPECIA TO
GROW THEIR HAIR. WHAT’S THE MATTER WITH THAT? >> Stephen: “YEAH, WHAT’S THE
BIG DEAL ABOUT REVEALING SOMEBODY’S PERSONAL MEDICAL
DATA? YOU WOULD THINK HE’D BE MUCH
MORE CHILL, WHAT WITH ALL THE XANAX HE’S BEEN POPPING.” BUT PERHAPS THE SADDEST DETAIL
OF THIS STORY IS WHEN TRUMP’S THUGS SAW THIS PHOTO OF
BORNSTEIN AND TRUMP IN THE WAITING ROOM, AND THEY ASKED HIM
TO TAKE IT OFF THE WALL. DAMN– WHEN TRUMP BREAKS UP WITH
A FRIEND, HE GOES FULL MIDDLE SCHOOL GIRL! “I’M TAKING BACK THAT PICTURE OF
US AT SIX FLAGS. I DON’T WANT BRITNEY SEEING IT
AND THINKING I’M A LOSER LIKE YOU, OKAY. WE CALL YOU PIZZA FACE.” AT HER PRESS CONFERENCE TODAY,
SARAH HUCK-A-SANDERS INSISTED THIS WASN’T A BIG DEAL. BUT “BORNSTEIN SAID HE WAS NOT
GIVEN A FORM AUTHORIZING THE RELEASE OF THE RECORDS AND
SIGNED BY THE PRESIDENT, WHICH IS A VIOLATION OF PATIENT
PRIVACY LAW.” TELLING ANOTHER REPORTER:
“SWEETHEART, THIS IS WATERGATE. GOODBYE!”
WATERGATE? FORGET PROPECIA. WHEN HE SAYS, THAT I FEEL LIKE BORNSTEIN JUST PRESCRIBED ME
VIAGRA.

100 comments

  1. When this is all over, I hope we’re in good enough shape to laugh at this as a Lin Manuel Miranda musical.

  2. Dr.! Somebody recently recommended any one with contact to Trump and make copies, back them up! But thanks for the heads up anyway.

  3. Colbert should secretly finance a movement to repeal the 22nd Amendment as he needs Trump as President in order for him to stay on the air.

  4. What the hell kind of physician turns over patient medical files to thugs without calling the police?

  5. All Trump had to do is fill out a form to get his records without sending thugs in to steal them. Trump is the lab rat that got picked every time

  6. Trump sent his lawyer to raid his doctor's office and take all the files. Then his lawyer got raided. 😂😂 He should have sent his lawyer's files to the doctor's office instead.

  7. Many presidents of the past few decades would jog nearly every day. Do you see Trump jog? NOPE! Healthiest my ass!

  8. Lie Lie after lie after falsehoods after misrepresentation after fake letters after false claims… PROPECIA!!!!!

  9. Pardon my odd scientific research comments. Dolly has been cloned and grows up and dies quickly.
    If Mr. Trump is an actual cloned human being, classified as above super top secret, his simplistic language, tweeting, manners, and psychological way he understands and reacts to the world, can be equated to a young person in an older body. The youngster is dealing with a lot. Clones age and grow old in 3 to 7 years. That is from birth to death can be 10 years and a full 75 year life span. For further proof, please inform yourself of animal cloning research. While human cloning has not been publicly acknowledged, it is the wisest course of thought, to consider viewing Mr. Trump from this perspective and it may just make sense. Mr. Trump, you are indeed a very brave man and accomplished much.

  10. He takes fin phen and Adderall and has high blood pressure bad cholesterol. Let's just wait till the fast food junkie drops dead.

