So this is a video about me starting Gender Therapy. Yup. Hey Everybody! Today Is my first ever day of Gender Therapy and I have no idea what to expect. I’m really nervous to be honest, I thought I was just excited I remember this doctor is very like, Highly recommended and there is like a huge wait in Minnesota for **sniff** um, Good gender therapy, like I called The Center of Sexual Health, and I was really disheartened, they were kind of funny. They were being Weird on the phone, there was also a five-month waiting list, and then I found this therapist, And he was available, well he wasn’t available, he had a full schedule But, um, He said he seemed really interested in me and there was gonna be some Cancellations so he might be able to work me in with the cancellations, and I might be needing a letter For something in the future. *weird expressive noise* So, I really wanted to, you know, like take advantage of this opportunity, so I replied and was, like yes, yes, yes, That’d be amazing and then he called me back, and he’s like okay, let’s set It up, and then we scheduled a time and I like freaked out, I think I literally screamed, Grace like couldn’t stop smiling cause’ she thought I was so cute. It was cute, and then I couldn’t stop smiling! Because Grace thought that I was cute, and she was cute, and we were both so cute. Anyway, Um, yeah, so I’ve just only been excited until today, because I’ve been to therapy before, so I kind of think I know what to expect, Then today rolled around, like the time has come, And like, I’m really nervous! I know it’s gonna be good, but I don’t know why I’m nervous! I really didn’t even think I would get nervous I thought I’d only be excited. Well his name Is Dr. Scott, my appointment is at One O’clock, And, I’ll take you with me! And, hopefully it goes well. I really don’t know how gender therapy is different than regular therapy where we talk about gender. We’ll figure it out! Hey everybody! So I just got my hair cut, and now I’m on my way to my appointment. I won’t lie to you I consciously chose a very masculine outfit. Like this is like a stupid train of thought, but so my Therapist does not doubt, like, my not cisness. Because you know Internalized ish where our clothes Equal our gender, haha! I Just don’t want him to, that’s like the last thing I want to do, is convince my gender therapist of my gender, that sounds horrible, so i was like, I’ll just wear something really masculine, uhh, But I think I look cute, so hopefully you do too. I’m excited. Would you like to hear how I found my therapist? I found him because Grace and I moved and I got a new primary care provider, a new regular doctor, Who worked closer to where I lived, and when I scheduled my appointment with my primary care physician, I was on the phone and I was like, “I would like a new primary care physician somewhere in, where I live.” Ummm, It’s mostly about medication management, but It would be cool if they knew something about LGBT or trans things, cause I might ask for referrals, and then the scheduling lady got all excited, she’s like “Oh I have the perfect person for you!” I feel like it’s kind of bright I’m gonna, *lens switching* Is that better? I feel like that might be better. So I showed up and we did all our regular things, and, I was trying to Figure out where to work in, you know, all my gendery questions, because that’s like a scary thing, to do, so at the very end of the appointment she was like, “Okay, well do you have any other questions?” And then I just did it. I just like *gulping noise* took a Big Ol’ Gulp of Bravery, and said like oh yeah actually, so um, I’m actually Genderqueer and I’m kind of, I ju– , I have a, uhh I’m contemplating having like medically possibly transitioning and I was kind of Just, wanting to talk through it with a gender therapist, do you have referrals? If you don’t it’s okay, if you don’t have Any ideas it’s fine, it’s kind of like a niche question I totally understand and like its fine, *intelligible Ash sounds* And she was like, “Oh my gosh that-that is fantastic Actually my daughter, her pronouns are she her, So, her daughter’s not a trans guy. I tweeted this out on twitter and everybody was like, “Daughter don’t you mean son?” No daughter. She was like, “My daughter actually just got keyhole top surgery!” And I was like wha– *Ash/dinosaur hybrid noises*, I have honestly never met a human being who’s not a trans guy, Who’s afab in real life beyond the internet, I’ve never met a person like that, who-who has had top surgery. I absolutely know they exist, I am subscribed to all of them on YouTube *laughter* I’ll link all their channels below. I watch all Non-Binary top surgery *more laughter* videos, and Non-Binary transition videos. I Am, that’s my, that’s my thing. I