What Social Anxiety REALLY is | Carl Vernon

have you ever stopped to think about what social anxiety really is now you and I both know the obvious thing and that is feeling nervous in public or around people things like public speaking well that's obvious that's always consistently on number one fear and that is going to induce anxiety there's a lot of pressure in there but what about everyday stuff what about just speaking to people going to work going to school being at home what about that why do we sometimes go red why do we sometimes play conversations back in our minds that we've had and cripple ourselves with that and get ourselves trapped in those sort of loops why is it that we allow that feeling to sometimes overwhelm us so much that we avoid social situations like the plague what is that all about I never used to question it I just got on with it I spent so many years avoiding things like weddings parties many social gatherings or any invitation I'd avoid them all like the plague because I just told myself well misses part of who I am it's part of the condition it's part of being socially anxious and I just got on with it and the more I got on with it the more socially isolated I became but it's not part of who I am and it's not part of who you are either we can pass social anxiety down to any number of things any number of worries or anxiety or conditions but really social anxiety comes down to one thing and this one thing encapsulate sit all it creates it makes it grow it gets us to a point where we've become isolated or this thing when dealt with and looked at can stop it it can free us from our social anxiety and this one thing is the fact that we care too much I was in denial about this very thing who wants to believe that they are beholden to anybody's views or opinions or what the Joneses are thinking but do you know somebody who says things like I'm not bothered care what people think they can think what they want of me I'll wear what I like these are the people that actually care the most we have this in built need for approval from others it's instinctive everybody's got it nobody is immune to it and that's why everybody at some point in their lives will go through some form of social anxiety nobody's immune to it if you have any doubt about any of this check out social media have a look at our society in how we live day to day flashy cars flashy clothes jewelry cosmetic surgery these are all forms are carrying too much we're chasing a perfection to impress other people why because we care too much so this is a solution not to care kind of yeah but it's about balance and the balance comes in or should you go to the supermarket naked headphones blaring chewing gum with an attitude that says I just don't care and now of course you shouldn't there's a balance in this isn't there we have to get realistic about it and we also have to get realistic about the fact that by saying that what I need to not care as much that's easier said than done isn't it you know let's get realistic about this let's actually get to what we can do the thing you can do about social anxiety something really simple something so small but this is the thing that can reduce your social anxiety instantly and the more you do it the more your confidence will grow the more control you'll get back and it's simply to ask the question why such a small simple but powerful little question the reason why it's so powerful is because it gets you questioning what you would normally do without thinking about it things like you buying that flashy watch and getting yourself into debt for it why are you doing that are you doing it to impress other people or are you doing it because you really want it if you want that watch or that car all those clothes jewelry or procedure whatever it is it's a reward for you because you've worked hard and you feel that you deserve it and you'd feel good about yourself then that is very different to being led by wanting it to impress other people if that's leading your decision then that's going to lead on to more social anxiety that's the type of habit and pattern of behavior that you have to break if you want to stop the sufferer and if you want to end and free yourself from social anxiety

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