What Does CLINICAL DEPRESSION Feel Like? (Major Depression)



it's really hard to explain what severe suicidality feels like what severe depression feels like but I'm gonna take a crack at it I want you to imagine that you have lost the ability to feel anything pleasurable anything food will lose its taste a warm bed will lose its comfort conversation will lose its meaning you won't feel connection to other people imagine being a severe severe fog coupled with what I just said that can only be lets say correlated to something like for someone who's ever been there imagine being like in such a fog that reminds you being horribly horribly hungover like you just drank half gallon last night you just woke up imagine that type of fog and discomfort well most people don't know about people that are severely depressed or severely anxious is physically you can feel very sick it's pretty strange I never I never understood it until it happened to me but you can feel in pain so I want you to imagine the hangover I want you to imagine the inability to experience anything in terms of feelings I want you imagine flu-like symptoms not necessarily that you're throwing up or that you have you know Koff and all the traditional symptoms fever but you feel achy and uncomfortable completely uncomfortable all the time on top of that you can't sleep and if you do fall asleep you can't stay asleep and so you're miserable you're absolutely miserable all those things together put them on top of each other you might think to yourself well I mean that sounds bad but I could hang in there and get through it granted most people can experience a very great level of pain for a certain short amount of time imagine yourself the last time you had the flu for example horrible horrible flu I'm sure that a few days in you were feeling pretty miserable you may have been thinking things like when is when is this ever gonna stop well I can't take it but you know what's gonna end and that is a luxury of those things like the flu it's a luxury of a horrible hangover you know it's gonna be over you just have to hang in there well I want you to imagine that all the things I just said they're all compounded and now it's been 2 or 3 weeks how do you think you'd feel Oh 2 or 3 weeks not that long come on a lifetime's a lifetime for sure now I want you to imagine that it's been 2 or 3 months of that same feeling unrelenting unrelenting and you might think oh that's there is no such thing as a depression that bad oh there is I promise I went through it so now you have persistent and chronic brain fog you can't feel anything you don't want to eat you can't sleep and your body hurts like you have the flu 24/7 and it's been a few months tell me what you'd be thinking see what you end up thinking the situation is I don't know how much longer I can handle this I need the pain to stop it hurts to be awake people guys it hurts to breathe everything is uncomfortable you feel like you're burning inside not to mention you're in a haze do you mean you don't like it's like you're looking through life through glass glass window like just nothing seems clear and focus and you feel alone because nobody understands that you're aware of obviously a lot of people do understand this one you know I would later come to find out and if you can't imagine all of those things compounded into each other and I pity your lack of empathy and/or imagination but when someone severely depressed all of those things can be that way and he can last for months and months and months and even years think about the last time like I said that you were severely hungover or you had the flu think about how much you bitched and whined and complained and also and then on another topic think about how bad people felt for you especially if you're sick aside from making yourself sick like drinking think about how much sympathy and compassion people showed you last time you had the flu a horrible bout with the flu oh I'm so sorry you feel sick you poor thing but we don't seem to give the same credit to someone suffering severe depression because not everybody has and that's the problem what's going on guys so the video you just saw there was actually an excerpt from a video I did a long time ago and the video was titled suicide is for the selfish and weak and it was just discussing how people respond to depressed people and to how suicidal they can become and to the topic of suicidality in general and in this video I really just wanted to try and capture what major depression feels like what severe depression clinical depression give it whatever specific title you want I wanted to talk about what it feels like and I thought about recording it just right now present day but I thought back on that video the one you just watched with that portion in that video I like the simple nature of the way I described severe depression what it felt like for me but one thing I didn't mention in that video that was a big part of what major depression feels like was that sense of suicidality was the constant thinking about ending your own life once things got bad enough long enough and in one of those painful aspects of severe depression for me was I was just picturing myself dying all the time I was constantly imagining myself tossing myself in front of a bus for example or or if I'd see a wire imagine myself hanging from it's scary stuff scary scary stuff it haunts me to this day so what I want you guys to do is in the comments below I would really genuinely appreciate it if you wrote what clinical depression what major depression feels like for you and I want people to click on this video and the fee teacher and get so many perspectives in a variety of feelings and outlooks and opinions and find something they can connect to that's most important thing to me for this particular video I want someone who's suffering to be able to read through the comments and/or hear what I had to say in the video and relate and not feel alone and so you can be a part of that just by sharing your experience in the comments below it would sure mean a lot to me I know when I was really sick I would always search for what other people thought instead so I could find community so I could find something that didn't make me feel like I was all by myself let's educate people and let them know what this dark condition really can be and what it means and and of course not that I'm not caught up with this a lot in the video there is hope and if you're struggling right now severe depression don't give up five minutes before the miracle you can get through it one day one hour one minute at a time check out healing from depression calm my name is no I post videos all the time feel free to check out the channel maybe there's something you would like and we'll see you guys in the next video you

22 comments

  1. Depression is this feeling like you are utterly disconnected from the world. You just feel numb and overwhelmingly sad and it feels like the sadness will never end. It feels like you have permanently been shackled to a life of misery and that you will never be happy again. Life is devoid of joy or meaning and you just feel like you are not even alive, like your soul has been sucked out of your body. You feel defective, abnormal and alien, and it is terrifying. You have all this pain inside of you that won't let up or leave you alone. You feel like… you are dying. No amount of comfort or reassurance can shake this utterly empty feeling you have inside.

