Why I Was Rejected From Medicine & Mistakes I Made! | Medicine Diaries | Atousa

[Applause] well it certainly has been a while since my last medicine Diaries video and boy do I have a lot to catch you up on to give you a bit of a recap if you want familiar already I started a series called myths and Diaries so I can document my journey towards hope you get me to graduate read medicine and also sharing my experiences and any kind of tips and advice I pick up along the way but as you can see by the title of this video oh let me just roll a clip from the very first episode I've gotta say I'm kind of nervous about starting the series because if I fail it's going to be on the internet for everyone to see but screw it I'm gonna make it anyway and in the spirit of sharing my advice and experience in the hopes of helping some of you guys out who want to do medicine I thought I'm gonna make this video and talk to you about all of the mistakes I made so that you guys don't make here if you're in the same process and do you know what it isn't all doom and gloom despite what has happened and the mistakes I made and the outcomes I have got gotten this is only the start of my journey I'm not giving up I'm going to try again I'm going to do better this time and learn from my mistakes and once again I will be continuing to take you along on my journey so I have kind of categorized my mistakes into like sections because oh my god I made so many so the first few ones are all about the aptitude tests that you have to take in order to apply to medical schools in the UK in my previous medicine Diaries videos I talked about how I had kind of lost steam with the UK cat which is the UK clinical aptitude test and how I had kind of given up and where I was feeling with that mentally I am absolutely not ready because the last couple of weeks of my M res were you know so stressful and I had a deadline honestly medicine wasn't really at the forefront of my priorities because you know you got to take things step at a time and I just knew that if I spent a lot of time focusing on medicine related stuffin I wouldn't do as well as I would like to on my masters so that being said let's go to mistake number one choosing your UK cats exam date badly so at the time that I booked my UK cat exam I was doing my masters and the deadline for my masters or like the big project that I was working on was the 28th of August and guess when I booked my new cake at the 5th of September literally for some reason in my head I thought that oh okay so I'm going to continue practicing for my UK cat even though I'm going to go through a really busy deadline and a week is enough just to you know top of the little bit of practice absolutely not mistake number two peaking too early so they often say that with the UK cat because it's something that you can't necessarily revise for and you can only practice you can peak early in your performance and again that's something that happened to me as I said I booked the UK cat for fifth of September but I made my booking around May time and obviously as soon as I booked it around May I started doing practicing or practices and I would do around an hour every morning for about a good three weeks to four weeks now obviously in this time period I had gotten quite good I was more comfortable with the questions and I would say that this is where my peak was but that was in May and my exam was in September and I got busier and busier with my masters I got more and more deadlines I got more and more work piling up and I never managed to recover the same competence level that I felt in me see ya Bev I might mistake number three consistently pushing back the exam date but consistently not practicing enough I was so burnt out with my masters and as I said I had booked my UK cat originally on the fifth of September which in itself was a mistake but then I decided you know what I'm going to push it back a bit more I had originally planned fifth of September because I was going away to Marco on the seventh and I would be getting back on the 16th so I thought wouldn't it be great to kind of get my out of the way and just enjoy my holiday and yes that would have been great but again in my sheer panic I decided to extend it to I think around the 20-somethings of September I was still completely burnt out from my masters I was on my holiday I wasn't in the mood to practice and I just had this UK cat anxiety in the back of my head even though I was trying to enjoy my holiday but essentially what ended up happening is I did enjoy my holiday as much as I could because I was worrying and I didn't get as much practice done because I was burnt out and I was trying to take a break Oh Andy gets better Oh worse I should say my holiday came and went all too quickly and I found myself in a position yet again where I'm not ready I'm freaking out I've only been practicing from the book and not from doing online tests so I extended it once again to early October again mistake I don't know what made me think that I've been putting it off for so long and I just couldn't it the thought of doing it fills me with dread because I'm just so tired from my masters and and again this did the same thing I stretched out my anxiety for longer and I still didn't practice I got medified and if anything it made me panic more because I realized that the bit of practice that I've done from the book is completely different than doing it online because I hadn't been doing timings and it was just a hot mess basically mistake number four not considering of aptitude tests by only choosing to look at UK cat I feel like I also mentally close a lot of doors for myself I know that other universities that I would potentially consider applying to you accept the beamers and sometimes the gum shots and people have said to me that in a way they are easier because you can actually practice for them especially somebody in my situation who has a science background not sure if they'll help that's just what people have said so long story short I did not do well in my UK cat at all and definitely not to compete with some of the graduate entry schools that people get and by this time it was already too late to you look agam satella bhima because i just wouldn't have enough time to properly practice for them but i decided it is what it is so i may as well just choose some universities and make my application so let's talk about mistakes in that category mistake number five choosing universities that either doesn't want to go to or that i knew i wouldn't get into just for the sake of applying I have to say I applied for four universities