What Your Doctor Wants To Tell You, But Can’t (From A Medical Physician)

Hi, I’m Bob. I’m someone’s doctor and because statistically most of you watching this are as dumb as my patients I’m going to guess you do a lot of the same stuff. So as a favor to all your doctors I’d like to point out a few things Way way too many of you are putting things in your butt that are not made to be inside butts in medical shorthand We call these cases insertions Once upon a time a man had the brilliant idea of soldering a surprisingly large dildo to a metal bar I assumed this was so he could grab on to it and you know plum around while it was inserted hmm. It was a noble attempt. I guess but for some reason the handle didn’t work He got the dildo stuck inside himself and all his ingenuity and craftsmanship couldn’t get it back out again He couldn’t sit down to drive didn’t want to call an ambulance and pay $1,000 like some sort of impaled Rockefeller So he put on the baggies pair of pants he owns and took a walk of shame all the way to the hospital Once he was here. Well we have tools for this sort of situation terrible unspeakable tools I think he actually found that part exciting though, so that story has at least half a happy ending? If you’re watching this you’re probably not a doctor there aren’t all that many of us And we understand that the rest of you have important things to deal with To help you out the good people who make medicine include instructions on all their products but if you don’t read those instructions Well things can go wrong one particular case comes to mind a couple had been in earlier that day to get help for the wife’s Constipation their doctor gave her a box with two enemas for those of you Who are lucky enough to not know an enema is a little bottle of fluid with an uncomfortably long spout This poor hopefully illiterate woman took one look at the spout and knew exactly what it was for drinking But that’s not why she came into the ER No she only saw us because she hadn’t been able to force herself to drink the second bottle and she wanted to make sure that just Taking one was okay. I asked if these come in a box and are there any instructions with pictures on the side of the box So uh is it a problem she drank the enima? I called poison control and because I’m a good human being I didn’t tell them the call took 20 minutes because the poison control office couldn’t stop laughing On the upside the enema still worked the woman just suffered horrible Lovecraftian abdominal cramps And that wasn’t even a bad call at least the lady had a legitimate issue, please call poison control even if your problem is hilarious For every hour a doctor’s been actually seeing patients We’ve got to spend around two hours charting documenting everything we did for insurance companies and the government it’s roughly as rewarding as making passionate love to a pile of sawdust and When we actually do get to see patients a lot o f them are this guy Did you know Americans consume roughly 80% of the global opium supply? I’m not exaggerating for comedic effect we are taking all the drugs and most of us don’t need them so a big part of my job is saying no the people with back pain Now it can be hard to tell when someone’s lying about pain Ahh my back, and back pain is a real nightmare, please Doc Just drugs, but I’ve heard way too many Forty-Year-old men say I’m allergic to Motrin and Tylenol I can only take Percocet once I turned a patient down for painkillers on the ground that not a damn thing was wrong with her She started yelling to the whole ER that she and her kids were going to wind up sleeping on the streets because I wouldn’t hand her a prescription, It turns out. She’d been selling her pills. She needed them for rent money you can’t get angry as a doctor You’ve got to stay professional move on to the next patient and if you aren’t careful that can kind of break you See the most important thing. You should know about your doctor is that he might be living a life of unspeakable despair So there’s a particularly horrible brain tumor called a pontine glioma it grows in the brainstem The part of your brain that knows how to keep your body alive And it tends to strike children initially the child has minor symptoms double vision trouble swallowing Maybe some weakness then the tumor mercilessly and inexorably kills them and there’s not a goddamn thing I or anyone else can do about it and after dealing with that I have to go to my adult spine clinic and immediately deal with the guy with a nearly invisible disc herniation who’s demanding narcotics and a disability statement?Please let me get some pills doc just one pill or two and then I go home and chart for several hours until I get to sleep. hey can I have some pills please I just have all these You grow some of that morphine It would actually be great if the main side effect of all this frustration and stress was whimsical cartoon violence Unfortunately, it’s lots of suicide male physicians are three times as likely to kill themselves as the general population Female physicians are four to five times as likely to commit suicide Every year the U.S. loses the equivalent of one full medical school graduating class to suicide all this as we’re looking at a projected shortfall of 90,000 doctors by 2025 Only 3.9 percent of Medical school students are depressed But one year after they start their internship and actually work as a doctor That number jumps to Twenty five point seven percent And you can all do a little bit to help with this crisis Take better care of your butt’s read the directions on your medicine and don’t go to the doctor when you want to get high Hey everybody thanks for watching that video if you want to subscribe to our channel took the big C in the middle and to get Notifications hit the notification bell icon and they’ll send notifications about that now, let’s wrap and joint!