know everybody! But I’d never ever met a person in, you know, Real life, irl, so the fact that I’ve still never met this person, but the fact that my doctor’s daughter Was this person was like, one degree of separation and it was just like, Happenstance, kind of, I mean, I’m sure that’s why the scheduling lady gave me that doctor, but still, my mind Was blown, I was like, “Hooooly balls, holy butts!” And the doctor actually started to tear up, because she was telling me about her daughter’s transition and she was like “It was so sweet. What I really liked about it is my daughter kept me, like, involved through the whole process!” And she,-she was like, “You’re gonna make me cry!” And she started to tear up a little bit, and I was like *more Ash/dinosaur hybrid noises* It was like the most fucking affirming thing of like the year for me, it was so neat. It was so neat! And my doctor was even talking about how Inspired by her daughter she’s like Ummm, Becoming Like an endocrinologist or getting into hormone treatment, and I was like, that’s so fucking cool! What a fucking awesome Mom! What a good Mom! Anyway, and then my doctor, my primary care physician, my regular doctor was like, “I can-I can let you, I can refer you to the gender therapist that my daughter uses. His name is Scott, he’s really great.” And that’s where we are right now. We are on our way to Therapy I’ll let you know how it goes! *music* I know, that you’ve got doubt *music* And you’ve got fear, *music* You don’t let out *music* I know *music* You’re not as strong as you would lie to be *music* Don’t lie to me *music* You got it all figured out *music* You had me all to yourself *music* You got the world in your hands *music* You’ve got to make some new plans *music* You want your own piece of mind *music* Don’t ask for pieces of mine *music* I… *music* I won’t be staying here… I’m trying to vlog in the moment when it’s fresh, so here we go. It was so good, I really liked It Scott is I think it’ll be a good match. I only cried three times Which for me is Average. I was actually worried believe it or not I’ve only had a Woman therapist before, so having a guy Therapist and I did confirm that he’s a cis guy, I Even asked. I thought that maybe I would be more guarded or wouldn’t be able to like Cry in front of him because I typically get really emotional in therapy, even when I’m not talking about emotional things I just Get easily embarrassed, and then cry, but I cried Three times which sounds bad and It was, it was Emotional, it was embarrassing, but you know, in all the best ways, and It showed me that I Can cry in front of dudes. I don’t know why I just was, it was a new experience, and I was a little worried, but yeah He’s cool, he has long boards up on His, on the wall of his office, and he has a nose ring, he just, he says he’s worked with like a hundred trans people before, so that was cool. Yeah, it was good. It was… Good. Yeah. So I’ve Been going to therapy for four weeks now and I really dig it. The only drawback Is it’s Expensive. First I have to hit my deductible, then a little insurance Kicks in, but even then it’s not cheap. So if you are similar to me in the way that you are not Made of money But you still want to talk to a professional about some of your feels, then I want to tell you about Better Help. Better Help Is a program that has assisted over 600,000 People Pretty cool! and what it does is provide easy discreet online counseling from licensed Therapists. First you sign up and complete a questionnaire about yourself. What I thought was really rad about the questionnaire is it asked for your gender and It Included Non-binary as an option. *unintelligible noises* So cool! Then, you are matched with a therapist within 24 hours, Which is dope, because like you heard me in the beginning of this video, I was really afraid I’d have to wait eight months to Find the right therapist, so no scary wait period! And once you’ve matched with your counselor you guys can Communicate right on your device in whatever way feels comfortable. Live type chat, email, phone calls, video chat etc. And, you can do all this, you can start for as low as $35 a week, which is pretty manageable compared to Irl therapy. So yeah, if any of this sounds interesting to you, be sure to click the link in the description. And comment question of the day, if you If you had to describe your gender in Four words, and you have to use all four words, so you can’t just be like guy, girl, you have to use four words so you could say masculine, you could say Neutral you could say whatever, if you had, if you were required to describe your gender in four words No more and no less, What four words would you choose? This is like, I’m Kind of interested in this one! All right, well goodbye!