two of them I stretch away knew I didn't really want to go to and the other two I straightaway knew that I wouldn't be able to get to given my circumstances by apply for the sake of it two of the universities that I applied for Birmingham and Cambridge are the ones that didn't require any aptitude tests Birmingham is the one that didn't really want to go to and Cambridge was the one that I knew I wouldn't get into because it needed an a at a level chemistry and I got a be at a level chemistry don't know I applied I guess I just did here the two universities that I applied for were Southampton and Queens and BOTS Queens and bars of one university is just a joint institute Southampton again I didn't want to go to and Boston Queens I knew that my UK cap score was not high enough also I feel like this video is going to be so long I made so many mistakes we're not even halfway through I'm sorry mistake number six choosing universities that I knew my UK count was too low for again I mentioned this in the last point but that was the case for Queens and bots and also Southampton anyway so those are the mistakes I made in the category of choosing universities but again I thought you know what I'm gonna apply anyway the best thing I can hope for is maybe an interview and interview practice and then take it from there I guess now the next two mistakes are quite possibly to the stupidest mistakes one could ever make and if you've taken nothing else from this video please take this piece of advice mistake number seven leaving your application to the last minute now this is kind of rare for me because I'm not usually a last minute person but in this situation literally a week before the med school deadlines I was scrambling to get my modules together for GCSEs and a-levels and what examples I was on I was scrambling try my personal statement and again I was just a hot mess in fact literally like an hour before the deadline I was sat in a prepped I had my coffee I was having like palpitations because of the bird nervousness and also because of the caffeine and I was just like checking through my personal statement and me like oh I'm gonna change you see a change that banned do not do that and this brings me on to quite possibly the crescendo of this video and the stupidest mistake mistake number 8 getting a reference from one of your referees before sending the application off I honestly have no words at the same time that I was applying to med school I was also applying to jobs or I had been applying to jobs and the way references working jobs is that you send in an application or filling an application form send it in you also leave the details of your referees and if they shortlist you and if they like you only then will they contact your references and ask them know what's the person like etc now stupidly I thought that that's how it works with medicine as well if they like my application they're going to contact my referees and then ask them you know what's this person like turns out that is not the case 20 minutes before the application closes I everything sorted out my personal statements done all of my modules filled in and I'm ready to press submit but you never guess what the submit button is not clickable I almost had a mini breakdown and it turns out that you have to have the references already on a system before you can submit now in my state of freaking out and luckily Jack was there to kind of be like calm down he was going through the same process as well he made the same error so at least I wasn't on my own but still not the point we found that there was a little check box that you can check that said the universities are applying to know that I'm replying without a reference and obviously because that was the only way that we could send our applications off we checked her we sent it off and I'm not kidding both of us we were impressed we just sat there in our society for about ten minutes followed by a lot of nervous laughing and a lot of just what the hell just happened it took us a while to kind of like collect ourselves and be like well what do we do now and then the only thing we could do because this was a Sunday it's away times on Monday morning winner of our university choices and say this has happened can we still send elite reference and in this time I managed to text my supervisor for my masters and say oh my god like this has happened please can you help me uh please can you write the reference quickly and she was absolutely amazing and she rose a wonderful statement and like a reference statement really quickly for me and sent it and she even said that as my reason for delay I can write that it was her fault and she got back to me late which was again super nice of her but that didn't really make much of a difference because when I ran up the universities and Cambridge and Birmingham were immediately like no we don't accept anything further and and I think Jack had gotten in touch with Southampton and BOTS and queens and they had given an email and oh we could send them to you so either way we managed to both send off late references to all of our universities and very soon after that I got rejections from Cambridge and Birmingham so they would have immediately seen she doesn't have reference put her aside I'm still waiting to hear back from Queens and Southampton but like I said those were the universities I applied to knowing that my UK cats is too low anyway so it's not even something I think about now I'm it if anything I'm just making plans for what I'm going to do in my and next year before I apply to medicine again so it is a stir after a disaster but this is just the way it has come to be and all I can do is try to make the next best step and just keep going that way the silver lining is that I am in an amazing job now and so far I've been absolutely loving it and I guess this will be a good opportunity for me to stay in research for a little bit longer which is also something I'm super passionate about maybe it just so happened to work out this way so that I will get more time doing research before I move on to the clinical stuff or at least that's how I'm choosing to see it so I hope you enjoyed this video my lovelies and I hope that you found it useful please do not make the mistakes I did also make sure to give this video a big old thumbs up because I would be super-severe if you're new here do subscribe and join our little family and if you want to find returning beautiful amazing subscribers make sure to hit the little pal icon so you know that every time I upload a video all right take care and I'll see you next time