100 comments

  1. Sry but that can only happen in old Merica, in Europe people read the descriptions, pay attention to their own sanity and don't put thing in their arses…

  2. If you'd ever had a collapsed disc for ten years and your sciatic nerve was almost severed from bony spur growth impingement, you'd understand why God created Opium and Cannabis, but then most of you are to busy being self Righteous in your good health and Framed papers from Autocratic Luciferian governments.

  3. PENISES are not meant to go in butts BTW. Jews and Christians and other sane people have been trying to tell you this since the beginning of fucking time . Doctors especially should figure this out–you know, because of the ten years of college where you learn about body parts and their proper functions.

  4. I'm a med student& still a long way to go becoming a proper full fledged doctor and honestly just a single breakdown away from insanity.
    Most doctors have it rough. Sad but true…

  5. This was actually really sad. I mean think of all the things doctors really can't help with you know they have to feel bad because they're basically holding your life in their hands and they know this. That can't be good for the psyche as the statistics stated…

  6. Medics are depressed and suicidal because thet learned they have to lie to practice medicine, they know it's all a faced created by goverment. so the real doctors that really care killed themselves and the phycopats , narcissits ones get rich.

  7. "America's take 80% of the opiates in the world"….Yes Dr.Douchebag, and who do you think prescribes the opiates? You and your lab coat wearing drug dealing friends.

  8. The pharmaceutical industry has hooked every one they could get hold of on some form of narcotic and now the doctors are having to deal with the epidemic. I could never be in any part of the medical industry for that reason and if I were a doctor, I'd ban pharmaceutical reps (roaming drug pushers) from my office.

  9. Yea and so it is not about you. Oh boo hoo the poor Doctor is stressed. Who asked you to become one? Oh yea you needed your ego scratched.

  10. Geez, who is to blame. I have been treated for chronic pain for 30 plus years nothing has changed. Still opioids are your only answer. Who is failing who? Not an empathic bone in your body but your ego is thriving.

  11. Maybe the problem is not these issues but our government… You pretend these issues are isolated to doctors and blame them dealing with the drug addicts and morons… maybe you should live a life of a drug addict or moron first? WHo's creating these types of people? Maybe you should stop electing psychopaths and morons to lead you? Take a trip to your local public school and then you'll understand why there is so much fucked up shit… and it's only getting worse, and those leaders are too busy fucking children and raping the coffers to give a fuck about society.

  12. I've been in the medical field for years, and hearing others stories sometimes make your job seem tame some days!

  13. Alright, so I don't have a problem with drugs, and I always read the instructions, so I'm doing to things right!

  14. Of course hospital interns and registrars get depressed- they have to work horrible hours, see horrible things and put up with people harassing them to get drugs. America is totally over-medicated. If people ate healthily, walked more and got enough rest, they would be a lot healthier. Medication doesn't heal anything – it just masks symptoms.

  15. That was funny as hell, great animation. Damn now I feel real bad for these doctors and grateful to have one that has compassion in his heart to actually help me in these most craziest of times that we're ALL living in. Thanks to ALL YOU TRUE LIFE SAVERS AND BLESS YOU ALL…

  16. i have a chronic panic attack disorder but doctors in London uk wont prescribe benzo sedatives for it even as a last resort short term because of people like the rainbow haired junkie in this video giving us genuine sufferers a really bad look. speaking of looks, because of my sense of fashion, i get lumped in with those high-seeking parasites constantly. fucking prescribe them some cyanide instead, just tell them its morphine or some shit.

  17. This video is such a lie
    Most of the doctors do not give a single fuck all what they care is their paycheck
    They do not care if to get the money they have to drug you with toxins or to kill you during surgery
    Murderers in aprons

  18. When I go to the doctor with a backproblem but I didn't want pills, I wanted to know what I do myself to make it better as I hate pills as it really do make me sick and I don't want it. But my doctor dosnt even listen to what symthoms I have before he describes a pill that is a painkiller, I keep telling them that there is no point as the pain will be back after im done using them. So Ive had to recheach myself what I can do without pills.

  19. Imma tell my kids this and make sure they tell there kids and so on that way in 100 generations there will be 20 – 100million people who will never do opioids

  20. Wow!! why don't ya just give people what they want. Doctors had no problem passing out oxycontin like it was candy when they were told to by big pharma and now because they're cutting people off of pain pills those same people turn to the streets creating a heroin epidemic. And I'm supposed to feel sorry for these asshole self righteous prick doctors. Lmfao!! Eat shit and die.