  11. That hair growth drug has the side effect of impotence. I bet Melania and Ivanka are glad he takes that stuff.

  12. "The Feds are abducting my lawyer and taking his files about me, so unfair to me, to the president, because he knows stuff about me that they want to hear in court so they abduct him, the Feds are thugs on an illegal witch-hunt!!!"
    "My doc said I take stuff for my hair. Send my flying monkeys to raid his office. If he happens to, ah, 'fall out of a window' in the process, well, too bad for that loser!"
    Surely, the interwebz will soon be flooded with cultists screaming about Trump's double standard here…. surely it'll start in a few seconds. Or in a few seconds and three millennia…

  13. Trump and the Russians… His name should never be written alone. It should always be written 'Trump and the Russians'…

  14. Propecia is also used to treat enlarged prostates…(google it)
    Maybe they were trying to hide the fact that trump is impotent..

  15. Who gives a shit. These guys always digging in the dumpster for jokes. “Na na na na take that big bad Trump blah” Same corny shit I heard in elementary

  16. So Trump is afraid the old Doc is going to release info on the other drugs Trump is popping? A chem-head for a president? Many those uppers and downers are what's got him so wacked.

  17. My guess is that they stole his records of a certain blue pill.
    Think about it, it's not that hard…

  18. Trump too old? Thats just, like, your opinion man … now for some white russian … ^^ seriously, that dude doctor …

  19. Trump is doing all kinds of crazy shit to get fired before Mueller gets the good stuff. But the American people won't do it. I guess he's gonna have to shoot someone in the street.

  20. if all of you idiots got your news somewhere other than an anti-American leftist shill on late night, you'd know that the good doctor told a reporter that he did prescribe a hair growth treatment for Trump. He broke doctor patient confidentiality in public, to a reporter. Trump's people came and grabbed his records the next day.

  21. Lefties is a disease.. the quack doctor broke and agreement and released confidential info about a patient.. so he is no longer the doctor and trump requested to get records , personal records he refused.
    so yes a team of lawyers with a warrant took the records that was not the doctors..
    so now he is mad
    lefties love drama so pretend it is not a crime to release confidential personal info to reporters about hair treament or whatever.
    this proof once again the biases lefties have and rages within ..

    for example
    what is teh difference of your porn star hero and prostitute?
    none.
    both work by being laid for money
    but you pretend one is an actress to feel good inside.

  22. Why wouldn't his Dr have Trumps health records on secured computer? Don't all of our Dr's do this? The bodyguard and lawyer hacked his computer and only stole/took Trumps data?

  23. Drumpf was worried if he didn’t get there first, muller would find out something, and I doubt it was about propicia.

  24. Funny thing is ….
    The picture of Harold Bornstein looks like a typical lefty if I ever saw one.

  25. Wow I didn't even think about that HIPAA laws are extremely strict about releasing patient data without consent, they could be imprisoned

  26. Just another law Trump broke and will probably get away with it. The reason the trump WH and other gov. Positions are not filled no one wants to work with him he’s a serial reputation murderer. No one wants to work for him, around him, certainly not under him. That typically takes a lot of money and booze and money and drugs and money and booze. Then years and years of treatment and therapy and antipsychotics drugs and someone to be with you to make sure you don’t commit suicide.

  27. Dr. Bornstein should just told trump that they're PIRIN tablets….instead of Propecia…. 😉

  28. The bigger thing is that Bornstein practically admitted that Trump just dictated him that health report

  29. Dr mcquackinstein knows NOTHING about my magnificent #MAGA body… the fake newe’s fake doctor #JOBS…

    (Posted at 3:00am White House bathroom)

  30. In all seriousness though, it’t the doctor violating HIPAA? Or do a patient’s medications not fall under HIPAA protections?

  31. I think Bornstein has been overindulging on his own brownies. Whoa dude…got any more? 😵😵😵

  32. Every morning President Trump wakes up with 30, 40, 50, of the nation's best reporters out to destroy him.While President Barrack Hussien Obama got a free pass during his 8 years as President. Was Obama that sweet and innocent? Or was he protected by the far left biased media? Things that make you say hmm? I'm just saying. President Obama was very fortunate he didn't get the same treatment that the fake biased media is giving to President Trump.

  33. Trump hiding his medical records. Muscling his way into his doctor’s office… No cause for alarm here?!

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