  2. Not feeling allone for 1 minute and I am happy, not seeing everything dark and I am happy, being able to feel one emotion a day and I am happy, waking up and not wishing I wasn’t here and I am happy, seeing other people happy and not casing them harm and I am happy…

    But when someone in my class starts so complaining about a grade or a their parents and I will look at them with pure hate in my eyes…

    So people have been there in the samr position as meh and are still hanging there, come get up you can do it. You didn’t made it this far to fail and give up. I know you wanna give up, I want to do it to. But i promise it will get better♥️

  3. Im going through all that right now bin about a year. I tryed suicide and got caught. Went to mental hospital. They released me cause i started to feel less suicidal. Im opposite on the sleeping part thats all i want to do and lay around all day. Can't think clearly lost interest in pretty much everything. Im off work, i also suffer with health anxiety im always googling symptoms this sucks, i just want it to go away. Im going to group and see another doctor next week. I was praying and praying for god to take this all away, but i lost my faith do to no help from him..

  4. Yep judging by the comments we are feel like this so what's the cure? Other than addictions or lying to yourself.

    And no suicide is not or should not be a option

  5. I have some okay days but there’s still that looming darkness waiting for me to come back home.
    When I’m with people and i know I should be happy and i should be enjoying whatever it is i used to so I join in with the temporary smiles around me. There are the times when i give in and don’t have the energy to hold the mask over my face and my tone of voice and try to push people away so that they don’t see.
    I feel worthless and useless and like a pathetic thread hanging out of a hoodie, however if you cut it of it may result in further damage so i just have to stay here being a bother to those around me. Its not like i want to die as such but more like i want this to stop. When i think about it i feel like I deserve to hurt this way and I deserve to suffer worse
    Thanks if you read this and sorry if you felt anything shitty from reading this

  6. Noah, you really describe it very, very well. For me, waking up was the worst part of my day, because couldn't imagine how I was going to function. That physical pain you mentioned was right on, along with incredible fatigue and weakness. I felt like I must have cancer, that depression couldn't make me feel that sick, let alone incredibly sad, hopeless, helpless, and not having the internal resources to make myself feel better. It made me feel crazy, doubt my senses, doubt my mind and hate myself for not being able to get better, surely if I just tried hard enough I'd get better, right? But I just couldn't, yet couldn't understand why, I used to believe if you just had a positive enough attitude you could overcome anything. Then I experienced this and just couldn't! I had to work to make the bills and support my 2 young girls, but I was constantly in panic, knowing I was going to show I was not ok, afraid they'd see I couldn't do my job, and fire me! I felt like such an impostor! The anxiety and panic I had was almost constant every day. Before bedtime I'd have it because I couldn't sleep or couldn't sleep well. I'd lay there in the night and think I must be going crazy! So, I'd be afraid of bedtime and afraid of morning. There was no safe place, no safe time, I didn't feel in my body, I felt like I wasn't myself and didn't even remember what it felt like to feel as myself. I was undergoing Psychiatric treatment, but it took several grueling tries to find the right antidepressant and then add a mood stabilizer to it. I didn't feel like killingmyself, but I couldn't imagine living through this nightmare without some kind of escape, some way to be unconscious, but I couldn't sleep well enough or deep enough to get some respite or peace of even a few hours. I have major depressive disorder, and for that particular incident, probably 40 years ago, I was hospitalized. The other occurrences of major depression I've had were painful, but not that intense or prolonged. I think 1 key is I don't wait for much time to pass before I get to my shrink once I'm experiencing a trend of depression that doesn't pass after a week or so. I get Rx adjustments as often as I need them, which is maybe an average of 2-3 times/year or less. I NEVER skip a day on my meds. In the past – every time I started feeling better for a while I'd quit taking my Rx, then I'd relapse! Not worth it!!! If an insulin-dependant diabetic felt better, so stopped taking their insulin – they'd circle the drain pretty fast; same with someone with a thyroid disorder – I look at my antidepressant and mood stabilizer meds exactly the same way. If taking those regularly help me to do life better and not slide into that abyss again, I'm ok with that. Love ya, Noah, God bless you, keep up the good work, I'm sure a lot of suffering folks are informed and encouraged by what you've survived and what you've learned from it. I honor you for reaching out to try to help others!

  7. This sounds far worse then hell…..good from you to be that honest. Why don,t people dare to speak up and talking to each other. All you hear and see is small talk to friends……

  8. I was diagnosed with clinical depression and I disagree with the choices made by the doctor, after watching this video, now i know how terrible depression really is, now I'm super duper mega confused on how the doctor saw me as depressed, because compared to what the video discussed, i don't feel even close to depression, I'm just angry in general, but that's not even all the time, and i have interests and stuff and trying to accomplish them. I'm into fitness and weight lifting and natural bodybuilding. I started lifting 5 weeks ago, I'm a beginner.

  9. I feel nauseated and exhausted all day. I feel numb or on autopilot…my life is like watching a movie. I have multiple rare illnesses that all cause sever problems. All the medicine I take also cause serious pain and issues. 🙂 I'm not alone anymore, I've got a wonderful family and life long friends.
    Much love out there,
    Mike

  10. I thought for months that I was crazy and it was all in my head and that nobody felt this way…I seem to have these depressive episodes at least once a month for a while 2 1/2 weeks. I’m currently taking medication to help those hard days. Stay strong everyone, and share love ❤️

Leave a Reply

(*) Required, Your email will not be published