  21. I love how the enema story was represented by white people even though we all know it was black folks. The thing in the butt was a mexican…the gayos can't help themselves. Brain tumors are very uncommon. Back injuries are very common but because latinos keep misusing drugs we all get to suffer instead of getting legitimate palliative care which means our bodies don't heal at all so we're forced to live with chronic pain due to political correctness BS instead of just throwing those fuckers out. I mean they're all on welfare anyway. As for the Physician shortage…lower the cost of education and you won't have that problem. In fact in the UK essential service education for jobs such as Nurse and Doctor are completely subsidized, which means they get education for FREE in return for X years of service at a lower income bracket. In America you get to assume $280K in debt. to then work for 3 or 4 years at a lower income bracket. SEE THE PROBLEM HERE…DON'T BITCH ABOUT THE ISSUE YOU CREATED FOR YOURSELF!!! Besides we all know that a sudden drop in Physicians is the goal by the people running the government as per the Georgia Guidestones and Freemasonry. Freemasons BTW…always have pills and other drugs on hand and trade them like candy. You can do that when your social club is above the law, just ask the Clintons.

  22. So, Americans are junkies? Based on how you guys act like smoking weed makes you super smart and is some sort of universal right, that doesn't actually surprise me.

  23. The front end staff GET ALL THE SHIT from narc addicts long before, and for much longer than, the doctor EVER does here in Canada. Once they threaten, badger and yell their way past the front end (me) and get actual unwelcome time with Doc (who blames staffer for caving in to demands and arranging them an appointment), they turn saccharine sweet to suck up with him. Wanna show REALITY? Show the gdmn sad sack disposable STAFF putting up with near physically violent "patients" who face them MUCH MORE than the docs. The stress got me on NON MEDICATED medical stress leave, and then replaced while on it (it's perfectly legal to lower wages, hours, change job description or "let go" a staff member in any job in Alberta Canada while they are trying to get better on independent medical diagnosed medical leave, so said Alberta Human Rights And Civil Liberties dept,)

  24. Back pain it's a bitch. I do every now and then take medication for it but I go true the pain most of the time so I don't get addicted to pain killers. But it does get me angry when I see this fuckers on the streets asking me for percocet.. I my self don't take that shit and they be asking me for it. 😒

  25. Plastic surgery👾 keeps all doctors happy. Better pay, and a real excuse for pain medications. 😁 (cough-cough)😂

  26. Soft tissue damage? Not one PET scan for hundreds of miles. I can prove my Lymes disease, heavy metal burdens, spine, nerve and tissue damage through journals, but not one freaking doctor REALLY gets that I'm in freaking pain!!! They stop listening when you say pain. But go onto the dark web, and other places on the internet, and you can get all the drugs you want legally. Huh???And the world sees me as a drug seeker? Give back the opioids Hollywood😠😠

  27. Employers have to take more care if their doctors, to make that they are not overworked and have some time of during the week

  28. That's why I'm saying fix me so I won't have to take that was kind of drugs when I can simply just make them if I feel like taking them really if I'm truly addicted I could just make them for myself it's not that hard

  29. I believe it that's me just as I am that's why I smoke weed cuz I'm tired I'm being lied to even by so-called professional doctors pisses me the f*** off

  30. WHAT A SELF-RIGHTEOUS LUMP-OF-SHIT ! if he didn't think that he was GOD maybe he'd be a decent doctor ! STOP TRYING TO RULE THE WORLD !

  31. Believe it or not I am currently talking to the DEA to get a doctor out of business, he’s a backdoor doctor I really really bad dirty doctor. What was my friend of 24 years is now a walking psychotic zombie. I could kill the doctor for doing this to her and I could kill her for ruining it for people like me who have legitimate reasons to get pain meds like severe endometriosis. After seeing her slur and wave back-and-forth and fall asleep and wake up for sleep and wake up. I can’t take it I let her go I told her I could never talk to her again. I am devastated, she was my best friend we were like twins, unfortunately she’s one of the people we all hate who ruined it for the rest of us. She’s also a diabetic and the doctor doesn’t give a shit, I’m just waiting to get the car saying she slipped into a diabetic coma or She overdosed.