  1. Hi Atousa, thank you for your videos! I was wondering if you could possibly give me advice on my situation. I have applied purely for biomedical science and have already received offers. However medicine has always been the dream but from the start of college, I didn't think I was capable enough. But now, I am in my last year of college and I feel like I have grown as a person – this resulting in me realising I should've pursued medicine. So is it too late to take a gap year and then apply to medicine in October 2019? As I have just applied for biomed, I have not done the UKCAT nor have I had any work experience but if it's isn't too late, I am planning to sort this all out in the summer. Thank you again!

  2. Greetings. Could you let me know which medical school is the best for studying dermatological sciences in England please?

  3. I got 2 A an 2 B in As level do u think Birmingham will accept me ? Could u tell me the university in uk which doesn’t need ukcat test ?

  4. I have a question for you, what is the difference between extended medical degrees and doing medical degrees.

  5. I’ve just recently found your channel and started binge watching your med school videos- I’m from the US and want to want to attend university in the U.K. and hopefully get into a medical school there 🙂

  6. Medical fields are like knowing how to use Windows but science fields are about how to make Windows.

  7. hi atousa! it is amazing to see your new video again. you mentioned at 9:11 that you applied late to medical school, but what is exact time do you mean by late? I applied biomedical sciences undergraduate program to KCL and UCL in Nov., and it seemed that both of them didn't required aptitude test.. I've already heard back from KCL but not yet from UCL, and I am worried..

  8. I did the ukcat and completely failed despite practice and doing a course. I also did the gamsat thinking my nursing degree would help and guess what?! Nope. To be honest with the state of the nhs I’ve decided to not apply to medicine. Working with drs they all say that they wouldn’t apply if they were to be in my position

  9. Thanks for the advice. But just a suggestion, with ur background knowledge on cancer research and biomedical sciences y dont u apply for a PHD in cancer research, neurology or cardiovascular systems???

  10. Not a problem…All is well, thank you for sharing. I have no doubt that youre gonna get the placement! You deserve it!

  11. Hey Atousa, I'm so sorry to hear that things didn't turn out how you expected. I just wanted to say I found your channel a few weeks ago and some of your older videos really helped me during my application process. Thank you so much for you help! I wish you all the best and thank you for being so honest about your experiences 🙂 Don't give up!

  12. Okay, just got around to finishing your video. My immediate take-away: For right now, and in the recent past, everything surrounding med school feels stressful to you. Point blank. From studying for the exam, to putting off the application, to applying to unis you think won't accept you or that you don't want to go to….all of it is STRESS. FOR NOW. Key words – for now. And for reasons you already know. Now, that said – your current job makes you smile when you talk about it, you're so happy to be back there, you love the commute, you love research, you're happy there, you're totally engaged in learning and working. Maybe, just maybe, FOR NOW, this is where your heart wants to be, and later, you can apply to med school again when you're in a much better headspace from which to do it. Try to embrace what IS and what currently makes you happy rather than all these expectations. There are no "should's here; this is your life, and you deserve to be happy, so embrace what is, and do all those things you've learned from next time around. Proud of you!

  13. (I'm just commenting having watched a few seconds – want to quickly say that um you just completed a MASTER'S DEGREE, I would call that SUCCEEDING. I know what you mean, but that is absolutely a success unto itself and it's only gotten you closer to where you want to be. okay….continuing to watch) 😉

  14. Don't worry Atousa! You have such a great personality and I just love you for that. Have courage and keep trying to achieve your goals. I'll be more than happy if you succeed.

  15. This made me feel a lot better – what I did was not on your scale by any means though! I took biology, chemistry, physics and philosophy at AS level. I’ve always dreamed of doing biomedicine at uni and I was on track for AAAB. I did the same as you – worked too hard too early and ended up completely flunking my exams, getting CEUU respectively. Ive been out of sixth form for a year now but am looking to start an open uni course in Combined STEM with a focus on biomedicine. I hope all works out for you! ❤️

  16. Hey Atousa, I really appreciate you making this video. I think, although you did get rejected this time, you making this video with the mistakes you made will not only help the viewers but also you. Hopefully, when you reapply you get in! I really respect you and the positive attitude you’ve displayed in this video and I hope that, if I do decide to apply to medicine, i have the same great mindset that you have, regardless of what happens. All the best!!

  17. Hey Atousa – you can sit the GAMSAT in March and September 2018 for entry into med school in 2019 so essentially you get two shots within the same application cycle. The advantage of doing it in March is that you have your results in May so you know where you stand when you're applying, whereas in September you apply blind since you don't get your results until November which is after the UCAS deadline. Obviously that only leaves you with three months of prep though and it's an expensive exam. It requires a lot of focus and dedication which is hard to fit around a full time work schedule, but if you wanted to give it a shot at least the opportunity is there. Good luck! 🙂

  18. Why don’t you try applying for medicine in Bulgaria? Although I’m afraid I don’t think we get student loans

  19. Yay early squad. You are such an inspiration 😊. Not getting into med school is not the end of the world. As a researcher you are in the process of creating information that physicians will read. So don't loose hope and keep trying.😊

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