  32. Another thing point is, don’t be surprised when the medicine you are consuming has side effects, I had a patient(I am an orthopedic and not a hematologist) that asked me if he can stop using chemotherapy, because of his immune systems well first of all don’t ask me about cancer as it is not my specialty and ask someone like a hematologist, and secondly it is chemo after all and it is common sense that it will fuck you up

  33. I've never seen anybody bitch as much as doctors about their jobs if u don't like it get another job. Our lives depend on some of u and here lately I doubt any doctor would give a shit to save a life they just want to bitch and draw their pay and go home and on vacations. Stop ur bitch ass whining

  34. Oh yeah thats bug facts I remember my mom telling me that she dropped being an (idk what they are called like you begin as some kind of nurse that checks on the dead corpse and if they are all intact) a year after getting her first job she quite since the money you get from check on dead people isnt worth it at all… then she became some kind if manager on a bank. Nice…
    Moral of the story dont force you kids to go to medical school just cuz being a doctor gives a lot of money.
    But hey since she worked for a military facility I as her child get free care from pubic hospitals and private military hospitals

  35. Drs helped create the "opioid epidemic". Now the pendulum ticks in the other direction where they're being monitored by the same entity that pushed the shit onto drs in the first place, allowed the advertised denial, at one point not long ago, that pain killers were addictive… And now suing and fining and taking licenses and imprisoning drs for prescribing the shit. There's nothing so different, individually, about Americans that they have a stronger desire for opiates…they were pushed onto them. Given like candy for eons. Then, ripped away and stereotyped. Pain management was a damn joke for the longest time. Drs never educated their patients they just kept giving more and more at higher and higher doses and the average patient had no clue what the hell was happening. And the drs made money off of this. -The stereotype of the drug user on this video is a perpetuation of sheep herding. 🙄 Those hooked on opiates, even heroin, are quite often your neighbor, your boss, the person in the next cubicle, your best friend and even you. Regardless, addicts are valid, worthy people with minds and spirits and they're being put down by their own society and sucked dry by supposed rehabilitation institutions that don't understand addiction as no one has substantial information on it's mechanisms and yet they're making a killing draining insurance companies that eventually cut the addict off as they continue to relapse time after time. Hello?? 80% of all the world's opiates?? There's a reason and it's not some genetic-American thing.

  36. The comment section is so toxic no wonder doctors are irritated all the time. The amount of toxic behaviour some people are showing is unhealthy I feel sick reading them as a premed.

  37. Morale of the story: working with people is the worst job in the world. You have no idea how lucky you are if all you do is paper work in an office or stocking store shelves during night time.

  38. Well some how Asians, Arabs and a growing number of Africans handle being a doctor very well here in the USA. As a matter of fact, I cannot remember the last time I spoke to a Doctor without a heavy foreign accent. While we are dwelling on the stress, most of them are role models and light of hope to an entire village in an impoverish nation. Never the less something must be done regarding the suicide rate of professionals. The only ones who continue to live long life’s are politicians and lawyers. I wonder why!?

  39. Try asking for vaccine inserts. I try and do my homework about anything I put in my family's body. They won't give them to you. And they don't go over adverse reactions either. They also tried giving my 18 year old son zanex and label him as ADHD. Fortunately he was educated and said no thank you. I have a very hard time trusting doctors. I take 0 medications and am in my mid 40s. Drink flouride free water and eat real whole foods. I feel the pain for what people go through
    I've seen what big pharma has done to people because they do trust whatever the doctor says.

  40. Fortunately I’m not stupid. I only go to the hospital when my kidney stones are traveling through my ureter. Btw, kidney stones are worse than childbirth. I genuinely would rather lose a leg

  41. "im going to tell you about all of my dumb patients, because i assume most are similar to them"

    Me – ready to listen and learn from the scholars of this great nation

    Doctor: dont shove metal pipes in your ass, fam.
    Me: >.>
    Doctor: pain management patients are pussy ass fakers
    Me: OwO
    Doctor: im actually broken inside
    Me: UwU pepehands

  42. I flipped out on a few of the people's in the ER when I had a minor workplace accident requiring the cleaning of a flesh wound.

    They had all these people coming up to me asking me what my pain level was and I told them all to go fuck themselves and that they were going to eventually face a class action lawsuits from their pain medication malpractice eventually.

    A couple hospital administration ran down and interviewed me with clipboards and interviewed me and I told them I had to wait two hours behind dozens of people who obviously we're just looking for pain and antidepressants drugs with fake seizures, ghosts haunting them, etc.

    And on a side note some twerp with an iPad wanted me to sign someone on his iPad saying that if the company wouldn't pay for treatment is pay myself.

    I was beyond pissed off at that point but I tried not to show it. I told him I have to hear over and over again at work how they can't pay me more because of workers comp, and I had to wait here for two hours for ten minutes worth of work and get offered addictive, potentially life threatening pain medications, and before that I had to drive myself o two other agent care centers before finally being given permit to go to the ER. And if he ever for one second thought I felt like I felt like I would ever agree to pay a dime for such shit service he was severely mistaken. I told him I would sue him in a heartbeat if he ever tried to charge me a dime if I could.

  43. That was one the best videos I've ever seen in my life, in every aspect, writing and narration, witty humour, information, brilliant animation, kudos to the makers of this video.

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